This weekend, The Man and I had a rare chance to shuffle off both our kids and go to a movie. Normally our weekend movies involve something animated and usually by Disney. So with the chance to go see something that didn’t involve penguins, cats, donkeys or dolphins we really jumped at the chance.
We have a favorite place we go for movies. They have not only really great entrees instead of the usual fare of Milk Duds and Popcorn, the also have a full bar. Yes! This allows us to sip wine while enduring said penguins, cats, donkeys and dolphins and still escape thinking we still had something of an evening out…even if we have two children fighting the entire way home.
So given our night of freedom, we decided to go see J. Edgar. The buzz on this movie was huge and The Man is quite the history buff. Personally, I am quite the Leonardo DiCaprio buff so this was a match made in heaven.
The first shock to the system came when I realized there would be no hot Leo for me at any point in this movie, but then again I sort of knew this going in.
On the left, HOT. On the right, NOT.
The movie itself, was amazing. Or at least I think it was. Aside from being a little bit put out that I would not be getting my Hot Leo fix, the guy next to me was driving me crazy…and I’m not talking about The Man.
Remember before when I mentioned that full bar deal? Yeah, the guy next to me was taking full advantage of it. Aside from the four (FOUR!!!!) separate food orders he placed, he was a big fan of rum and coke. How do I know this you ask? Because he ordered at least six during the course of the movie. It wouldn’t be a big deal really, but the waiter had to walk in front of us to serve him each and every time…and also, he started jiggling his ice in his glass to indicate, “Please sir, bring me some more of the stupid juice.”
He was okay at first. Quiet except for the loud manner in which he chewed his four courses of food. (Chips with Queso, Wings, Hamburger…and then buttered popcorn in case you were wondering.) The thing is, the drunker he got, and the more jiggled his glass to exemplify his displeasure with it’s current empty status, the more of a historian he became to his date whom I can only assume is a recent immigrant to this country if she didn’t know the basic back story of J. Edgar Hoover’s well documented moments in the spotlight.
Let me share some examples:
The scene: It’s the early 60′s. The phone rings. Moments earlier, there was a scene where Robert Kennedy and J. Edgar get into it, so one can easily assume it is the era of Camelot. “Sir, there’s been a shooting in Dallas.” Me? I’m guessing it’s JFK because really? We can be a hot mess in Dallas but we’ve only managed to assassinate one person in Dallas important enough to make it to the direct line of the head of FBI. I was sort of thinking this was a given.
Drunk guy: LOUDLY comments, “Hot damn, I bet that was that John Kennedy dude.”
YOU THINK??????
The scene: A man, who appears to be African American, is being surreptitiously recorded having “relations” with a white chick who is definitely not his wife. I’m guessing again….60′s, MLK recordings. My friend is stumped though.
Drunk guy: “Shee-it. Who the hell is that dude???”
CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT? HEARD OF IT REDNECK???
And on and on it went until The Man offered to change places with me which I politely declined because I knew it was going to take one more jiggle of the empty rum glass or one more stupid comment and my sweet history buff was going to make history of my drunk friend sitting next to me.
I’d like to recommend this movie to you…I think it was really good, but then again being an educated person, I sort of knew how it was all going to shake out.
Jiggle, jiggle…
TSM
{ 6 comments }
I think you know how I would characterize Master Jiggle-Jiggle.
Ahem.
Now if this had been a HOT Leo movie I would’ve really been pissed!
p.s. good for you for going out on a real movie date…we watched Mr. Popper’s Penguins this weekend!
I cannot stand inconsiderate people. Unfortunately, there seems to be more and more of them these days.
They must serve the booze in plastic cups because I fully expected to hear that you had broken your glass in order to cut said fool. Or maybe that’s what I would have done.
If I were you I would’ve “accidentally” spilled my drink in his lap in an attempt to get him to leave. If it didn’t work, I would’ve “accidnetally” done it over and over again.
I’m still a bit speechless over the (non) hot Leo.
King of the World? Not today.
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