Dear Dr. Smile, You Make Me Terribly Unhappy
Yeah, so I sort of fell of the face of the earth last week…not shocking given my propensity for diappearing for a week or so at a time though, right? I can explain.
It started Wednesday, a little tickle in my nose, some sneezing during the day, a general feeling of “Meh”. By Wednesday night, I had morphed into full on “kill me now honey before I sneeze and snee myself one more time….” (He didn’t take me up on it fearing jail time, though at the time I’m sure it sounded at least a little tempting.) I finally put myself to bed around 10:00 and woke up at 3:30 am with my throat swollen shut.
Because I am a five year old trapped in a 44 year old womans body the only thing that was going to make me happy at this un-Godly hour was an Orange sugar free Popsicle. Dragged myself to the kitchen, stared blearily into the freezer only to find an empty box mocking me. No popsicles. Just a box…laughing at me. I blew my nose a few times, sneezed some more, possibly cried a few tears of self pity, took a Benadryl and went back to bed. I drifted off around 4:00 am cursing those adorable little people I call my children for torturing me so and leaving me Popsicle-less.
You can imagine what went through my mind when I heard the familiar ping of my iPhone letting me know I had received a text at 4:14 am. I sat bolt upright in bed and then marched back to the kitchen wondering if somehow Tiger Woods has mistaken my number and added me to his ever growing list of texting buddies.
Turns out it wasn’t Tiger (who I could have made some money from), it was my dentist (who wanted money from me). Witness:
You know, okay…I’ll admit that perhaps I have neglected my choppers as of late. I’ve been busy with work. And then some more work. And after that? More work. I’m just going to go on the record here and say that perhaps 8:14 am might have been a more appropriate time, or 9:14, or 10:14 or…you get my drift.
So Thursday am as I lay in bed trying to breathe, I began my personal jihad to find out exactly who at his office thought this was a good idea. After about 10 attempts to get through, I finally got a live human somewhere around 10:00.
Her: Good Morning! Dr. Smiles office, how may I help you?
TSM: I’d like the office manager please. ::ah-choo!::
Her: Goodness, you don’t sound good.
TSM: You think? (blowing nose for extra classy effect)
Her: Well, I’m the office manager, how may I help you?
TSM: I’d like to know which one of you is the marketing genius that sent me a text message at 4:14 am.
Her: Oh my, did that happen to you? ::giggle giggle::
TSM: No, I’m making this up because I have nothing better to do. ::cough cough::
Her: Well, we’ve hired a company to do our texts and obviously that was a mistake.
TSM: Obviously.
Her: You should be glad you weren’t with the group of people who got texted at 3:00 am the day before! ::snicker::
TSM: There is always a silver lining isn’t there?
Her: Well, we are sorry. So would you like to book that appointment now?
TSM: Excuse me?
Her: I said (because I truly sounded like something might be seriously wrong with me) we are sor-ry. Would you like to book your ap-point-ment now.
TSM: Take my name off the list immediately, the next text I get, I’m tracking you and Dr. Smile down at home and calling you to let you know how unhappy I really am. Try me lady.
Click.
I spent the rest of the week in a Benadryl haze, sleeping with my mouth hanging open as I dozed on the sofa making gurgling sounds. (I like to make sure you get the full picture so you feel sorry for The Man…because you really should…it was not pretty.)
So tell me, think it’s time for me to find a new dentist? Or should I just pay back the favor and text him at 4:14 am? Maybe both…
You have to admit, it was a good marketing ploy. They KNEW you would call, you did, which was what they wanted in the first place!
I get Dr. Smile texts, too, and I have to say, they make me angry, as well, except the reason they make me mad is that there have been some years when Dr. Smile’s texts have been the only ones near me who has wished me a happy birthday!
P.S. – After the virus I had last winter, I live in fear of the dreaded snee!
Heck yeah get a new dentist (unless you love the dentist).
But better yet I think you need to book an appointment and then do your best googling/spying ever and find out his/her home number. Then the morning before your scheduled appointment PHONE HIM/HER at HOME at 4.15 am to cancel the appointment
Oh dear – hope you’re feeling better… To get on your bad side while you’re not feeling well? Not a good idea Dr. Smile…
Well, first of all, they do not deserve your business. Period. I hope they are all losing tons of customers over this. If their idea is to wake you up, irritate you, and get you to call…and get you to make that appointment…I hope it fails more times than it works. It would NOT work with me.
Second, this is why I try to avoid giving out my cell phone number. I don’t like the idea that anyone who has it can reach me pretty much anytime. Now, all I have is a cell phone, having given up my land line, but I never put my cell phone number in the cell phone column…I just write it as a home phone number, or I use my fake telephone number that’s actually real that you can get online for free for people to leave you messages. I have one that I give out to strangers that I really don’t want to have my number. Maybe I’ll start giving it to my dentist.
