So…You’d Like To Invite The Stiletto Family Over For Drinks?

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If there is one thing I know about my daughter it is this…she wants to be JUST LIKE ME. I don’t know why exactly but she is well on her way. Likes to change outfits 20 times a day? Check. Need for constant attention? Roger that. Intense love of shoes? A pair of new flip flops can bring her to tears. Deep fascination with all things pretty and sparkly and anything that smells good? We have that in spades. Add in here a beautiful candle at a friends house and one very curious little girl and you’ve got yourself the making of a story.

This weekend we were at my friend Gretchen’s house having a lovely time. I had gone to the restroom earlier and noticed she had a beautiful candle burning…cranberry and orange…so pretty and it smelled fantastic. I should have known that my admiration for that candle could only mean one thing….property destruction shortly thereafter.

Normally, a candle would not cause me to think such a thing. But given that Miss G has managed to morph almost completely into me in the past year or so (minus about one foot and 10 bra sizes) I should have known that she would find the exact same candle irresistable.

This is was the candle:

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This is what the candle looks like when a small girl picks it up to sniff and admire it, finds it full of…yes…hot burning wax and drops it on WHITE TRAVERTINE FLOORS.

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Please note that this is merely wax spilled on the floor. No small animals or small children were killed in the making of this photo. Not that the thought didn’t enter my mind…

It’s all over the wall too if you look closely enough. Also, the other wall is covered. And the mirror. And a little on the toilet seat. AND A LOT UNDER THE TOILET SEAT. ..and I think also on the ceiling but to be honest at that point I was busy working out a very difficult physics equation on how one small person could throw that much wax in so many directions.

And apparently, this is what my daughter looked like when she emerged from the bathroom:

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After being frantically called back into the house because at first it really looked like she had blood all over her (and based on the level of the shriek I’m fairly sure Gretchen was about to faint) I went to survey the damage in the bathroom. I’m no stranger to this particular game…property destruction is Miss G’s middle name. (sometime we can talk about nail polish and how it can make beautiful wall murals in not only your home…but the very nice homes of your friends as well…) Took one look and immediately asked Gretchen if we could just go ahead and buy her a new house because we had obviously broken this one.

After picking eleventymillion pieces of red wax out of my daughters hair and off her skin, The Man and I set about fixing the house so as not to have to buy an entirely new one (or at least a bath remodel). I spent :30 minutes on my hands and knees with a paint scraper prying the wax off the floor. Here’s the thing you should know about red wax (because I know all of you are very curious about the subject) IT SPREADS. As in, the minute you pick one scoop up some of it drops off and causes another mess. The Man came in next and after :45 minutes in a small bath with Goo Gone and a few rags, I’m fairly sure he may need to be checked into rehab from the fumes. Both of us now covered in bits of red wax and smelling like an odd combination of Cranberry and Goo Gone, the mess was finally clean and we vowed to lock Miss G in a closet the next time we let her out of the house.

So tell me, would you like to host us at your home soon for a get together? I promise you, it won’t be a dull evening.

I’m Moving To Atlanta Y’all!

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Not really. Got you to open my post though didn’t it? Yeah, I’m all tricky like that.

I go to Atlanta a lot for business these days. Most of the time, I get there, go straight to the hotel and get ready for appointments the next day. I don’t really know anyone there except my MIL (Hi MIL!) and she lives a full hour out of town. It’s a beautiful city and I love it but usually I’m alone there at least the first night before my boss (Hi Boss!) comes into town or I connect with a client for dinner or drinks. I do not do “the alone” well so it can be a bit of a bummer.

All that has changed now. I have found a real live human that I can stalk and force to come out and play with me. If you don’t know her already, meet Becky from Suburban Matron.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

Look at how happy I am to be clinging to her in that picture! I promise you it was not the one, two, three glasses of wine I had at dinner either. She is beyond cool and I wish I could move there just to be friends with her. Hey, she’s the one who said we should live closer together so we could hang out. While I can’t possibly move there and leave all my buddies here in Texas, I may pitch a tent in her front yard.

Wait, does that make me a stalker?

Probably.

STAY WITH ME NOW, THIS IS GOING SOMEWHERE….

I started stalking Becky online when I read this post of hers in September letting everyone know she had been forced enthusiastically recruited to join the PTA. Having been down that particular road in my life, and having it ended on what I’ll politely call “a bad note” I felt a need to follow her antics. (I’ll just say this, it really all boiled down to one woman and she should have known that showing up at school wearing a shirt that actually said “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy”, and giving me shit in a public forum was going to lead to one thing and one thing only…me throwing out an eff bomb and leaving the room, because I’m classy, yo.)

Anyway, Becky started realizing what she may have gotten herself into a few posts later at which point I felt it was my duty to step in, identify myself as a PTA Survivor and tell her to take immediate shelter.

