From the category archives:


The Post That Dare Not Speak It’s Name

by Mary Anne on November 5, 2008

This is a big moment for me. I’m coming out of the closet. In a political sort of way anyway.

I am a Republican. There, I said it.

I kept my views largely to myself for this campaign for a few reasons. First, politics will never be a part of this blog, at least not before or after today. Secondly, I figured most of you, being the intellegent people you are, had made up your minds and wouldn’t be relying on the rantings of a total stranger to help you along the way. I’m super smart, but so are you, which you’ve already displayed by choosing to read this blog. (Oh…and I love your shoes…congrats!)

My guy wasn’t on the ticket this time. I supported someone else during the primary and had he been on the ticket, perhaps I would have had a lot more to say. Probably not but you never know. I have never been a big fan of McCain…I’m not in tune with him on many personal views. I am an odd mix of a fiscal conservative crossed with a liberal bleeding heart (or so The Man says) so it’s always difficult for me to find a politician I like.

Had we had something as important as Proposition 8 on the agenda in Texas like California did? You would have gotten tired of listening to me. Why we have to go to the polls to make decisions on whether or not people should be allowed to be married stuns me. I have many gay friends that should have every single right that I do. Live and let love.

I read a lot of your blogs throughout the election. So many well thought out views, full of passion, hope for the future and a personal longing for change. And I loved those blogs. I respected the authors and today I am happy for them. I could tell the they wanted nothing but the best for every person in this country. Some blogs even urged people to vote, even if their vote would go against everything that blog stood for…just go vote.

But it wasn’t all pretty. I saw some things on both blogs and twitter that left me slack jawed in their hatred and vitriol. I was shocked at people who backed a platform of hope and change resorted to some of the ugliest mud slinging I’ve seen in a while. I’m not going to say much more than that because your opinions are just that, your opinions. Just as this is my blog and I chose to stay out of the fray of this election. It’s your decision.

Will I support Obama as President? You bet. Will I always agree? Probably not. I just hope that going forward, now that this election is over, some of the hatred dies down both in the blogosphere and on a personal level. The phrases “Yes We Can” and “You Suck” don’t belong in the same sentence and they never did. To quote our President Elect, “We are not a red America. We are not a blue America. We are the United States of America.”

Tomorrow, I’ll go back to being my normal bitchy self…rest assured this moment will pass. Congrats to all my friends who cheered last night as a sea of blue washed over the country…I’m truly happy for you.

PS: My apologies for the RIDICULOUS ads you may be seeing on my site. Google, you are so fired…as soon as I figure out how to work my blog and replace you.

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Joe The Plumber, The Drinking Game

by Mary Anne on October 28, 2008

I’d like to propose a drinking game. I think it will make it easier for all of us to endure these last painful few days of this mess we call an election.

Introducing: Joe The Plumber….The Drinking Game. Every time while you are watching the evening news and someone from either party says “Joe The Plumber”, take a big drink. Sure we will all be a hammered hot mess of bloggers but it’s better than watching the news, right? If you don’t drink…have some water and get some serious hydration…just join me on this one.

I applaud this guy for asking a logical question, I feel sorry for him that at one moment he was a normal member of society and now he has an official Wiki entry and cameras following him around. Also? I am jealous because I am fairly certain he will be able to turn this into a seven figure book deal and I can’t seem to get myself into a good position to ask either party a good question. But good for him.

I just need this madness to stop. And by stop, I mean right effing now. The phrase is making me crazy on both sides. Tell me what you think…are you in on this drinking game? And by tell me what you think, I mean tell me what you think about this drinking game of mine…BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, POLITICAL DIATRIBES ON EITHER SIDE WILL BE DELETED…the The Stiletto Mom just doesn’t roll that way. Go forth and be the champion of your own political destiny….just not here.

The one thing I hope we can all agree on regarding the topic of Joe the Plumber is this saying:

Now pardon me while I go curl up in a corner and listen to more newsh….hiccup…

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Premature Ornamentation

by Mary Anne on October 27, 2008

Two weeks ago I went to the mall while Miss G was at cheer practice and saw the most amazing thing ever. So amazing that I had to go back some two weeks later and take pictures to share with all of you. Now, before I get into it, let’s really define what two weeks ago means. I saw this for the first time on October 14th which in and of itself is not significant other than the fact it is too many days before Halloween and WAY too many days before Thanksgiving. Two holidays which I believe deserve their own attention.

Apparently not.

On October 14th, I walked into the mall and saw this:

I think I actually said “Oh. Hell. No.” out loud because the slack jawed man standing next to me said “Looks like a Hell Yes to me.”.

