Who Says I’m Not Romantic?

by Mary Anne on February 14, 2011

I mean really, where is the gratitude?

Happy Valentines Day Y’all!



by Mary Anne on February 10, 2011

Tomorrow will be my 17th wedding anniversary!


We lived together “in sin” as my mother would have said for almost three years before so what I’m really trying to say here is that seventeen is the new twenty around the House of Stiletto.

I get so many reactions when I tell people how long I’ve been married. Most of the people I work with are a lot younger than me and if they are married at all most of them have not been married for more than five years at the most. There is a whole lot of “Congratulations!” that goes on. And then there is always the “How did you make it this far?” question which is the one that always causes me to scratch my head and look back while wondering…

How the hell did we make it this far???

My Mom used to tell me, “Marriage is not a privilege, it’s a job.  Never forget that.” And maybe I never did.

Look at her in her wedding picture…things were so different then.  Roles were defined.  Women had their place.  She knew what her job was.   But what about now?  Where the lines are blurred, responsibilities crossed?     For her entire life, she signed every document that ever crossed her path as “Mrs. Hugh C.  Calhoun, Jr.”      Her life was defined by his life, his name.

It’s not so easy any more is it?

The truth is, it is a job.   It’s a really, really hard job but one that comes with great benefits.   It doesn’t have a paycheck per se unless you are on the cast of The Real Housewives of  Beverly Hills anyway.  It comes with long hours, scary times and a whole lot of work.

But then there is the flip side.   There are moments when your heart could burst with joy looking at your spouse.   There are the children, if you choose to have them, that fill your heart with wonder and love when you realize you created these amazing humans that would not be on this earth if there were not a “you and him”.     There are the plans for the future and most of all, at least for me, there is the knowledge that there is one person on this earth who knows every part of me.   He knows the good and the bad, and trust me, there is a good amount of badness with me, and he loves me anyway.

We’ve fought like cats and dogs, we drive each other crazy.   We cross the line with each others personal boundaries at times.  We go to the brink but then we come back again.

But still…we move forward.

We try.   And then we try harder.

If you were to ask me today how we got this far?   I’d tell you to look around your own house and realize that the person you are standing next to today, with all their faults, might just be your happily ever after even if the road has some bumps.

I guess the bottom line for me is this…I want what my parents had.   I know how lucky I am to wish for that because so many can’t.   I want my children to have the childhood I had with two parents committed to each other no matter what happened.   I understand that many would not wish their childhoods upon their children.   I know in my heart how truly blessed I was to have such an example from two people I miss so much it kills me.   I want the fairy tale they had that I was privileged to witness and I owe it to my kids to try as hard as I can to give them the same gift.

Most of all, I owe it to myself to have that fairy tale for me.   It just takes work.  And I can do that.

Here’s looking forward to our 18th honey!   I love you now, I loved you then and I always will.




This weekend was a big one in DFW….the weekend we hosted the Super Bowl.    Before you start yawning and deleting me from your reader for talking about my  love of all things Green Bay Packers (also known as SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!!!), let me tell you this post is not about football.

It’s about The Jonas Brothers.

Whom I touched.

All of them.

(That just sounded wrong, didn’t it?)

Anyway, with the Super Bowl came some pretty amazing parties.    As most of you know I’m in advertising which means one thing….major major perks in the form of party passes.    Well, it means I help people sell you things you don’t really need but let’s just focus on the perks for the purpose of this post, okay?

The first party was the Marquis/Net Jets party.    I was able to take one client, in this case Lindsey who is more of a friend than a client because she’s all awesome and stuff.   (Yet another perk of the job…cool people you get to hang with and call it “work”.)

Our first celeb spotting was David Spade.    He’s so tiny!

And a good sport too.  Well, he was for the first picture anyway.   The flash didn’t go off so I demanded a do over.   That’s when he got the look he had on his face during Tommy Boy when he was talking to Chris Farley.  Trust me, keeping the references to that movie under check was not easy.

We thought we were done then but then I heard Lindsey gasp and I looked where she was looking.    Standing there was none other than Kevin Jonas who moved quickly through the crowd.    Lindsey and I chased him (yes, chased…we are all agile and stuff) through the tent until he went back outside…and into the bathroom which is when this picture happened.

Yes, I did stand outside the bathroom when I saw Nick go inside and patiently waited to get this picture.   Is that wrong?  Sue me.

Safely back inside and now unprotected by bodyguards for a minute, Kevin was again the target and Lindsey got him.

Look at how cute he is!   And Lindsey!  It’s all so age appropriate!    The Man wanted a picture too seeing as how everyone tells him he looks like he could be Kevin’s dad, so he and New Boss hopped in for a quick picture.

BTW?   New Boss is tired of being called New Boss since we’ve worked together for six months or so….he needs a new name.    I’m thinking I’ll refer to him from now on as El Hefe (the boss in Spanish) which makes him sound sort of like a dictator or crime lord but I like it so it stays.

Next up we stalked Joe.   And by stalked I mean got so close their giant security guards told us to back off, see?

But then it happened, we grabbed him!   And by grabbed I mean politely asked if we could pleasepleaseplease take a picture with him.