We started communicating back and forth pretty regularly after that through comments until I finally got brave enough to ask her if she’d like to meet in person while I was in Atlanta. Not knowing what she was getting herself into, she accepted.

And now she is never going to get rid of me.

The thing I started to realize, and something we discussed, is that blogging is like pre-screening for friends. You find people you think you like, you read them, and you start emailing back and forth a little bit. Then sometimes there is a phone call or two and then all of a sudden you agree to meet in person. It’s a little nerve wracking at first, you’re not sure you are going to have anything meaningful to talk about but then you realize you already knew this person, maybe better than the girlfriends you see only every once in a while at school, Starbucks or the gym. And then you realize they know you too and cared enough to read you. They stuck with you through your sad stories, they laughed at your funny moments, they actually CARED if you were having a good or a bad day. Then your guard goes down and that’s when it happens. You realize you’ve met someone you want to be friends with in real life. It’s a blind date of sorts, but one where you got to take a little peek into the persons soul beforehand.

This blogging thing? Is pretty cool, isn’t it?

So now it’s your turn. Tell me about your blind dates with other bloggers. Give a little linky love in your posts too! If you’ve had a bad blind bloggy date, share that one too…but no names please!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pack up my house for the big move. Becky? Can you just stick a for sale sign in your neighbors yard and get them moving along so I can unload my stuff and not live in your yard?

Thanks, girlfriend!

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know…My 100th Post

I can’t believe it’s already here…my 100th post! Being the rule breaker I normally am, I am surprised that I wanted to do the whole 100 list. I thought about it a lot and then realized I owe you guys a look into the real deal that is me. You read me, you think you know me, but you don’t really. I give you snarky looks into my thoughts, my kids, my relationship with my husband…but nothing about what makes me tick…the stuff that has happened to me in my life that makes me who I am today. I also realized that I am doing this as much for me as I am just to share with you, I needed to categorize my life into points to examine it from a distance and in doing so, appreciate every moment of it. It’s not all happy, it’s not all good…but some of it gave me such joy and love. It’s truly been a rollercoaster…so here it is…

