Today is the day that we go to the polls and history will be made one way or the other. All I can say is I’m tired of the politicians on both sides. Tired of the attack ads, tired of the reporting and tired of all the bashing. So tired, in fact that I’d like to suggest a third party on this last day of our election cycle as a write in candidate. He’s smart, he’s caring and most importantly he is truthful. Sure he is too young by 25 years but I figure if he gets enough votes we can deal with that small issue later.
Announcing my candidate for President, Mr. C, who I had the good fortune to sit with tonight for an election eve fireside chat where he shared with me his vision and his plans to shape this country of ours going forward.
TSM: Mr. C, tell TSM readers about your platform.
Mr. C: I fight for freedom, equal rights, lower taxes and that’s about it.
TSM: How will you handle global warming?
Mr. C: I plan to design a way to make sure that smokestacks and pollution are a thing of the past. I want it to all stop right now. I say that the ice caps melting is very bad because it is making less and less space for penguins, polar bears and seals to have homes and that is just as important as us having homes.
TSM: What types of sustainable energy sources are you in favor of?
Mr. C: I am working forward so that we can have solar and wind powered cars and that kind of energy. I say fuels we could use would be non fossil fuels and work towards fuels like water and stuff.
TSM: How would you control America’s increasing dependence on foreign oil?
Mr. C: I say we need to cut the foreign oil because we have oil and we should have the right to use it instead of buying it from other countries. We could plunge us into an economic crisis by using too much foreign oil and by not having enough money to be the country we need to be.
TSM: How would you support small business?
Mr. C: Small business owners are just the same as big business and they deserve to be just treated equally. Because both are business owners and the only difference is how big the business is.
TSM: What would you do to control spending?
Mr. C: I say we need to cut certain prices because taxes are already high enough and we don’t need to pay even more just for the regular prices.
TSM: What is your position on the Atom Fusion debate?
Mr. C: Who’s Adam?
TSM: How do you plan to unite the country?
Mr. C: I plan to unite the country by saying that all states are exactly the same. Technically, it’s all one chunk of land, just there are borders and stuff.
TSM: Wait, we are talking about uniting the people of our country, how would you do that?
Mr. C: Uniting the people is part of my platform. Equal rights are deserved for every single person in America, not just for a certain part.
TSM: Along those same lines, how would you heal the battle scars of those who feel very passionately about one candidate or the other?
Mr. C: What does that mean?
TSM: Ok, some people like Obama, some people like McCain…how do you make them get along after all this is over?
Mr. C: I say that this is an equal race and you don’t have to go around saying “oh I like my guy better than your guy”. You just have to wait and see who the president is and if you don’t like him, just get over it and wait for another four years an then you can decide then.
TSM: Finish this statement for me “If kids ran the country….”
Mr. C: …the country would be in a more stable state because kids get along much better than adults because you don’t see kids killing eachother. And kids can understand politics too, you don’t have to be an adult to understand it. So if kids ran the country the country might be in a better economical state because kids would definitely make sure that everything would be preserved that they need. Kids really understand animals and kids know about a lot of stuff too. Kids kind of know more about stuff than the politicians do now.
TSM: Describe for me your perfect running mate
Mr. C: My perfect running mate is a person who is strong hearted and not afraid to admit what he likes and very smart and friendly.
TSM: But what if he’s a she?
Mr. C: Doesn’t matter if it’s a she as long as they are strong hearted and can go out and get something that they really think should happen. If they want something they should go out and get it and that’s all I want in a running mate.
TSM: If you could change one thing in America today what would it be?
Mr. C: The economic crisis.
TSM: Oh please, stop being such a politico.
Mr. C: I say that kids deserve a longer time to break at recess because doing that gives them more time to get connected and recess helps them do better in school by getting all the stress off.
So there you have it. If you are doing a little last minute soul searching on this election day or if you are just downright undecided still, I urge you to consider writing in Mr. C as your choice for the next President of the United States of America. He will do right by you, I swear it….or I’ll take his video games away for a month.
Please note that these opinions are soley those of Mr. C and were transcribed verbatim…he is just that smart.
This post was written as part of the the ever brilliant Spin Cycle over at Sprite’s Keeper. Go check her out and read what other bloggers are thinking this election day!