I love Christmas, I really do but I think it needs to know it’s place which is BEHIND HALLOWEEN AND THANKSGIVING.

I’m not ready to hear Christmas carols and I know they are just around the corner too. I understand we are in a recession (or not depending on who you listen to….I personally AM in a recession) and they need to boost holiday sales but I don’t think acing out two other holidays is the way to do it either. Additionally, I would like to think the least amount possible about how much money I’ll have to spend at the holidays this year rather than start hyper-ventilating about it in October.

Also? That globe thing? Is that some type of hyperbolic chamber for Santa? Is he suffering from some illness I’m not aware of? Or is this some type of a play on that Boy in the Bubble movie with John Travolata from years ago? I think my children would fear going into what looks to be an oxygen chamber with a person they don’t know, even if it is Santa Claus.

Santa rules the roost of the holiday peeps but being the magnanamous guy he is he needs to not steal the thunder of The Great Pumpkin and Turkey Day. No matter how much I love him, everyone needs to know their place and his place is NOT YET no matter how cool of a guy he is.

I hope this doesn’t put me on the “bad” list…though there is so much else that would qualify me for that distinguished honor this year, I guess I shouldn’t sweat this one too much.

Premature Ornamentation is so much like a another certain phrase that starts with the word premature. Lots of excitement leading up to it, and then a finish that disappoints because you were expecting to get your stocking stuffed and all you got was a lump of coal. Just sayin’.

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What Would You Say?

by Mary Anne on October 17, 2008

I’m feeling a little bit nostalgic after that last post, plus I heard from a lot of friends I grew up with but hadn’t seen in years and I started remembing what it was like back in the day. As I mentioned, I went to Catholic school which meant I went all the way through elementary school, junior high and high school pretty much with the same group of people. High school was just one long brutal kick in the ass, wasn’t it? Then I remembered that I recently commented on my twitter pal Mary’s blog over at Every Day Baby Steps when she asked the question, “What Would You Tell Your Teenage Self?”

Her post caused me to think about if I could sit down with the very stubborn, willful, insecure 16 year old me that existed so many years ago, what would I say? More importantly, what would I tell myself to do differently knowing now what I didn’t know then? I put a lot more thought into this comment than I think I ever have because question really made me think back to who I was then vs. who I am today.

Things I Would Do Differently:

I would look at myself with so much more respect.

I would admire my body instead of tearing it down.

I would not pay any attention to the boys or friends who pressured me to do things that didn’t feel right at the time.

I would realize that the boys who didn’t love me were fools because I had so much more to offer than the little part of my soul I allowed them to see.

I would realize that real friends build you up and never tear you down.

I would realize that the most popular girl in high school is probably just as insecure as me, she’s just a better actor…and if I had crystal ball…I’d realize she would be on a level playing field at our 20 year reunion.

I would realize that my parents loved me more than anything on the planet and weren’t correcting me just to make my life difficult.

I would look at teachers and realize the sacrifice they make each and every day for the next generation…sometimes with no thanks and little pay.

I would stop trying to force my life to go in a certain direction and realize that fate plays a hand.

I would realize that high school will end and life is a big, giant bowl of cherries…sometimes you get the pits but there is a whole lot of sweet in it too….

above all,
I would laugh more and cry less.

And I’d give anything to be young again and know the things I know now that I wish I had known then.

After writing this, I went back and looked at the list again and realized, is life really that much different now than it was then? I still make a lot of the same mistakes, have the same fears and doubts. It would appear based on this fact that perhaps I still need to have that little talk with 16 year old me as well as the, eh hem, mature version of 16 year old me that stares back from the mirror each day.

If you could go back, what would you tell yourself? And more importantly, do you think you would listen? Smart ass and serious comments welcome, you guys have a great weekend….

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The Law Of Threes

by Mary Anne on September 24, 2008

Tell me I’m not alone here. It’s becoming apparently clear to me that to get anything done in this house, I have to repeat things over and over…to be precise, three times.

Take last night for example. Kids are swimming, it’s time to eat.

“Get out of the pool.” Wait…patiently.

“Get out of the pool!” Notice I am being ignored.

“GET OUT OF THE POOL!” (now indignant)

Pint sized harrumphs greet me and they get out of the pool. Dinner battle is up next. And we all know how much fun that can be.

“Kids? Time for dinner!” (said in nice voice) No response.

“KIDS! Time for DINNER!” (little firmer)

“KIDS! TIME FOR DIN-NER!!!!!!” (losing it)

Here’s where the law of three kicks into psycho gear.


I’m not sure what the kids thought of this because they were afraid to make eye contact with me but The Man took his seat pretty damn fast, I’ll tell you that much. At least one person is listening to me in this house. Hmph.

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