I can’t believe we are two weeks into school already. I can’t believe I have a son in Junior High. Most of all, I can’t believe we’ve made it this far without completely falling apart before school even started.
Of course there were some near misses, the first of which happened on “Meet Your Locker” night which very nearly gave me a heart attack.
Let me preface all this by saying we have never had a child in Junior High so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Also, I’d like to add that back in the Dark Ages when I went to school, a locker was just that, a locker. Apparently in the brave new world a locker is no longer a utilitarian device meant solely for holding books. No, now it is more of a fashion statement.
I couldn’t be there that night so The Man was in charge of “introducing” Mr. C to his locker. About an hour after it started, I texted him to see how it was going, I mean really…how long can it take? It was then that I realized I had totally discounted how important this locker thing really is:
“We are going to be here FOREVER waiting for the locker above his to get decorated.”
WHOA…. Decorated? I frantically texted back asking for details on what we had missed. I asked if Mr. C thought we were the worst parents in the history of the world for not knowing this important fact. I was finally reassured that we hadn’t missed out on much, we just needed to add a few sports stickers, shelves, a white board and a pencil holder…and that this incident would not be one of the many he will undoubtedly share with his psychiatrist years from now.
It turns out the boys lockers aren’t that big of a deal. It’s the girls lockers that are causing me to break out in hives. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this:
Thank God I’m only dealing with a boy this year because I am not crafty enough to come up with anything remotely that cute. That blue stuff on the bottom? Is shag carpet….I kid you not. There are even rumors circulating about a locker that not only has pink shag carpet but a chandelier as well. Totally serious.
So for next year, I’ll know that prior to school I need to get some very basic things for Mr. C’s locker which will allow him to be organized and able to access everything he needs. And I’ll also be spying on all the girls locker themes knowing that in a mere three years, I’ll be the one shopping for shag carpet and chandeliers.
::sigh::
This post was sponsored by the good people at Target!
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Are you kidding me? That just sounds ridiculous. If this is going on now, what is going to be going on in 4 years when my Littleman goes to Junior High? Will he need a friggin’ electronic voice messaging service?
These kids…..
Yes, I realize I just said that, I guess I should start heading to the 4pm early bird special.
wow. seriously?! When I was in 7th-12th grade our lockers were so small we could barely fit our winter coats in them, let alone shelves and carpeting! Even if they could have been decorated, I can really only picture one or two people who would have done it!
You know the worst part is when the lease is up and you have to primer the entire thing gunmetal gray to get it ready for the next tenant.
They don’t do that (expletive deleted) at the high school where I, until last week, taught. So, um, maybe it’s an isolated thing?!
When I went to school. Which was during the Roman Empire if you went in the Dark Ages. We were not allowed to decorate our lockers. The admin were afraid we’d be able to hide drugs in the shag carpet. And, we totally would have. Green shag looks surprising like pot.
Are you kidding me????? When I was in school, ours were not only far too tiny to decorate – they wouldn’t even hold our stuff! We ended up sharing (illicitly, of course) because 9 times out of 10 ours were too far aways from our classes! One year, I recall having “three” lockers….
Kids today are spoiled rotten!
Geez…here I was thinking I was the shizznit for having a beer tap in locker.
What? I was thirsty!
I remember decoration my locker but it sure as hell didn’t looking like that girl’s! If I had thought to put shag carpeting on the bottom you can bet I would’ve!
will you get target to sponsor my posts? because then i might be encouraged to actually write one.
More micro-parenting, school-managing, is all I can say (no offense to you, of course). When I was in junior high (and high school), we got a standard-issue metal locker and that was that. Stickers, pictures, and anything else were strictly forbidden.
Those were the days, my friend. I wish they’d never ended.
Way back in the early 80s we didn’t worry about lockers- we went to schools in caves. At least that is what I tell my kids and the sad thing is, they believe it.
This is not a new thing.
In 1988, I won an award for the best decorated locker. I shared this locker with my BFF Lisa and we spend an entire afternoon decorating it with contact paper and pictures of ourselves.
If I was still in contact with Lisa…we would totally be in love with the shag carpet idea and pissed we didn’t think of it.
Growing up very blue collar, we always had to share lockers. Being Yankees meant by the time we got coats, gloves,boots in there, no room left for any other nonsense.
For special sports weeks we decorated the outsides.
Can mom’s get a locker with a shag pile and chandelier if we participate in the PTA?
Out here we only have very heavy school-bags, well-decorated school bags.
Uh…wow.
*chalks another point up in the ‘homeschooling’ column*
Whoa, what!??! Seriously? Thank god my son is still in grade school – and Pixie is not into kindergarten until next fall. Maybe by the time they get to Junior High things will have swung back to the “utilitarian” look.
chandeliers?!
holy crap.
their lockers are nicer than my apartments have been.
is that bad?
Thank goodness our middle school doesn’t have the fashion flair to decorate like that! Last year I found some cute magnets and post-its w/ puppies on them and thought Katie would like them. Well, within 3 days the magnets were stolen and the post-its were all used up.
That’s it! I’m done.
This year she’s going to have to shop/hold down guard-duty all on her own.
4726648 beers on the wall.
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