Breaking In The New Boss

Not sure if I told you this but New Boss quit a few months ago…which makes him Old Boss…and now I have another New Boss, which I guess makes him “Newer Boss” which in turn makes the entire thing too confusing to grapple with so let’s just stick with calling him New Boss until the shine wears off.

Still with me?    Bravo….I almost lost myself on that one.

Anywho, when Old Boss quit after that unfortunate shoe incident where he earned my undying love I was pretty upset.  But then New Boss showed up and he is  fantabulous.    Personable, smart and thank God he has a sense of humor.   Admittedly, I was skeptical at first.   I mean, how could he be as cool as Old Boss?   How could we have that same type of relationship where I feel like I can say anything and not risk having an HR intervention?   How do you break the ice?

Two words:   Enema and Douche.

Confused?  Stay with me…I promise this is going somewhere.

Last week when New Boss was in town on calls with me for the very first time, I received two requests for advertising  proposals.   One for  an all natural enema and one for feminine cleansing products.     Honestly, not a big deal right?   Ordinarily, no…it would not be.  I’m an adult (sometimes) and these are products the American public needs every once  in a while .

Except….the request for the enema product called for us to target the gay community when they were searching for information regarding intimacy.    And I’m totally fine with that, you know? Except when I have to explain it to a superior.

So New Boss is all, so what?  You just look for people seeking health content, right?   And I sort of squirmed around a little bit and then said, “Well, yes but it goes a bit further than that if you will.”    And New Boss is still looking at me not unlike Old Boss when I had to explain the difference between Shoes and Choos…and I am dying a million tiny deaths because this is a little stickier of a situation to explain, if you get my drift.   So finally I bust out with, “It’s sort of…you know….to clean the pipes before you get the party started?”

And then I died.

Thankfully, he was totally on board with my whole “Gay is Okay” agenda and not only rolled with it, he even got a laugh out of my email to my client in which I stated, “Our proposal clears out the waste and zeros in on the Sweet Spot!”

Advertising can be fun some days.

Just as I was getting over that little chuckle, the next request came through, this time for feminine cleansing products….or as we call it, douche.

There is funny and then there is overkill.

So now at work, I am known as the girl who helps the gay American public clean out the pipes and the women of this country avoid the stank.

What can I say?  My job is awesome.   And I can happily tell you that no HR intervention was required this week.

We shall see what this next week brings….


  1. Lawyer Mom says:

    You always educate me, Stiletto! And I bet you’ve got one enormously grateful New Boss on your hands or . . . shoes, too. I would have had no CLUE!

  2. I never knew enemas could be a part of foreplay. Good to know.

  3. Irish Gumbo says:

    Lead the charge, my dear! Probably more value added than most of us ever really know :)

  4. Remember those ads asking about having that ‘No so fresh feeling’? And we all snickered? Well, this is because either you didn’t snicker and were like ‘yah, whatever’ or you were doing the super snicker dance. Y’know that saying that you’re not given anything you can’t handle? Proof positive the gal upstairs (yes, I think G-D is a woman. How else do you explain all the cute shoes?) is totally in on all the jokes.

    Look for that invite to the gay porn awards in your inbox any day now! And when you go, tell Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho I said “heeeeeyyyyy!”

  5. Ah, the advertising biz. It’s all glamour, isn’t it?

    Congrats on the new boss. They aren’t all good, trust me … the husband actually recently left a job after 3 months after receiving a lemon of a boss. I didn’t even work there and I was traumatized by his angry, alcoholic dad persona …

  6. I’m still stuck on the term “natural enema.” Isn’t that an oxymoron?
    Glad the new boss is as cool as the old-new-boss!

  7. That’s more entertaining than my new job.

  8. The Mother says:

    Is it not the advertising agency’s job to sell us products we don’t really need, in ad spots aimed at specific groups that don’t really need them, but convince them they do?

    And sex–that’s an ad agency standard. So you’ve got both covered from the get-go.

  9. the mayor says:

    That’s a lot to ask from any woman, breaking in 2 new bosses in a short period of time. Man o man woman.

  10. Weezy says:

    You go girl!

  11. FoN says:

    Wow, your job IS awesome. And if I ever have a contraceptive device or colostomy bag to peddle, I’m totally calling you.

  12. Bobbi says:

    I’m so glad I don’t have to come up with catchy tag lines as part of my job.
    I don’t think I’m that clever.

  13. I’d come to give green light with you one this subject. Which is not something I typically do! I love reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!


  1. [...] here’s the best part…I didn’t even know I applied!    I still have the old job with New Boss, you know, the one that actually pays the bills.    This is a second job of sorts and it really [...]

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