Grade School Math

grade-school-math-1

This…..

(Miss G’s Star Student of the Week poster)

Plus this….

(Mr. C’s Thanksgiving project where we had to help a turkey escape his untimely death by adopting a disguise…in this case, the freaking Easter Bunny)

Equals this…

…a lot of this.

Perfect Day

fall1

My day today.

Got up to gorgeous Texas weather….blue skies, 70 degrees.

Took the kids for a walk on the nature trail around our neighborhood. After a few minutes of fighting, they were able to agree on a name for it, The Amazing Full Moon Forest. I almost burst with pride, the words “stupid” and “Jeez” were only used once or twice. And we were off…

There were trees to climb…

And sticks to find….

Oddly enough, this particular time the sticks were not used as weapons of destruction between Mr. C and Miss G…they were used to make “leaf snow”. One stick bearing child would hit the branch of a tree of his or her choice while the other one stood under it and leaves fell all around them giggling with delight.

After an hour or so, it was time to head home….

Whatever is in the Amazing Full Moon Forest needs to be bottled up and sold in the open market because I have never seen two such well behaved children. And especially not mine...

Here’s The Guy You Should Vote For

vote-for-cole

Today is the day that we go to the polls and history will be made one way or the other. All I can say is I’m tired of the politicians on both sides. Tired of the attack ads, tired of the reporting and tired of all the bashing. So tired, in fact that I’d like to suggest a third party on this last day of our election cycle as a write in candidate. He’s smart, he’s caring and most importantly he is truthful. Sure he is too young by 25 years but I figure if he gets enough votes we can deal with that small issue later.

Announcing my candidate for President, Mr. C, who I had the good fortune to sit with tonight for an election eve fireside chat where he shared with me his vision and his plans to shape this country of ours going forward.

TSM: Mr. C, tell TSM readers about your platform.
Mr. C: I fight for freedom, equal rights, lower taxes and that’s about it.

TSM: How will you handle global warming?
Mr. C: I plan to design a way to make sure that smokestacks and pollution are a thing of the past. I want it to all stop right now. I say that the ice caps melting is very bad because it is making less and less space for penguins, polar bears and seals to have homes and that is just as important as us having homes.

TSM: What types of sustainable energy sources are you in favor of?
Mr. C: I am working forward so that we can have solar and wind powered cars and that kind of energy. I say fuels we could use would be non fossil fuels and work towards fuels like water and stuff.

TSM: How would you control America’s increasing dependence on foreign oil?
Mr. C: I say we need to cut the foreign oil because we have oil and we should have the right to use it instead of buying it from other countries. We could plunge us into an economic crisis by using too much foreign oil and by not having enough money to be the country we need to be.

TSM: How would you support small business?
Mr. C: Small business owners are just the same as big business and they deserve to be just treated equally. Because both are business owners and the only difference is how big the business is.

TSM: What would you do to control spending?
Mr. C: I say we need to cut certain prices because taxes are already high enough and we don’t need to pay even more just for the regular prices.

TSM: What is your position on the Atom Fusion debate?
Mr. C: Who’s Adam?

TSM: How do you plan to unite the country?
Mr. C: I plan to unite the country by saying that all states are exactly the same. Technically, it’s all one chunk of land, just there are borders and stuff.

TSM: Wait, we are talking about uniting the people of our country, how would you do that?
Mr. C: Uniting the people is part of my platform. Equal rights are deserved for every single person in America, not just for a certain part.

TSM: Along those same lines, how would you heal the battle scars of those who feel very passionately about one candidate or the other?
Mr. C: What does that mean?

TSM: Ok, some people like Obama, some people like McCain…how do you make them get along after all this is over?
Mr. C: I say that this is an equal race and you don’t have to go around saying “oh I like my guy better than your guy”. You just have to wait and see who the president is and if you don’t like him, just get over it and wait for another four years an then you can decide then.

TSM: Finish this statement for me “If kids ran the country….”
Mr. C: …the country would be in a more stable state because kids get along much better than adults because you don’t see kids killing eachother. And kids can understand politics too, you don’t have to be an adult to understand it. So if kids ran the country the country might be in a better economical state because kids would definitely make sure that everything would be preserved that they need. Kids really understand animals and kids know about a lot of stuff too. Kids kind of know more about stuff than the politicians do now.

TSM: Describe for me your perfect running mate
Mr. C: My perfect running mate is a person who is strong hearted and not afraid to admit what he likes and very smart and friendly.

TSM: But what if he’s a she?
Mr. C: Doesn’t matter if it’s a she as long as they are strong hearted and can go out and get something that they really think should happen. If they want something they should go out and get it and that’s all I want in a running mate.

TSM: If you could change one thing in America today what would it be?
Mr. C: The economic crisis.

TSM: Oh please, stop being such a politico.
Mr. C: I say that kids deserve a longer time to break at recess because doing that gives them more time to get connected and recess helps them do better in school by getting all the stress off.

