My next door neighbor recently built a koi pond in their side yard. I like koi fish. A great deal in fact. Better than most fish, which I only enjoy sauteed with a lovely lemon and caper sauce.
However, these fish are pissing me off.
For reasons unknown to me, my neighbors have decided to play an endless loop of LOUD SPA MUSIC in their yard which is filtering into ours. I don’t know why. Perhaps it is to calm the koi? To create an environment? These must be some stressed out fish.
For three days this has been going on. The first night I was all, “How nice…they are enjoying a lovely night on their porch…”.
This next morning, I thought, “Hmmm…perhaps they forgot to turn it off?”
The following evening, the realization has set in that they have no plans of turning this off.
And I’m going to lose my mind.
They are playing three songs, just three, on an endless loop. The first involves harp music. The second involves some type of tribal horn only found in the nethermost regions of Africa. The third involves some type of Beluga Whale mating sound usually unheard by the human ear. Though I do need to lose
a few several pounds, I am no Beluga Whale and this music? Is not helping my love life at all.
Here’s the thing. I like spa music. WHEN I’M IN A SPA. Spa music while I’m yelling at my kids to not drown each other in the pool? NOT SO MUCH. There is no one here rubbing hot stones upon my back, there are only two warring hellions at the end of summer throwing rocks at each other. There is no aromatherapy oil being slathered upon my shoulders. There are only two children squirting sun tan oil all over my new cushions Call me crazy, but it just doesn’t mix.
Also? They are not outside. They are inside. Because it is hot. Africa Hot…which almost makes that tribal horn make sense. Hot enough to fry a fish on the pavement.
Wait, I just had an idea….
Update: I’d like you all to know I donned my big girl panties and went next door to address the problem and my neighbors were nothing short of lovely. If nothing else, on this blog I will admit when I’m wrong. Which I am…often.