Third, if I had the time (and, as a mother, I don’t), I’d send this post to your newspaper and TV stations and the BBB…and send a note to the dentist, telling them you’ve done so…just to irritate them.
And, finally–and most importantly–I hope you are feeling MUCH better soon!
I think you should find out the dentist’s home address, then ding-dong-ditch him at 4:14 am.
And switch dentists.
Hope you are feeling better! What happen to mailing out the postcard reminders??? I would be pissed I agree door bell ditch both the office manager and dentist!!
Want me to bring you an orange popsicle?
Yes, sleeping a.m. hours are NOT the time for a dental office to send text messages. That said, the bone-headed office manager did NOTHING to help her cause.
I’m gettin’ outa hear quick before the “anti-dentist” lynching-mob-commenters get me!
I can’t believe companies are now texting their “cold calls.” You have got to love that they are sending them at all hours of the day and night.
Inappropriate on the part of the company they hired and totally inappropriate of the office manager to snicker then try to set up an appointment. I’d call the dentist personally and nicely tell him/her that the behavior of the office manager about the hour in which you were called has lead you to take your business elsewhere. Let them know that this is a marketing plan gone awry.
I hope this week is better than last.
They deserve any type of revenge you can think of, maybe come at them with a multi-layer campaign of your own.
If the first response for a client is anger, then they are way off the track.
Get better soon!
I like the idea of texting their entire office at 4am. I think I would have blown a gasket at the first “snicker” – why would anyone think it is okay to laugh at that!!
I had the snee and the coughee thing happening to me when I was so sick a couple of weeks ago. It was almost the worst thing about being sick! Hope you are feeling better!
Eeek! I get e-mails from all sorts of places–like Pottery Barn, Overstock, JCrew, my bank, etc.–at ALL hours. I have learned now to put my phone on silent, or I hear dings all night long. Sorry that you are not well. I just had a THREE week cold. Convinced that I had AIDS. But now I am well.
Sending you good wishes and a Happy Bitchmas!
I wouldn’t scrap a great dentist for a bad texting service.
But I would launch loud complaints.
You told off the annoying woman who manages the dentist’s office while you were sick.
Hang on – I’m hunting down a medal for you. You so rawk.
I admire your gumption for confronting them. You’re my hero.
Aargh! It reminds me of that time that Barack Obama texted me at 3am to tell me he had picked Biden as his running mate. Dude! I will watch the news in the morning, geez.
Hope you’re feeling better!
I think you can let the dentist off the hook since you know he had absolutely nothing to do with the text – Doctors can’t be bothered with the daily running of their business. however, the rude office manager who spoke to you like a mental incompetant because you were sneezing (which last I checked did not terribly affect intelligence) should be texted repeatedly during the wee hours. Ask her if she really see s a difference between being texted at 3 am and at 4:14 am. Bceause to me they are both too damn early.
glad you are feeling better!
Okay. That’s it. I’ve got the dentist for you — will give you # next week. There is no excuse for midnight robo-texts generated by an out-sourced geek squad. None whatsoever. Worse, though, was their attitude when you called them out on it.
Oh, and my dentist doesn’t even make robo calls, much less texts — just a friendly reminder phone call the day before my appointment, from a live human being, between the hours of 9 and 5.
A hex on Dr. Smiles.
Ew I’d say her attitude the next day was the worst. Reminds me of the time a business near us a long time ago used a blower at 5:00 a.m. Hubs found out the home number of the owner and called him the next night to let him hear it. Good times.
I can’t believe the office manager had the nerve to giggle at you while you were irate. I would’ve driven down there and throttled her!
If it happens again, call the office and have Dr. Smiles paged for an “emergency” so he gets awakened only to be told you need to make or cancel an appointment.
that’s a tough one.
oh i would kill someone for that!!!
Reminds me of when I got an obscene phone call repeatedly one evening.It freaked me out since my husband travels . My brother in law who’s an overnight truck driver, took the number and called him every 30 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG. That felt very good indeed
The mayor your BIL sounds like a great guy to have on your team
) Love it.
You handled that much better than I would’ve… I gotta tell you about the girls’ pediatrician sometime. Call at 4:14
Hope you feel better.
Is there some reason you can’t turn your phone off at night?
Dear Toolbox;
Tried to email you but it bouced back. To answer your question, yes, I suppose I could turn my phone off at night…however..there are a couple of reasons it didn’t happen. The first of which is general disorganization which I suffer from. The second is the coedine cough syrup I was on coupled with aforementioned disorganization. Really, it’s all just one big train wreck.
It ain’t easy bein’ me…
xo
TSM