Timeline Of A Snow Day Breakdown

by Mary Anne on February 2, 2011

We interrupt this previously scheduled program of posts with daisies and little pink hearts about my love of all things Blissdom to bring you this important update.    Going into the third day off from school because of ice, the following is the anatomy of what a day around here is like.   And also, my opportunity to complain.

SNOW DAY IN THE HOUSE OF STILETTO:

1:30 AM:  Awake to sound of burglar alarm going off.  Gale force winds have blown open outside door to bedroom as sleet and 17 degree wind blows into bedroom.    Settle down, go back to sleep under eleventy million blankets.

5:00 AM:  Awake again to sound of “Thundersleet”.  Yes, thunder and sleet can happen at the same time, and they are not a quiet pair.

5:10 AM:  Go check school closings….school is closed!  Huzzah!  I will sleep in!

5;30 AM:  School District feels differently about this idea of mine to sleep.   Calls to make sure we know there is no school.   Curse robot voice, possibly shoot the bird at the phone, roll over, go back to sleep.

6:15 AM:  Beeping noise eminating from Mr. G’s backpack has now woken me up and drawn my ire.   Assume that it is not a bomb about to explode,  throw bag out and close door.   Back to sleep.

8:00 AM:  “MOM WE OVERSLEPT!!!!” Need I say more?

9:00 AM:  Healthy breakfast has been rejected and children are off in search of fun.

9:15 AM:  Fun?  What fun?  There is no fun in this house.  The are officially bored.

10:00 AM:  Attempt to explain to still complaining children that while it may be a snow day for them, it isn’t for me and I still have to work.

10:01 AM:  Notice appreciatively that both children have mastered the art of throwing a side eye.

10:30 AM:  First outfit of the day for Miss G.  It involves sock monkeys and plaid.  Enough said.

Noon:   I have no choice but to stop and play Guesstures, which is like Charades with them or they will surely riot and set the house on fire.

12:15 PM:  Have you ever seen me play Charades?   Well, let me tell you after that humiliation, you never will either.

1:00 PM:   Mr. C informs us he is “heading out”.   We remind him the wind chill makes it feel like a degree outside.  ONE. And also, that is not snow out there, it’s ice with a tricky covering of snow.  There will be no snow fights this time.  He scoffs at us and heads out.

1:05 PM:  “It’s too cold to even have fun out there!!!” Yes dear, just like we told you.

1:30 PM:  Miss G decides if he can do 5 minutes outside, she can do six.   Enter the next outfit of the day.

1:40 – 1:47 PM:  We all stand at the window and watch Miss G pace back and forth, forth and back.

1:50 PM:   Miss G victoriously re-enters and proceeds to change into “something warm”.

1:55 PM:   We are treated to the third outfit of the day.

2:01 PM:   We are treated to the fourth outfit of the day.

2:08 PM:  We are treated to the fifth outfit of the day.    She likes this one though…spaghetti straps are always a good idea in this weather.

2:10 PM:  I am the meanest mother ever for putting the kibosh on her latest fashion creation.

2:12 PM:  The sixth, and final outfit, makes an appearance.

3:00 PM:  I decide the best option here is to lock myself in my office for the remainder of the day.

4:30 PM:  Do you know how you know if you’re white trash?   If it’s freezing cold with high winds and you have a drafty door that you tape shut with duct tape, that’s how.

5:00 PM:   It’s five o’clock somewhere!  Oh wait, it’s here!  Happy hour!

6:00 PM:   A sleepover invite magically arrives and we eject Miss G from the car while picking up a very polite, quiet friend for Mr. C to hang with for the night.

….and we didn’t see either one until the next day.

We are now moving onto day three and I can tell you that I am starting to understand the emotional motivation behind Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining”.     If you see me online looking like this?

Send help.  And Wine.  STAT.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Crystal @ Simply Being Mommy February 2, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Ugh, so sorry! I’m in Texas and no snow so far. Although they are predicting snow for tomorrow night.
Crystal @ Simply Being Mommy´s last blog ..Custom Mothers Bracelet by TinySugarscom GiveawayMy ComLuv Profile

2 Dr. Liz February 2, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Yep. We stock up on booze and dog treats (no kids, but bored high-energy dogs is only moderately less irritating than bored kids) before big storms. We didn’t get the snow, but we have had arctic air for the last two days. Today? The dogs got shipped off to daycare because they needed to burn off some energy. There were about 40 other high-energy dogs there as well… We’re hoping it gets into double digits (positive ones, that is) tomorrow. And that the wind stops blowing. In the meantime? Scotch, neat.
Dr. Liz´s last blog ..Enough of the Cold!!!My ComLuv Profile

