BlogHer Post #1: Luggage, Wine, Poodles and Cockatoos
Back from BlogHer and OMG do I have stuff to share with you. So much that I don’t even know where to start. I can do one really long post or break this into four smaller ones. Let’s be democratic about this, all if in favor of four smaller posts raise your hand. ::counting:: Okay, good, that’s what I was thinking too…this is why we all get along so well.
Let’s call this: The One Where I Overpack And The Airline Tries To Turn Me Into A Professional Assasin By Losing My Luggage And Also Wherein I Meet The Craziest Woman At All Of BlogHer. (Long title with serious run on tendencies, but I like it so it stays.)
I’m not going to go into a whole lot of detail about the luggage other than to tell you many profanities were uttered at O’Hare airport in the two hours it took them to find my bag, but take a look at this picture and you will understand just how deep the emotial distress was:
Thankfully my roommates, Jen from Sprite’s Keeper and Mary from Unmitigated knew what they were getting into with me and no one was too shocked when I opened up my suitcase and a thousand shiny stilettos came flying out all over the room. Also, upon arriving, Sprite’s Keeper and I were greeted with this lovely gift from Michele at It’s a Dogs Life and I can promise you I have never needed a glass of wine as much as I needed it then…
Now I know you want to know the dirt. And I’m going to give it to you over the next couple of days but it’s going to take a while to process it all. So I’ll share this one story with you for now where I met the craziest woman at BlogHer (and trust me when I tell you that was a very high honor to achieve with some stiff competition).
The first day I was sitting at a table with Mary from Unmitigated, Amy from OutdoorDogs, Jen Lancaster (and if I have to tell you from where, you really should not be here), Cassie Boorn and Mrs. Fussypants herself, Alli Worthingon. We are all sitting there having a great conversation when this woman who clearly had a high dose of the crazy going on walks up and sort of stares at us until we stop talking. To give you a visual, on her head appeared to be something that was a cross between a poodle and a really pissed off cockatoo. We all sort of blinky stared at her for a few moments until she spoke.
Crazy: Are you guys mommy bloggers?
All of Us: Yes. (Well, except Jen who obviously is not and I think was still trying to process her hair…)
Crazy: Do you guys make money?
All of Us: No. (Well, except Jen and once again if I have explain why she is the exception to the rule…you need to leave now.)
Crazy: Then why do you do it?
TSM: Um, because we enjoy it and we all got to be friends through it.
Crazy: Pausing for some thought here as she looks at her food…then: Well, I guess I’ll still sit with y’all.
All of Us: *blink blink*
So we go back to talking and trying to pretend like craziness is not sitting right there with us. (Hello, Uncomfortable…so glad you could join us.) A few minutes later, she fires up again.
Crazy: So you guys really don’t make any money?
All of Us: NO!!!
Crazy: Then why do you do it?
All of Us: *begin collective banging of heads on tables*
Crazy: Y’all must not be doing it right then.
Alli: Excuse me?
Crazy: I said..If you aren’t making any money you must not be doing it right.
Alli: Do you realize you are sitting at the table with Jen Lancaster who is a NYT Best Selling Author of four books?
Crazy: Yeah? Well she didn’t make any money off her blog though….
At which point, Jen quietly got up and excused herself while the rest of us sat there with our mouths hanging open. I cannot make this stuff up people. Bitch be crazy.
Come back soon and I’ll tell about how in 24 hours I managed to have encounters with Carson Kressley, Paula Deen, Mrs. Potato Head and a streaker which truly taught me the meaning of “bad naked”.
…and I have the pictures to prove it, you have been warned.
Aw. I thought you were going to tell us it was that Nancy W. Kappes (paralegal) person.
Ha!
wait? this isn’t your primary source of income?
Michele is just the best!! How did I not hear that story already?!? Or maybe I did and the rest you’ll be sharing just over-shadowed it.
Are you really going to post Nakid Jean???
Mwah.
I have read a lot of the same sentiment. I consider you a great blogger! And I would have loved to meet your author friend! Glad you did have some fun – Keep writing
I can’t believe I missed that!
Well, at least I caught a glimpse of the infamous boobs.
Well, I for one am making a shitload of money off of my blog. A shitload I tell you. Enough to buy you all new shoes and publish Jen Lancaster’s next book.
Or maybe enough to send you a picture of the shoes I’d like to buy you and read a paperback version of Jen Lancaster’s book I picked up at the used book store. If I had $3 in my wallet.
I would have lied my ass off to Ms. Cockatoo Poodle Head and given her all sorts of bad advice.
I wish I could have met you!
I love you too. I’m glad that the snacks showed up at just the right time. Something told me the wine would be welcome.
Can’t wait to hear more.
I am so envious and am so going to be there next year and perhaps by then we can regale her with stories of how we make money off our blogs. Just something to consider. If we can figure it out. Open for suggestions and all.
Seriously, I’m never at a loss for words but right now? Wow….