He was SO NICE and OMG so cute, so so cute.  We found out a few minutes later, he’s really funny too.

We had two Jonai in the bag and needed Nick to bring the Jonas trifecta home.   So?   I grabbed him.  And by grabbed, I mean I literally put my hand on his arm and dragged him over to me.     Look at how adorable he is, how much he doesn’t want to make eye contact with the crazy lady who is old enough to be his mother squeeing and hanging on his arm!

He was also amazingly kind and gracious.  (I’m going to just stop her and have a mommy moment and say that somebody raised those boys right.)    Not the best picture but the next one is the real keeper….

I got photo bombed by Joe Jonas!!!!!!!

See?  I told you he was funny.    And cute, but we covered that already.

Lindsey and I thought we were done and headed back to the hotel to get our cars.   But we weren’t done.   Standing there minding our own business we heard a familiar voice.   A very deep familiar voice…

Alec Baldwin!   More squee!!!!     The Man took this picture because he really thought that Lindsey and I would not dare to grab him.   Look at us plotting:

What The Man failed to remember was that Lindsey and I had a few drinks under our belt.  So we grabbed Alec Baldwin and made him turn around.  We have no shame.  Zero.

But my day wasn’t over (though I swear this post almost is…).    Later that night I took another client to the Maxim party.   Meet Jeff who is also totally wonderful and very easy on the eyes.     The other benefit to Jeff is that he is incredibly tall and can spot celebs by looking over the heads of everyone around him which is how we found Puck from Glee:

After grabbing Puck, and realizing he does not like to be grabbed so much, I managed to stroke his arm when I thanked him.   Ladies, he is every bit as hot and built in person as he is on the show.   I deserve props though for not rubbing his mohawk…you have no idea how much self restraint was involved in that one.

So there you have it.  A very long and bloviated post about my weekend.    Give me a break though, I rarely (never) have a weekend like this and probably won’t again before I’m 90 years old in a wheelchair.

However, now that I think about it, that will give me a unique advantage to pinch some cute butts though.

Always a silver lining!


Sheer Bliss…Dom

by Mary Anne on February 3, 2011

Oh hai!    That sappy person that posted earlier in the week is gone and I am back in all my snarktastic glory!     I was going to post pictures during Blissdom but after trying for hours and not getting a signal I gave up.   Not because I don’t care, but because it was happy hour.  Come on people, you know I have my priorities. 

The first night was the kickoff party, I did not, repeat….did not…embarass myself.   Well not much anyway.

Here’s my Chicky….Domestic Chicky,my roomie from last year.  She’s still speaking to me!

Speaking of  last year, my favorite new find then was Sarah from Saving for Someday…love her.

This year, I was asked to be a Tribe Leader.   I KNOW. My tribe was “No Niche”…you know, the people who run around in circles on their blogs wearing feathers and spandex….feathers optional, spandex not.   While I was hosting my tribe I met this hysterical woman:

Meet Lynn from All Fooked Up.

Okay, let’s stop for a moment here and discuss her because I think I’m obsessed with her.  You should love her just for that name, right?  Right.   Here’s one more little thing to love.   Lynn walks up, introduces herself to me and immediately busts out with a question.   “Let me ask you, if you were at a table, and on that table there was a plate of M&M’s….wouldn’t you think it was okay to eat them?” And of course I said yes, because in my world food on display = buffet opportunity.   Apparently not at the crafting tribe table.   Lynn had a big ‘ol mouthful of M&M’s when one of the craft people looked over and said, Ummmm….those were for a craft later….Whoops.

But look and tell me you wouldn’t go there…

Love her.  You know who else I love?  Rachel from A Southern Fairy Tale,  my Texas home girl who was the very first person I ever met at Blissdom 2.    Trust me when I tell you that you will go long and far to find a more enthusiastic, supportive and loving friend:

Also?  She is about to be famous…she has her own cooking show on The Motherhood!  Want to cook some tasty dishes?  Join her and learn about how she cooks up the most tasty dishes (trust me, I’ve tried them!)  hereCon Agra Foods are bringing us some amazing bloggers with great home cooking this year and I am so proud of Rachel for being selected!

Speaking of famous, let’s talk for a minute about Catherine from Her Bad Mother.   She’s big time.   And you know what?  She’s one of  the nicest people you will ever meet in real life.  I was so scared the first time I walked up to her and introduced myself at Blissdom 2….and BlogHer Chicago…well and on twitter and commenting on her blog…the list goes on and on.  But she is so normal and real.    And also, a giver of great hugs.  I love her.

Speaking of girls I love, do y’all know April from April’s Little Family?   She was one of the first people I started talking to in Google chat and we formed a great friendship over beer and wine (when she wasn’t pregnant of course…).    Almost three years later, I finally got to meet her and give her my trademark bear hug….she had been warned in advance.

Look at those baby blues!  What is that you say?  This picture looks better than the rest?  Oh, that’s because Julie from Angry Julie took it.  She’s way better than me. 