3 Jan February 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Boy, can I relate – they canceled school here in NE Ohio yesterday because of dire warnings that never came to pass, so my 16-year-old spent the entire day eating me out of house and home and forgetting to let the dog out or do the dishes. Of course, the dire warnings came true around midnight when Mother Nature considerately dumped an inch of ice on us, then deprived us of power. I spent the day at the office (which did have power) with said 16-year-old every bit as bored as your kids. I finally dumped him off on his best friend (who had power) and the dog and I prepared to sleep at the office. Fortunately, when I went back home six hours later to make sure the faucets were all dripping (it is going to be a balmy 6 degrees here tonight) the power was back on. So I left the teenager to bug his buddy’s mom for the night and the dog and I came home.

And I’m drinking a martini.

4 marathonmom February 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Yup the rolling blackouts hit me hard this morning too. I can’t believe my company expects us to work from home. My kids are bored and driving me insane. I am about to drink bleach. Good Luck on day 3 and fingers crossed for Friday!
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5 Amo February 2, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Three of the four Davis’s had mono. This cost us TWO WEEKS of solitary and then SIX DAYS of missed school.

The ice storm that followed? I scoffed at it.
Amo´s last blog ..Only DeuceMy ComLuv Profile

6 Irish Gumbo February 2, 2011 at 6:59 pm

If the winds die down, I’ll try parachuting in some vino. Gotyerback, my dear!

Say, what are you writing? Not the same sentence over and over, is it?
Irish Gumbo´s last blog ..VaseMy ComLuv Profile

7 Becky February 2, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Thundersleet!?! That sounds like something from a Dennis Quaid movie!

I’m sorry there is no fun in your house. There is none here either, until it’s time to go to school, and then there’s all this fun we don’t want to miss.

Maybe scoot the rusted washin’ machine up against the drafty door to hold it closed.

8 Michele February 2, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Duct tape? We’s down here just roll grandpa up against the door. He’s skinny, scrappy and drunk so he kinda molds to the jam.

9 Jen February 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm

I think the world needs more sock monkeys and plaid, personally.

10 Gigi February 3, 2011 at 3:32 am

Mother Nature must just be peeing herself from laughing so hard. It’s a cruel joke that she’s playing. You guys have snow & ice in Texas – while up here yesterday was a balmy 50-something. At first I thought she was just being kind to make up for the hellacious winter we’ve had – then I heard about this monster storm. I’ve decided that Mother Nature is just mean.
Gigi´s last blog ..If you think this title is boring just wait until you see the postMy ComLuv Profile

11 Joanie Mack February 3, 2011 at 7:02 am

I remember those days. Now I’m enjoying my empty nest. One day, you, too, will have an empty nest. And when you think you miss having the kids around, think back on February 2, 2011.
Joanie Mack´s last blog ..Ice- Ice Baby!My ComLuv Profile

12 Beth February 3, 2011 at 9:44 am

Ughh! Several snow days in a row sounds terrifying! And why do girls like to change so much?………….oh, yeah, gives us Mom’s something to do on snow days (more laundry!). Hang in there!
Beth´s last blog ..The Valentines Day DilemnaMy ComLuv Profile

13 Sprite's Keeper February 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

Funny. We do the same thing on hurricane days, even the attempts to go outside. Only we add bungee cords or else we’d never find our way back.
Sprite’s Keeper´s last blog ..Pretend its December 26th just humor meMy ComLuv Profile

14 Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels February 4, 2011 at 4:16 am

Come over. It’s not much warmer here, but there’s Swiss chocolate.

I bet the guy in Shining would have mellowed out if only someone had force-fed him some Lindt.

15 Living the Balanced Life February 4, 2011 at 7:53 am

Stiletto Mom,
I don’t believe I have ever visited your blog before, although I follow you on twitter. I wish I had come here sooner, I can always use a good laugh. I am way on the serious side, so I need someone to interject some laughter into my not-so-happy days.
I can feel you on the snow/ice days thing. We are in GA, and don’t get them too often, usually only a day at a time. This year we had a week. Except my issue is not little kids stuck at home, it is 18 and 20 year olds bugging me to death to *please* let them go out and drive! Finally one got picked up in a 4 wheel drive by an experienced adult driver who took her away for an entire day of riding 4 wheelers and sledding.
The dogs, thats another story. We have rain now, lots of rain. And younger dog won’t walk or potty on wet grass/leaves. Crazy thing does his business on the gravel driveway.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with duct tape. Didn’t you ever watch McGyver?
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life´s last blog ..A break from our regularly scheduled programming…My ComLuv Profile

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