  1. In my life, I have been bone crushing poor, fairly wealthy and now live somewhere in the middle….which is the best and most comfortable place to be. And I am thankful for every step of the way because I learned so much. I have been blessed with a family straight out of a Leave It To Beaver episode and friends that I never dreamed I would be lucky enough to find, let alone keep.
  2. I was born in Dallas more years ago than I care to mention
  3. My parents were the most happily married people I ever met.
  4. I have not one complaint about my up-bringing.
  5. My greatest success in life will be if I can be half the Mom my Mother was.
  6. I am an only child.
  7. In grade school, I was considered obese.
  8. Kids used to jump out of their chairs when I sat down like there was an earthquake.
  9. I hated most of the kids that did that until my 20th reunion.
  10. I have since forgiven because there is so much more to be worried about.
  11. In high school I was in Drill Team.
  12. I tried out for cheerleader and didn’t make it.
  13. I am now thankful for not making cheerleader because it taught me a valuable lesson in life…it won’t always go your way, no matter how much you want it.
  14. When I didn’t make cheerleader, my Mother gave me a little present to try and make me feel better.
  15. I acted like a total bitch.
  16. I wish more than anything I could take that moment back.
  17. I was not a total bitch however, to a skinny little popular girl named Lisa, who 27 years later is still one of my best friends and lives only a few streets over….because even if we don’t talk every day, it feels good to be near each other. I love you Weezie.
  18. I fell in love for the first time with a boy named John Mark Griffin. John Mark, if you were to by some odd consequence to come across my blog? Thank you for being a gentleman and never asking me to compromise my values…because I probably would have…and to this day, I hope the first love of my daughters life is as respectful as you.
  19. I went to college at Stephen F Austin in Nacodoches, Texas.
  20. I made a ton of great friends that I didn’t keep up with. I wish I had.
  21. I never finished college. I had to come home because my Father was dying.
  22. I regret not finishing college.
  23. But I don’t regret the reasons why I didn’t.
  24. My Dad died in my arms and it haunts me to this day.
  25. I never went back to college because I had to take care of my Mother.
  26. I will never regret that decision either.
  27. After my Dad died and I came home I made some VERY. BAD. DECISIONS. Not a point of my life I am proud of.
  28. My Mother fell apart when my dad died and I had to grow up and pick up the tiny little pieces left behind.
  29. I don’t regret that part either, although at the time it was….not fun.
  30. She never really bounced back even though depressed she was still the funniest person I ever met…and such a good friend.
  31. She was my very best friend of all.
  32. She introduced me to another best friend…Gretchen…who some 20 odd years later, still makes me laugh every time I talk to her…Gotchy, thank you for being a great friend and a good example to my son…I love you.
  33. I, um, shall we say “kissed a lot of frogs” in the 80′s. A LOT. Again, not proud.
  34. I dated one guy for four and a half years that was the most verbally abusive human I have ever met. After him I dated a slew of losers that made me doubt my self worth and damaged any hope I had for ever becoming successful.
  35. But then I met a guy who changed my life forever.
  36. I met my future husband in a bar. He proposed about 300 times before I accepted…and I am not kidding.
  37. I am thankful he met my Mom…because she loved him more than any guy I ever brought home before him.
  38. She died 6 weeks after we got engaged.
  39. I still lived with her because I was picking up the tiny pieces still from my Dad dying and I wasn’t home the night she had a fatal heart attack.
  40. I think if I had been home I could have saved her. I will NEVER forgive myself for that night EVER.
  41. To this day, I think it’s my fault she died…and I punish myself for it a little bit each day…so many years later.
  42. I still cry at least once a week when I think of her, almost 17 years later…that wound will never heal.
  43. I still think to this day she was waiting to make sure there was someone in the wings that would love me the way she did. Thank you Mom….he does.
  44. The Man and I got engaged six weeks after the first day we kissed…well, that and other stuff.
  45. Sometimes you know when right is right and you just go for it.
  46. We didn’t tell anyone for six months. SIX MONTHS!!!!!
  47. When The Man proposed to me formally so we could tell my Mom, he broke out in hives, even though we had been secretly engaged for six months and I’m pretty sure he knew what the answer was.
  48. We couldn’t afford an engagement ring at the time so his Mom gave us a cocktail ring his Dad gave her a long time ago when they were still married.
  49. We got married on a ski slope two years later.
  50. My entire family was late.
  51. His, was not.
  52. Thankfully so was the JP (a woman) who married us as well.
  53. After we got married, we lived in the house I had grown up in and it fell down around our ears. And by this, I mean the roof was falling in…really.
  54. He worked three jobs trying to support us while trying to literally put the roof back on the house by himself before it fell in completely.
  55. I worship him for that to this day.
  56. We finally bought our first (non falling down) house in Carrolton, Texas. It was great. And we were very proud of it.
  57. We had next door neighbors that we would sit in the front yard with and get totally smashed on Halloween…I wish I knew where they are now because they were awesome.
  58. We dreamed of starting a family but we couldn’t afford it.
  59. And then I got a job at a start up called Yahoo.
  60. My job at Yahoo came courtesy of my third best friend Traci….who has had to put up with my craziness perhaps more than all the other BFF crowd. Traci, you are my apex and I don’t have to tell you how much I love you….we say it to each other all the time, not with words but with the bond we share and the bond our children are forming.
  61. And I got pregnant.
  62. My favorite movie in the entire world is, “It’s a Wonderful Life” so when I found out I was pregnant, I came home and said, “Mr Man Lasoos Stork!” and he almost fell over.
  63. I still remember exactly where he was standing when I told him.
  64. We moved to a bigger house in Coppell, Texas a few months before Mr. C was born.
  65. We had the most awesome neighbors there as well.
  66. I went into labor with Mr. C at work and refused to leave.
  67. It was a Monday.
  68. I got home and started making a lot of noise during Monday Night Football.
  69. The Man did not like that.
  70. 21 hours later…and only two of those with drugs, Mr. C made his entry into the world…and my whole life changed.
  71. I love my son more than life itself.
  72. And my job was crazy….i traveled all the time and missed his first steps.
  73. And then I got pregnant again and quit when I was six months along and took four years off..
  74. We moved to again two weeks before Miss G was born.
  75. The house we moved into was designed from the ground up by me….architecture, knobs on cabinets….everything….and it was magnificent.
  76. I unpacked the entire house during my nesting phase.
  77. And then 9/11 happened. And the world changed.
  78. I delivered Miss G three days later on 9/14…but I had gestational diabetes and they took her away for six hours…but when they brought her to me, she looked like the most perfect girl I had ever seen.
  79. My heart split in two and I learned as much as you love the first baby, you love the second one just as much.
  80. And your husband even more than you already did.
  81. After Miss G was past her first year, I went to cooking school.
  82. Before that I couldn’t boil an egg.
  83. I am now an excellent cook when I choose to be.
  84. Miss G started pre-school and Mr. C started elementary school.
  85. I joined the PTA.
  86. That was a bad decision.
  87. After a year of listening to bickering and taking slack from a woman who wore a t-shirt to school that said “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy” I actually said “Fuck y’all” and walked the hell out.
  88. Best decision I ever made.
  89. Love the women there now, I think I just lucked into an extremely dysfunctional year.
  90. We moved out of the house I built and into another one because the area we lived in was not exactly kid friendly and we found that the house, as grand as it was, no longer made us happy.
  91. Through the process of living in that grand house and then moving out of it and the speculation that went on in our neighborhood, I realized I had a fourth best friend…the fourth horseman actually…in the form of a woman named Korey who made me realize that I could balance my life and a big career because she has been the master of that for many, many years. Korey..my Korean sister…I love you and you know it.
  92. I went back to work for CBS Digital.
  93. I worked for a guy that I would kill for to this day….Chris Fix? You hear me? You gave me all of my confidence back and for that? I am forever grateful and in your debt. I mean that my friend.
  94. A couple of jobs later I am at another company whose name I will not say, but I’m happy.
  95. My children are now 10 and 7.
  96. Mr. C is the most thoughtful child I have ever met. His heart breaks at the thought of hurting someones feelings and he gives the best snuggles ever.
  97. Miss G is a life force unto itself. She is thoughtful as well, but will not think for a minute before shutting you down in the most public manner possible.
  98. The apple, it would seem, does not fall far from the tree.
  99. And I am still….almost 15 years later, married to The Man.
  100. We have had more than our fair share of ups and downs and to this day, I am so thankful for that very fateful day when I met him in a bar and acted every inch not the lady…and he fell in love with me anyway.

