UGH

This week? Not so much. And it’s only Tuesday. I am doomed.

Let’s start with Monday when both kids stayed home sick, but they weren’t really sick.

Let me explain.

On Sunday, Mr. C awoke complaining of general neck pain and had a fever of 100 degrees. Down he went for the day and he could not go to school the next day. Upon awakening Monday, The Man took Miss G’s temperature only to find it slightly raised at exactly 99 degrees as well. Both kids, home for the day, AWESOME.

Except, except…Mr. C’s temperature had disappeared overnight and an hour later so had Miss G’s. It wasn’t the Swine Flu we feared, it was more of a Poultry Cold as best I can tell. So basically, it was a vacation day for them because The Man and I adhere to the regulations the CDC has set forth about fever….and I would like to fly to Atlanta to kick their asses right about now.

Both kids morphed into warring hellions and spent the entire day fighting. At the end of the day The Man and I dreamed of wrapping them in blankets and leaving them on a kindly neighbors front porch for adoption, although that would get us in trouble with CPS, and since we are such rule followers of the CDC…well, we just couldn’t go there. Tempting as it was. Because we? Are a couple of rule following pansies.

But then there was today. Huge proposal due for a client for all of their 2010 advertising and of course, it went down to the wire trying to come up with crafty solutions for all of you wonderful consumers to purchase their tasty products. (Which they are, really.) At the end of the day, after two days of hell and about to collapse on my keyboard, Mr C comes in and tells me he has to draft a play about rock formations.

Rock formations.

At 5:30.

Really.

So I have spent the past hour helping him to write a play wherein Rock White (formerly Snow White, catchy huh?) turns from her present state of a sedimentary rock into an igneous rock through a process of fire courtesy of a pissed off dragon during her wedding (wherein ALL of the dwarves were present…and with speaking roles) to the Prince, who happens to be metamorphic rock.

Still with me? I didn’t think so. And also, I don’t blame you.

Five pages later, with stage direction no less, we are in possession of what may be one of the greatest plays ever written.

Exit stage right. Trust me, run….

The great news is, I can add playwright to my *cough cough* impressive resume as a writer.

So I’ve got that going for me.

Long story short, my brain has now turned into a igneous rock itself, and quite frankly, I need a drink.

Anyone want to join me?