Best line of this post though: “Bitch be Crazy” Thinking this would make a great T-shirt!!!
Wow, what the hell was her story? Doesn’t she know we’re all independently wealthy and that’s why we don’t care?
Dang it! You beat me to the wine pix! I will get mine in though!!!
I am so glad I was able to share in so much of this experience with you and very glad I missed Crazy, Bad Naked, and Carson Kressly.
No, wait! I did want to meet Carson Kressly! But one and two still count though..
Hilarious. Omigosh. I’m laughing so hard right now.
YES! I was looking for a good story all day today! I like the comment about how you should have told her you did make money and then give her bad advice. So no idea what kind of blog she ran. I bet it was a porn blog. I think that probably would make some coinage. Unless she ran a hair blog. With all her hair insight and what not. Can’t wait for the rest!
Those are clearly not all stilettos. You are obviously cheating.
First – wow, sweetie, that’s a lot of shoes!
Second – I love how the Dr. Laura post you wrote comes up in the ‘you might also like’ links under this post where you discussed a crazy woman.
Finally – cripes, that is one crazy. If folks like us are doing it wrong, forgive me for quoting a song, but I don’t wanna be right!
Glad you had fun!
Wow! That woman be havin’ the mad social skillz!
Next year I am going to BlogHer in NYC. I hereby announce it.
Sounds like you were in great company and had a great time!
Sounds like you had a shitload of fun!! I can’t wait to read about the rest of your adventures at BlogHer.
P.S. I’m sooooooo jealous you got to sit and chat with Jen!
I can’t wait for pictures! Okay, well, of the streaker I could wait.. indefinitely. But otherwise. And the Carson story! And did you wear the one dress? Or the other dress?!
I don’t know why we write blogs, but I can sure as hell tell you why I read them.
I saw you guys all weekend, but if I didn’t read your blog, I would never have heard this story. And OMG, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.
I’m crying with laughter imagining Jen’s reaction. CRYING.
And who was this “Crazy” woman? Does she have name? Does SHE get paid to blog? What was she doing at BlogHer? None of you must have had any alcohol on board, or else that situation would have been handled very differently.
I cant wait to hear more! And I love the way you say you are sitting with Jen Lancaster like she is just a normal person and I shouldn’t gasp! I’m coming next time, btw. That’s right, I’m going to really update my onsugar page and join you guys- plus it seems like you need people who say “You guys” rather than “Y’all”
I don’t know if I can continue to read these posts because of the immense jealousy I am experiencing for not being at Blogher ‘09. It’s a serious problem and I think I am going to need therapy.
Thank you for addressing the hair. I thought I might have still been drunk from the night before.
Listen people, she is NOT KIDDING.
First of all – I am jealous for the amount of shoes – honestly I am!!!
Second- WTF?!?! I guess I am glad I was not there because I just prolly woulda ripped her a new one – thats just me.
Can’t wait to read more!!!
I’m realizing that my evil little plan to stalk Jen Lancaster while I was *near* Chicago would have been incredibly easy and I would have probably looked like the crazy lady!
Can’t wait to hear about the neeked person in the lobby!
Off to check out this Michele because that wine gift is way cool!
I can’t even read your blog until those pictures of mah bellah are not being advertised any more. Seriously. I told you they were just for you, and not anybody else.
Wow! The crazy chick at BlogHer found you!
I can’t wait to hear more.
That crazy girl sounds…well…crazy. Eeps.
I blog because it usually makes me feel better. Especially when I rant about my husband.
I really hope to make it to BlogHer next year!
I am so glad I was not the only one thinking: What is on that woman’s head! We were literally all just *blink blink blink* You told this story well!
Came from Jen’s at Sprite’s Keeper. Cannot tell you how much I loved this post. I cold visualize the entire incident.
Great stuff! You’ve got me hooked already by naming everybody on my daily must-read-blogs list — can’t wait to hear more. And of course you packed a whole bag of shoes. I wouldn’t have thought any different! Glad you finally were reunited.
Wow….
There was a crazy girl at Blogher 08, too, and we all just sat at the table while she asked the crazy with the crazy eyes and then I thought why don’t we leave. Are we CRAZY, too.
You knda scared me there for a second, I feared you might be talking about ME! Guess I’d better wait for the other posts before getting to confident, huh?
a) I really should have gone to BlogHer. Why didn’t I? I could have sat with you and made blinky faces too.
b) Bitch pleeze! I stalked Carson first! At the Emmy Awards where he was all like, “you look fantastic tonight what are you wearing” and then I realized he was on glue and thought he was talking to someone important. Gah.
I’ll go next year if you do.
[...] I do have this one…me with Alli Worthington, who so kindly took me to this event, and if the Crazy Woman in the previous post ever wondered why I blog? Being able to count this wonderful woman among my close friends is a good [...]
“bitch be crazy” HAHAHAHAHAHA
I guess it’s just a statistical thing at that large of an event….but it is also entertaining to read about.
I love that Jen L got away!