While on the subject of baby blues, do you know Chris Mann?  Because I do.  And OMG….I love this guy.   I didn’t get to hear him sing this time but I did get the chance to run up to him, proclaim myself in cougar love with him and still…he didn’t run screaming into the night!   He posed for a picture with me and even kissed me on the cheek.   Well, after I kissed him on the cheek, but whatever.


Okay but for one minute, let’s talk about how I went there with no intention of self promotion and it happened anyway.   First of all, I was on the cover of the guide.  I’ll spare you the picture but tell you the same picture ended up on some paper plates for a snack break the last day.   I walked in, saw the plates and immediately SQUEEEEEED, grabbed a stack and ran out.   Here’s the issue though, when you are a face on a paper plate that is holding chips and salsa?   You may very well end up looking like a gun shot victim.  Witness:

In all honesty?   I probably deserve a gunshot wound to the head for the drivel I subject you people to on a weekly basis.  But really…I was sort of thrilled to see the plates.  It was super cool.  And bonus points!  My kids are excited to eat the slop I pass off as food as long as they can smear it all over my face.   Love it.

Thank you Blissdom for a much needed getaway.  Thank you to my old friends who have been such an amazing support system to me over the years.   And thank you to my new friends who were kind enough to come up and introduce themselves to me.   There was not a single person at this conference I was not happy to see or meet.

Most of all, thank you to Alli, Barbara, Paula and everyone that made it possible.   You made one working girl’s week so much brighter.  I love y’all for it.

Until next year,



Timeline Of A Snow Day Breakdown

by Mary Anne on February 2, 2011

We interrupt this previously scheduled program of posts with daisies and little pink hearts about my love of all things Blissdom to bring you this important update.    Going into the third day off from school because of ice, the following is the anatomy of what a day around here is like.   And also, my opportunity to complain.


1:30 AM:  Awake to sound of burglar alarm going off.  Gale force winds have blown open outside door to bedroom as sleet and 17 degree wind blows into bedroom.    Settle down, go back to sleep under eleventy million blankets.

5:00 AM:  Awake again to sound of “Thundersleet”.  Yes, thunder and sleet can happen at the same time, and they are not a quiet pair.

5:10 AM:  Go check school closings….school is closed!  Huzzah!  I will sleep in!

5;30 AM:  School District feels differently about this idea of mine to sleep.   Calls to make sure we know there is no school.   Curse robot voice, possibly shoot the bird at the phone, roll over, go back to sleep.

6:15 AM:  Beeping noise eminating from Mr. G’s backpack has now woken me up and drawn my ire.   Assume that it is not a bomb about to explode,  throw bag out and close door.   Back to sleep.

8:00 AM:  “MOM WE OVERSLEPT!!!!” Need I say more?

9:00 AM:  Healthy breakfast has been rejected and children are off in search of fun.

9:15 AM:  Fun?  What fun?  There is no fun in this house.  The are officially bored.

10:00 AM:  Attempt to explain to still complaining children that while it may be a snow day for them, it isn’t for me and I still have to work.

10:01 AM:  Notice appreciatively that both children have mastered the art of throwing a side eye.

10:30 AM:  First outfit of the day for Miss G.  It involves sock monkeys and plaid.  Enough said.

Noon:   I have no choice but to stop and play Guesstures, which is like Charades with them or they will surely riot and set the house on fire.

12:15 PM:  Have you ever seen me play Charades?   Well, let me tell you after that humiliation, you never will either.

1:00 PM:   Mr. C informs us he is “heading out”.   We remind him the wind chill makes it feel like a degree outside.  ONE. And also, that is not snow out there, it’s ice with a tricky covering of snow.  There will be no snow fights this time.  He scoffs at us and heads out.

1:05 PM:  “It’s too cold to even have fun out there!!!” Yes dear, just like we told you.

1:30 PM:  Miss G decides if he can do 5 minutes outside, she can do six.   Enter the next outfit of the day.

1:40 – 1:47 PM:  We all stand at the window and watch Miss G pace back and forth, forth and back.

1:50 PM:   Miss G victoriously re-enters and proceeds to change into “something warm”.

1:55 PM:   We are treated to the third outfit of the day.

2:01 PM:   We are treated to the fourth outfit of the day.

2:08 PM:  We are treated to the fifth outfit of the day.    She likes this one though…spaghetti straps are always a good idea in this weather.

2:10 PM:  I am the meanest mother ever for putting the kibosh on her latest fashion creation.

2:12 PM:  The sixth, and final outfit, makes an appearance.

3:00 PM:  I decide the best option here is to lock myself in my office for the remainder of the day.

4:30 PM:  Do you know how you know if you’re white trash?   If it’s freezing cold with high winds and you have a drafty door that you tape shut with duct tape, that’s how.

5:00 PM:   It’s five o’clock somewhere!  Oh wait, it’s here!  Happy hour!

6:00 PM:   A sleepover invite magically arrives and we eject Miss G from the car while picking up a very polite, quiet friend for Mr. C to hang with for the night.

….and we didn’t see either one until the next day.

We are now moving onto day three and I can tell you that I am starting to understand the emotional motivation behind Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining”.     If you see me online looking like this?

Send help.  And Wine.  STAT.