Get In Line…I’m A Contender For Mother Of The Year AGAIN

by Mary Anne on March 24, 2011

Last year I nailed it. None of you really had a chance after my performance in October of last year where I gave my son girls shoes to wear to school and then butchered my daughter’s hair. (And trust me, if you haven’t read this one? You want to. It’s a step by step guide to a future psychiatrist session for your kids.)

Today I mounted my campaign yet again. I’m going to tell you, I’m not a slam dunk yet as I didn’t torture both children but I’m warming up so you might just want to get your game on if you don’t want me going for a two-peat.

This week, my daughter is MVP of her third grade class. She’s held this esteemed honor one other time this year and it came with massive responsibility on my part. There were photos and letters to be sent, favorite books to be shared, all capped with a special in classroom lunch with her beloved teacher. I was full on win on all accounts and deliverables except that whole lunch thing. Miss G had cafeteria food that day which I was promptly told was a huge fail and would not be tolerated the next time.

Yeah, about that.

So she got MVP again and I immediately emailed said beloved teacher to ask what the heck I was supposed to do because I have slept since then and my children and job are driving me into early dementia and I can’t remember my own last name, let alone what I am supposed to do for such an auspicious occasion. (Also? Said children and job have driven me to forget the laws of punctuation so I now speak in the longest run on sentences in the history of ever.)


The teacher promptly emailed me back to let me know I didn’t need to do a thing since this was her second time around. Miss G would receive special recognition in class but beyond that I was free and clear.

Except….except…Miss G was not down with that. Not at all. She wanted her recognition and she wanted it in the form of chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A on her special lunch in the classroom with above referenced beloved teacher.

Okay, easy enough. I could bring chicken nuggets for her and her teacher. This was an easy negotiation.

Except….except…..I forgot.

And I didn’t remember until 3:30 in the afternoon. The Man had taken Miss G to the orthodontist to get her tune up on the metal currently occupying her mouth. I fully expected the phone call to be one where she excitedly shared her new wax colors with me. (Easter colors by the way, baby pink and blue, in case you were wondering.)

As you can imagine, that is not the report I received. Upon issuing my standard greeting of, “Hi Sweetie!” I was immediately barraged by a line of questioning so fierce and so demanding…and so squeaky voiced…I immediately sought cover under my desk.

It seems that I had forgotten the promise I made to her last night. And she? Stood in her classroom and waited for me to show up with those damn nuggets. And then she cried. And then she got her crappy (my words, not hers) cafeteria food.

And then I died a million tiny deaths and cried a few tears of my own.

The End.

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1 JennaFarelyn March 24, 2011 at 5:41 pm

*HUG* I can only commiserate here, no judgment ever. I’m sorry she was hurt and I am sorry you are hurting. Thank goodness tomorrow is another day.

2 michele March 24, 2011 at 6:21 pm

You might only win because my kids are too old for me to screw up any more. If they weren’t all bets would be off. Don’t beat yourself up too much. You are still one of the smartest, hardest working and compassionate women I know and that is what your children will remember when they are older. Right now yeah, not so much.

3 Kelly Normal March 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm

I’m a teensy bit psychic, and (spoiler alert!) she’s going to be fine. You, on the other hand, need to take a seriously long-ass weekend and get yourself a case of wine and one of those fancy bathtubs that has the bubbling even when you’re not farting.
Kelly Normal recently posted..there was this girlMy Profile

4 Tara March 25, 2011 at 2:24 am

Ah yes I salute you. Guilt Gene well and truly taken up camp on your shoulders there. You know that makes you a perfect mum, right?!

5 Brandi March 25, 2011 at 8:04 am

Oh, I feel your pain. We had spring pictures today and I didn’t remember until my 9-year-old reminded me at 10:30 last night. No time to wash decent clothes (they normally wear uniforms to school). They both had on jeans and T-shirts this morning and I told them they weren’t getting picturs today because “your hair looks like THAT” which nothing short of a shower and hair dryer could fix. They were really excited about pictures today too and I had to go and kill it. 4 hours later and I’m still feeling guilty.

6 Sprite's Keeper March 25, 2011 at 8:24 am

Still trying to get over the fact that she gets MVP and YOU are required to fork over a lunch for her and the teacher???
I think I’m going to encourage the underachiever route for Sprite. I can’t afford the accolades!
Sprite’s Keeper recently posted..I wish it were that easyMy Profile

7 Lydia March 25, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I haven’t had a chance to let my 12-week-old daughter down yet, I hadn’t even thought about that happening! I can imagine how you feel though! I’m sorry. :( She’ll forgive you in time…

8 Jamie March 25, 2011 at 1:01 pm

OH girl I can barely keep up with my daughters’ schedules. I, too, have early onset dementia!

To make you feel better…

In first grade my older daughter adored this one particular friend who had a roller skating party. We arrived at a time that I thought was actually “early” (oh I crack myself up) and I realized as soon as we walked in and saw the kids eating cake that I had royally screwed up and we were arriving as the party was ending. HUGE FAIL. Tears were shed. The horrors.

9 Gigi March 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I had an *awesome* comment this morning. Seriously. But my computer had other ideas. It ate the comment for breakfast. Now I can’t remember what I wanted to say…..

Just know this – you aren’t the first mom to die a tiny million deaths – and you won’t be the last…..

AND! for the most part? Those things you feel the worst for – won’t cause them to end up on the therapist’s couch. That is reserved for the stuff that you didn’t even think about while it was happening.
Gigi recently posted..Im getting more wrinkle-y by the minute – I need your help!My Profile

10 Rolly March 26, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Really? did i read that right? you bought your son, girl shoes?
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11 Keely March 27, 2011 at 7:29 am

Ouch. I’m probably going to have a lot of those moments, so let me know the best way to cope.
Keely recently posted..So let the sun shine in-face it with a grin-smilers never lose-and you get to freak out the neighboursMy Profile

12 Cam - Bibs&Baubles March 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Eek! I totally understand. Between the kid, the hubs and the J-O-B, i barely remember my name let alone my to do list. At this rate, I see many of these moments in my future.

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