I’m Baaaaaack!!!

Wow.  Almost a month since I’ve shown up.  Have you enjoyed your break from my drivel?    I sure hope so because this bitch on heels is back after a month previously named October which is now officially recognized in our house as “Sicktember”.

It all started innocuously enough.  Mr. C had a little cough.   Not a bad one mind you.   But a cough none the less.   He wanted to go see “Footloose” and to be honest, I did too because nothing makes me happier than going back to the 80′s.    Also mentally at best I am a 12 year old boy in terms of what entertains me so my son and I do very well together.

Before the movie, I asked him repeatedly, “Are you getting sick or is this just allergies?”.     Just allergies he assured me repeatedly though I did have my suspicions.   And it would have all been fine were it not for the popcorn.

Stupid popcorn.

I just had to have some, the smell wafting my way as I joyously danced in my seat embarrassing not only my son but his nice friend that had no idea what he was getting into when he joined us.  See?

The movie was fun.   All Saturday night I recounted with much joy and improvised dance my love for all things 80′s to The Man who eventually tired of me and left me alone to dance on my back porch.   I can only hope the neighbors were asleep.    The fact that most of them are unwilling to make eye contact with me lately leads me to believe they were not…but whatever….a girls gotta bust a move when the mood strikes.

But then there was the next day.  Sunday.  A day that will live in infamy.

Somewhere around 1:00 PM, I had the specific feeling I had been hit square on the chest by a truck.  A big one.   I went to bed and didn’t get up for a very long time.

On Monday morning, Mr. C and I huddled together coughing with blankets wrapped around us.   The Man and Miss G looked upon us with great disdain while keeping a safe distance.    They escaped germ free and went about their lives.   We hated them.

Off to the doctor we went, where I managed to snap this picture of my son in agony because I am the most awesome mom in the history of ever, that’s why:

We were both diagnosed with severe bronchitis, mine bordering on walking pneumonia.   As an added bonus, I had my boss coming into town the next day for a party at an agency for 60 people.   Yes, 60.   It was an 80′s themed party (I KNOW…enough of the 80′s!!) and I pulled it together, and managed not to collapse.

The next day I had lunch with the entire American Airlines team and while the thought of that might scare the shit out of most, I’ve been friends with these people forever so I wasn’t too worried.  Also, at that point, I’d gone back to the doctor, confirmed walking pneumonia that was no longer contagious and been given some lovely cough syrup with codeine. Life at that moment was good, even if my driving was not.  I may or may not have hugged a few of the clients but I do that when I’m not stoned so if they were shocked, they at least hid it well.   I love them for this.

After I had my boss safely on a plane back home, I collapsed with my son and gave into the illness.   Actually I turned my life over to it and prayed for death.  This picture was titled “Black Lung, Day Two” on my facebook page.

Mr. C bounced back at the end of the week and went back to school.   I, on the other hand, fell farther into it all and just decided to never leave bed again…ever.

The following week, I was still sick but had to catch up.  By the end of the week, I felt almost normal.   Mr. C had been back to school, I was caught up at work, and I was really looking forward to going full speed ahead.    One week of full health under our belts, Halloween tackled, and I was excited to close this chapter.

And then?  This?

He had a relapse.   A relapse so bad his bronchial tubes had closed and he wasn’t getting air so we had to go for a breathing treatment.   No chance of him going to school for several days as we loaded him up on inhalers and steroids, I was once again stuck with a wheezing kid who needed a whole lot of love which I was happy to give.

The good news is, we are both fine now.  The bad news is, I’m back.

And now you have to listen to me again.

My apologies.

TSM