I’m A White Trash Mom

It’s true. The sad thing is, I didn’t know it until recently. I had no idea I belonged to a group of people who are just like me until I got a chance to read “White Trash Mom” by Michelle Lamar.

white trash mom

Here’s the thing, Michelle is a very dear friend of mine. One of the biggest highlights of my entire BlogHer experience was Saturday afternoon when Michelle and I bumped into each other in the lobby and realized we could sneak off to a quiet lunch outside the hotel. We talked for an hour and a half straight about anything and everything. The conversation was punctuated about a million times with “Shut up!” when we realized we had another thing in common. (Daughters with same name? Check. Long career in marketing/advertising? Roger that. Raising our children Catholic? Amen, sister. Owners of almost identical 38 lb pugs? Why yes, we are both proud pug mamas. And no, they aren’t fat, they are just big boned.)

You can imagine how horrible I felt when I told her that even though we have been friends since January when we met at Blissdom, I had yet to read her book. Here’s another thing about Michelle, she is one of the nicest people I’ve been blessed to call a friend throughout this blogging journey of mine and she immediately removed the butter knife from my hands I was trying to commit hari kari with and talked me off my ledge of shame for being such a horrible friend. Before I left for home, I had an autographed copy of “White Trash Mom” to call my own.

I literally devoured this book. I was blown away to learn that all these years, I’ve been a White Trash Mom and I had NO IDEA.

What makes a “White Trash Mom” you ask? Have you ever shown up with store bought goods for the Cake Walk at the school carnival? Have you ever thought to yourself, “If the health department isn’t showing up, the house is clean enough”? Have you ever told your children little white lies like “Chuck E Cheese is only open for birthdays honey!” in an effort to avoid yet another visit to the house of the mouse? Are you fairly sure your actions may very well send your children into therapy years from now?

(I could add here that both of my children have actually left the house without their underwear on and I didn’t know it until we got to our destination but that would be overkill, right?)

If you have answered yes to any of these questions? Congratulations. You are a White Trash Mom too and you just didn’t know it.

Here’s the thing I really loved about this book. It’s the real deal. It’s funny as hell, but it’s serious too. It’s all about being there for your children without making yourself crazy. The title is slightly misleading because throughout this book I learned so much.

I need to be at my kids school more because that matters.
Being a working mom is not a good enough excuse. Every mom is a working mom, I need to step it up.

I need to stop worrying that my son isn’t playing competitive sports because that doesn’t matter.
He has a good heart and he’s happy and smart, that is way more important. (Side note: I should also be thankful because the politics involved are ridiculous.) That kid will leave a mark in this world and that is what matters in the end.

My daughters antics are not a sign of future disaster.
They are a sign of her independence. She is strong and smart and funny and people are drawn to her. I need to embrace that.

There are millions of books out there about parenting babies and toddlers. White Trash Mom helps you see a clear picture of dealing with elementary and junior high kids and politics in an age of competitive parenting and gives you some helpful tips to navigating the waters successfully while maintaining your sanity.

So go buy the book. You can buy it here or here. Or you can visit her her website here. Join us in our White Trash glory. Buy it, take it out from the library, whatever. It will get your mind in the right place before school starts plus give you some helpful hints to navigating the year ahead.

(One last side note: This is not a paid post. Nor would I recommend a book just because she is my friend. I really liked it and I’d never recommend something to you guys that I didn’t enjoy…because you know, I LOVE YOU AND STUFF.)

Now it’s your turn, tell me your White Trash Mom moment….come on….you know you have one! Where have you taken shortcuts? What funny stories do you have? Don’t be selfish..share!

I promise, I won’t tell a soul….

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28 Comments


  1. Becky said:

    Hi, my name is Becky and I’m a White Trash Mom. Greetings, sisters! I’ll be back later with more, but the first thing that comes to my mind is that, the other day I was taking my three year-old to visit a prospective preschool, and when I was getting him out of the car, I noticed his Crocs were very dirty. The only thing I had handy were those Armor-All car wipes. I thought, “Those will work great on Crocs.” They did. And then I noticed that his knees were kind of grubby. The car wipes worked great on his knees too. Then I confess I got yet another wipe and gave his shirt an Armor-All treatment. If I could have Ziebarted him, I would’ve.

    Great post! I am totally gonna get this book. I love that it focuses on older kids. I’m entering that world and it is a wilderness.

  2. Captain Dumbass said:

    Hi, my name is Chad and I’m totally not answering this because I don’t want to be a white trash mom even though I’m pretty sure I could fit into some of these categories so I’m going to go turn on ESPN.

  3. The Peach Tart said:

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll check it out.

  4. Laufa said:

    Hmm, there is so many. I always thought that the Mom’s that took their kids to the grocery story with only a diaper on were WTM. Then I come home to my Mother watching my daughter and she tells me that she went to the store and she didn’t put any clothes on my girl, just went. AHH!! So it is in the genes. You should collect all the comments and write a sequal.

  5. Middle-Aged-Woman said:

    Chad is lying. He’s totally a white trash mom. My WTM moment is when my kid first slept through the night. I woke up at six and worried she was dead! Then I realized, that if she was , it was too late to do anything about it, but if she was just sleeping, I SURE wasn’t gonna go in there and wake her up! It worked for an hour, then I had to check on her. And I woke her up.

