A sure sign that the school year is in full swing is when the ridiculous projects start. Judging by this week, we are well into the thick of it.
What are we working on, you ask? Therein lies the problem dear reader…I have no idea.
It all started Monday night when at 9:00 Mr. C casually mentioned his friends had given him some money for a poster board that apparently was his responsibility to get to school. To me, this statement does not hint in any way, shape or form that there may be a school project involved so since it was 9:00 on a Monday Night…during Monday Night Football…with The Cowboys playing…I did what any good Mom would do and I totally blew him off. Because I’m awesome like that.
Imagine our surprise to get a frantic phone call from him in the middle of the day yesterday telling us he needed that poster board right that very minute for a very important school project.
That is the kind of information that would have been helpful at 9:00 on a Monday night. But we aren’t done yet…not by a long shot.
Last night, while The Man was on solo kid duty, Mr. C informs him that he now is in need of miniature Indians for this poster board that we still don’t quite know what is going on with. Having learned from our previous transgression of not getting the poster board at 9:00 at night, The Man dragged both kids to Hobby Lobby in search of Indians and lifelike surroundings. Forty dollars worth of Indians and lifelike surroundings. Since we are getting all our information for this mystery project in bits and pieces and always at night, by the time The Man got to Hobby Lobby there had apparently been a run on all the “cheap” Indians and lifelike surroundings and his only choice was the creme de la creme of miniatures.
Here is what forty bucks will get you in American Indian history:
Trust me when I tell you, I am very interested in seeing what comes home at the end of the week.
Special thanks to The Mother from Mother’s Handbook and Jan over at Jan’s Sushi Bar who gave me the idea to talk about crazy school projects. Also, you guys should know they are both mothers of college/high school aged kids and I’m pretty sure they are laughing at me, not with me, right about now.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Laugh? Not me. Nope, uh-uh.
*snicker*
I can’t wait to hear what Mr. C needs you to buy him tonight!
My oldest always seems to be the kid who volunteers to provide the really expensive 3-fold poster board type stuff. I’m all, “Why are we constantly funding these group projects!!” “Next time tell your group that your mom has contributed enough and it’s someone else’s turn to fork over some cash-ola!!!” (foaming at mouth and son says ok and quickly backs out of room).
So wow, $40??!?
Just think you’ll have lots of stuff for when Miss G neglects to tell you about a project.
You’re nice parents to buy miniature Indians. My parents used to tell us to dress up our Lego people. My Lego people built the Great Pyramids.
The Girl’s fourth grade teacher doesn’t seem the project type, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I was, however, on the phone with my sister last night and my nephew, who is in 7th grade (and probably hadn’t spoken to her all day, until she got on the phone, but that’s a subject for another day), tells her that he needs an idea for a science project. She told him that she’d discuss it with him when she got off the phone, but he apparently stood there staring at her, so it soon became a three way conversation about the science project.
My sister: what type of project is it?
Nephew: it has to be about something that is better than something else.
My sister: what?
Nephew: you know, one thing is better than the other.
My sister: okaaaaay . . .
Me to my sister: Does he need to compare like things, figure out which is better than the other? I think “Neice” (our brother’s daughter) had to do this a couple of years ago and she compared laundry detergents. Tested two brands on the same stains to see which worked better.
My sister: I don’t know, he walked away. I’ll make him call her.
Me: Have him do laundry detergent, that way you can kill two birds with one stone and teach him how to use the washing machine at the same time.
This just gave me a flashback to 7th grade, when I built an entire Iroquois village out of sugar cubes – surely much cheaper than all those bags of Native American “Scene Setters”.
BTW, lovely manicure!
Interested in seeing what comes home? Hell, I’d wanna be there when he gives the presentation! With all the investment, you’re the silent partner!
Wow, you DID get the cream of the miniature Indian crop!
I am cracking up over here.
Tatonka!
WOW! Who knew you could get people to buy small sticks in cardboard and plastic packaging! Were they selling dirt in similar packaging as well? Pure genius.
All I can think of is “Night at the Museum”! Tell Mr. C you’ll lock him in a closet with those miniatures if he pulls the midnight project stunt again. ; )
I am laughing only with sympathy. Really.
One of the last kids (I lose track) had to do a diorama for theater arts in high school. I spent an hour going from one craft store to another trying to find a kerosene lamp so he could use it to demonstrate lighting.
That was the last shoebox used. Thank goodness.
Can I sell you some really small but lifelike fake buffalo poop?
I hope you will be posting pictures of the tiny Indian project!
And you should send a note to the teacher that you spent 40 bucks on that stuff and 40 bucks deserves an A.
Dude – he gets formed people? I had to make my people for my u.s. history project – needless to say, my soldiers and Indians and all other people were a bit hulkish looking – i so totally wish my parents bought me ready made figurines…so not fair!!
oh God, oh God, do I dread those. I am sooooooo not crafty and I literally would rather sit there and figure out anything mathematical than make something out of two tiny animals humping each other inside a plastic container.
If I can’t make it out of Lego or grilled cheese my kids are on their own.
Poor baby Indians!!
Just last week I threw away no less than 3 black sheets of construction paper that *I* was apparently expected to make a family collage on for my 5yo’s kindergarten class.
I have no time for such projects. Let him draw some stick figures and tell them we are on a witness relocation program.
How did you explain the Native American orgy those indians looked like they were having in the bag?
I detest school projects. If the kids cannot do it themselves with what’s in the cupboard….forget about it. ( I do keep poster board here and foam board, I’m not totally unreasonable).
OMG…I laughed so loud at Tatonka up there because I just watched Dances With Wolves a couple weekends ago when it was on TV. In fact, it was on when I got up that morning, and I think it finally ended by the time I went to bed. Either that or I got confused by the commercial break and drifted up to sleep. Anyway…
You have my sympathies. Seriously. Two weeks ago, my kid said he didn’t have any homework. I know this is impossible, so I went online to his academic team newsletter and found out he had to make a 3D model of an animal or plant cell. By the following Tuesday!! We, too, spent 40 bucks on modeling clay, glue, wire, gauze, paint. The list was endless! He got an A+ on it, and I told him to bring it home so I can put it in storage for the next five years until my youngest comes home not knowing he has to make a 3D model of a plant or animal cell (except, dammit, the teacher loved it so much he’s kept the damn thing!!)!
It’s all a conspiracy. Interview your child’s teacher in the first week. If they were raised by two caring lovable parents keep them if they were not switch. Here is the thing with school projets. The secret is these teachers who were products of divorced parens, hippies, dysfunctional households, orphans, runaways, psychos, alcoholics, etc. think that our children are deprived of their parent’s attention like they were so they assign projects. The other half of teachers are just too lazy to read or decispher our kids writting on book reports or subject reports. The next time he has a project send a letter or note early on to the teacher stating the times and dates that you see your kids and spend time with them and excuse them from the project. Then for the ones who decline remind them they got to spend time with their parents when they had to drive to the library in the station wagon, check out a book, read it, and write a report on it. Then the parents sat down or the child called a freind to read it with them. See we all win. Our child gets the attention they so richly deserve. The other way you could solve the problem is choose a teacher with old school 50ish age range who does not like to change.
Next time shop at Walmart and you will not have to be creative on how you repackage them just keep the receipt. Good Luck!
For the stuff you bought at the store use that creative Mr. C to close those packages back up ater you used them and return them to the store.