So to all of those that read me, first of all….THANK YOU. You have made my day as I have gotten to know all of you. My life is forever changed for having the pleasure of getting to know you, in real life or just in cyber space…I am so very thankful for each and every one of you.

And to each and every member of my family and friends, whether mentioned or not, I am the luckiest girl in the world for having the support system around me that I do…I love you all!

Spin Cycle: I Am Thankful For…

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Ready for it?

I am thankful for….Canadians.

Always have been, always will be. There is something in the water up there that just makes them nicer.

We’ve almost always had Canadian neighbors here in Texas. At one house, we had a guy who played for the Stars Hockey team two doors down. The year they won the Stanley Cup, he sent his girls out to ring every doorbell on the street for a big party. Everyone got to take family pictures with the cup and then the men hung out and drank champagne out of it.

Our next house came complete with Canadian neighbors as well. We became so close with them that we cut a gate into the fence between our yards because the constant back and forth on an almost nightly basis was easier that way. When our house had to have the floors ripped out, we moved in to their home for a month. And then we vacationed together. Enough to kill any friendship, right? Not this one.

I am blessed with two Mother In Laws. They are both lovely women that I am happy think of as friends that I enjoy spending time with. One is a Southern Belle in Georgia. The other? Is Canadian.

I thought I had run out of luck when we moved into the house we currently live in. No Canadians. But then I started blogging. Canadians again! A plethora of Canadians! Well not a plethora, but for sure a few really cool ones starting coming by my site. Captain Dumbass, Keely, Mamma Trish, Sherendipity…all these super cool people who I clicked with immediately. Because they were Canadian. If I forgot you? It’s only because I didn’t know you were Canadian. And I probably love you just as much.

Then yesterday we got a box in the mail. From Canada. For my daughter, who was beyond excited because it was pink and had a special label on it.

It even had one of her nicknames.

And she couldn’t wait to open the box.

And in it was Esther the Bear who flew from way up North to come live with her.

Esther came with a special greeting.

And Miss G was excited.

So very excited.

Excited enough to stop fighting with her brother and take the time to dress Esther up and give her a tour of her new home.

And all of these smiles were courtesy of another Canadian I am a fan of…Saucy at Bloggedy Blog Blog, who picked our home for Esther to come live at because she knew exactly how little girls think. Because she has a very incredible girl of her own named Loopy. Who loves Pink. And who now has a huge fan of her own in Texas. Oh, and Loopy? Miss G will have a pink streak in her hair in your honor as soon as school is out. Because we both think you are that cool!

So thank you Canada for always being so nice to me and sending such great people into my life. And Saucy? Thank you for the emails that made me feel like I know you a little bit and the visits to my site…but most of all for the huge smile that never went away yesterday on my favorite little girl of all.

Money! Shopping! Squeeeee!!!

So the weekend is off to a great start. Last night I won some money. A really decent amount of money. Enough to allow me to go out and splurge on something I wouldn’t normally buy for myself. I’ll give you a hint, it’s less than $1,000 and more than $500. I didn’t win it in the lottery, nor did I win it at a casino but as the result of a one year running bet with a group of many friends. I can’t tell you what we bet on because then I’d have to kill you and I like you too much for that.

Common sense would dictate that I should just throw this money back into the family checking account especially during these tough times. However, I haven’t splurged on myself in a REALLY LONG TIME. I’m sorta feeling like it might be that time…time to be selfish and go shopping for something I would never, ever use our household money for.

It’s really been a long time since I’ve considered buying something totally frivolous for myself so help me out. What would you buy if you had a little windfall of cash like I did yesterday and would you feel guilty about it?

PS: If you are participating in NaBloPoMo, please leave me a comment and let me know…I’m putting as many in a blogroll as I can so we can support each other as we crawl towards the finish line!