  6. Amo said:

    My kid walked around for 7 days with a broken ankle and is now laying on my couch in a full-leg cast.

    Does that count?

    What if I added that I had to soak his feet in dish soap before the trip to the dr’s office because they were so dirty I couldn’t just wipe them clean…

  7. abdpbt said:

    I think I might be a white trash mom. When we’re putting Mini down and he asks for Daddy, I tell him if he puts his head on the pillow and he’s just very quiet Daddy will come in right away. And then he doesn’t.

    I’m starting slow because he’s only 2, but give me time, people.

  8. Sprite's Keeper said:

    I have used my shirt to clean my daughter’s nose in a pinch while in line at the grocery so we wouldn’t have to drop EVERYTHING.
    There’s more, but this may be monitored..
    I am constantly forgetting to put wipes in the car or diaper bag even though I am one of those listmaking planners everyone hates.
    That’s all, I think.
    Oh, wait!
    Ooh, that one may not be good to tell..

  9. Jett said:

    I have long said that if I raise my children to be economically viable enough to afford therapy, then I have done my job.

  10. La Petite Belle said:

    I have always thought so low of WTM’s. Until today, when I realized I am one. ha! Great post.

  11. Christine said:

    I am for sure a white trash mom. ExhibitA: earlier today I washed my floors while my boys were playing outside. It’s so rare for us to have clean floors that when one son wanted to come inside to use the bathroom, I told him to stay outside and pee in the woods behind our house.

  12. Closed Caption said:

    Anytime something breaks, I either use duct tape, glue, nails or staples to fix it. It works everytime…that is until my wife rolls her eyes and says to go buy a new one! Does this qualify?

  13. tuesday said:

    I will tell you my favorite white trash food: hamburger helper! original only though!

  14. pamela said:

    Oh, WTM, I am thee. Let me count the ways…

  15. Laurin (@LaurinEvans) said:

    You sold me on getting this book. Of course I’ve heard of it, but you made it come alive!

    I’m a WTM because I can clean my kitchen floor in a pinch with a baby wipe on each foot. That totally counts.

  16. Michele said:

    I too am a WTM. Want proof. My nephew from the Dominican Republic said I dressed my children like peons. They were wearing their school clothes.

  17. Amber said:

    Oh, I’m totally a white trash mom.

  18. Michelle -WhiteTrashMom said:

    Just so y’all know that my book and blog name are absolutely true, I’ve been on a girlfriend getaway, drinking gallons of wine and was away from the net for TWO DAYS. Sorry I did not see the post until now and I am so honored and pleased you liked it.
    In the words of Wayne and Garth, from the Oscar winning WAYNE’S WORLD movie:
    I”m not worthy! I’m not worthy!

  19. vodkamom said:

    If you mix your vodka with soda, and do your back to school shopping at Walmart, does that make you a WTM??

    I think so.

  20. Carolyn Online said:

    Darn. All this time I’ve been making fun of my redneck in-laws and it turns out I’m white trash. Super.

    My kids took ONE bath in the month of July because they spent so much time in the pool we just called it clean.

  21. Connie @ Young and Relentless said:

    First of all…I am RE-formed White Trash. 12 years ago I won a halloween contest for being White Trash and I was just me…but a little trashier.

    But I’m slipping….last weekend I gave my daughter a chocolate covered espresso bean, and yesterday my son urinated in the yard.

    Thanks for the book recommendation…you’ve never steered me wrong. :)

  22. jessica said:

    Um, I had no idea that store bought cake was white trash so I guess, Yup I am white trash CUBED!

  23. bex said:

    is it white trash if your child leaves the house without underwear on and you KNOW it?

  24. class factotum said:

    your child leaves the house without underwear

    I don’t have kids, but if I don’t always wear underwear myself (panty lines!) does that make me white trash? Or just practical?

  25. Steely Dad said:

    Is it cool to share a White Trash Dad tip? After the kids’ underwear have been worn once, save on laundry time by turning them inside-out. Now instead of getting 20 wears per pair you’re potentially doubling it to 40.

  26. the mayor said:

    Let’s see: Year ago I took our labador to school for show and tell. I couldn’t find a leash so I tied an extension cord around her neck. I often go without undies myself depending on the situation. I think the White Trash model is just a practical method of completing tasks in an efficient manner.
    Everyone should want to join our club.

  27. Jim Styro said:

    I guess I’m a WTD – cause I’m pretty sure while the Middle-Aged Woman was trying to rationalize the whole “don’t wake up the dead ” thing, I was trying to jump her bones.

    Don’t worry – I don’t remember being successful. That should qualify me as a WTD, for sure!

  28. The Lawyer Mom said:

    Hmm. It wasn’t my first white trash moment, but I had a memorable one when the tooth fairy FORGOT to visit Mr. M one night. He’d lost a tooth at a friend’s house and she’d left him a “token” gift, waiting for him to settle in on top of his REAL pillow for the REAL deal.

    Oh, and then there were all the times I gave Mr. M “gourmet lemon water.” One day he’d had enough. “Mom, can I have some lemon water with the gore, but without any may?”

    Stiletto, this was a great post.

    Now dagnabbit, bring me that book when you guys pop over next month. It sounds so good, I’ll inhale it in sixty seconds flat.


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