So there you have it. If you are doing a little last minute soul searching on this election day or if you are just downright undecided still, I urge you to consider writing in Mr. C as your choice for the next President of the United States of America. He will do right by you, I swear it….or I’ll take his video games away for a month.

Please note that these opinions are soley those of Mr. C and were transcribed verbatim…he is just that smart.

This post was written as part of the the ever brilliant Spin Cycle over at Sprite’s Keeper. Go check her out and read what other bloggers are thinking this election day!

Happy Halloween!

pumkin-3

Last night marked the official start to the Halloween weekend in the Stiletto house and that can only mean one thing…time to carve the pumpkins! The kids carefully selected the designs they wanted and then we went to work. And by we, I mean me and The Man because beyond picking the designs the kids didn’t really want much to do with it unless it involved very sharp tools which we generally find to be a bad idea. We were able to momentarily enlist the talents of Miss G who really enjoyed digging the guts out…

…and there are no pictures of Mr. C because he was more interested in watching Total Drama Island and popping in and out ocassionally to supervise myself and The Man.

Almost two hours later with sore arms and covered in pumpkin guts “the kids” had finished their pumpkins.

Not bad, huh? And it was all worth it too, because now I am a hanging with the cool kids over at Sprite’s Keeper in her weekly Spin Cycle. Happy Halloween you guys…hope it is a safe and happy one with lots of treats and not too many tricks!

History Repeats Itself

maryanne6

When I was in first grade, I went to a Catholic school where we had to wear uniforms every day. One precious day a year, all the kids were allowed to wear whatever they wanted for the grandest day of all…picture day. One boy? Got to wear a turtle neck and LOVE BEADS . He was totally the coolest 6 year old in all of 1971. But not me, nope….my mom put me in an itchy green dress with an ugly scarf to go with it. I did have some pretty rockin’ white patent boots though so it offset my otherwise middle aged attire just a little bit…but not much. It didn’t help that I was sort of a chubby kid with no athletic skills that people picked on.

I got to school on picture day and after enduring an awful lot of laughter over my stylish dress green polyester frock, I looked around and realized all the “popular girls” had bangs while I did not. My mom prided herself on not having given in to cutting my bangs despite my begging her…I had long wavy brown hair that she could do all sorts of things with to make me look even more like a middle aged 70′s housewife. (And not that there is anything wrong with housewives, but honestly, do any of you want to look like your Mom did then? Hip and cool were so not in vogue then in middle America…)

Well, I showed her a thing or two. Everyone, please meet Stiletto Mini, the 6 year old version of The Stiletto Mom.

See those crooked bangs? Yep, those were clipped by yours truly in Sister Mary Catherine Francis Angelica Margaret Elizabeth Anne Catherine’s (bc you can’t have too many Catherine’s) class with a pair of little kid safety scissors. Look at that uneven line…but more importantly, look at that evil gleam in my eyes. VICTORY! I may be dressed all wrong but man…I showed her….I totally jacked my hair 5 mintutes before pictures…take that! Also? While it looks like I have a missing tooth? I don’t…it’s a SPIT GAP. Ok, so let’s put all this together, chubby kid, dressed like a 1970′s polyester wearing forty year old, uncool hair plus spit gap equals??? You got it, six year old meltdown with safety scissors. Granted, it could look worse but there was a good four minutes spent trying to make them appear even for the picture with tremendous amounts of nun spit and I believe Elmer’s Glue…though I can’t be sure.

When my Mom came to pick me up that day, the nun stoically marched me out to the car and handed me over to my horrified Mother. I’m not sure, but I think they could hear her scream all the way up in Oklahoma, “OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR????” And what did I say? “I fixthed it Mommy.”

So when Oklahoma heard these very words come out of my mouth some 37 years later this weekend, they should not have been suprised. None of this should be a shock to me either because Miss G is a carbon copy of me. (Wanna know what she looks like? The picture above, with blonde hair….evil gleam in eye is the same)

Keeping in mind tht Miss G’s circumstances are totally different…she has a the tiniest bit of a spit gap, is very fit, wears super cool clothes and is generally popular, the thing I learned this weekend is bad hair happens to all of us.

Apparently, it went down like this. She had a headband and put it in her hair. Her hair, however, did not want to cooperate and would not form the perfect swoopy on her forehead. So doing what any logical 6 year old girl birthed by me would do…she got out the scissors and went to town. While she did not create the full bangs like I did, she managed to take a huge chunk of hair out of the middle of her face and elected not to tell me but to tuck it into the headband (you know, because I’d never figure it out right?)

Well I did figure it out. While I was on the phone with my cousin (who knew my mother all too well) all of a sudden Oklahoma heard from a crazed Catholic Mom from Texas one more time…“OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR????” And what she say? “I fixthed it Mommy.”

Well, of course you did. And now, Miss G, you have bangs just like Mommy did in first grade. You enjoy growing those out honey.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin