This weekend we went to the wedding of my very good friend Tommy and his lovely bride Ashley.
Well, we tried to go to the wedding. Long story short, Map Reading FAIL. Of biblical proportion. The wedding was at 5:00 and we left our hotel at 4:30, looking good and feeling pretty great about ourselves for making the drive from Dallas to Austin that day, getting ready in :45 minutes and getting out the door in time.
We should have allowed for an hour. At least.
It started at the hotel. The Man wanted to load the address into the GPS system in my car. However, I’ve been burned one too many times of late by GPS. Case in point, Atlanta. While trying to get to AT&T headquarters, I ended up smack dab in the middle of the most expensive neighborhood in Atlanta, Buckhead, at a dead end with the GPS yelling at me, “Turn Left, Turn Left!!!!” which had I listened to her would have meant I drove through the kitchen of an approximately 2.5 million dollar home. Meanwhile, I’ve got two minutes to get there and am summarily rocking back and forth in the fetal position yelling “Make it stop talking!!! Make it stop talking!!!” over and over again.
Wait. Where was I? Oh yes, so I totally shut him down on the GPS.
My Bad.
Get a map printed out from the hotel and The Man trusted me to read the directions to him while he drove. Silly, silly Man. Here’s a snippet of the conversation:
4:30:
The Man: We’ve got plenty of time…we are good!
4:40:
The Man: What does the map say now?
TSM: Says merge onto Mopac and go for 4.7 miles.
The Man: You ARE SUCH a good navigator.
TSM: (Smiles smugly)
4:50
The Man: Are you sure? Because I think we’ve gone over 5 miles and I’m not seeing the exit.
TSM: *Sigh* Of course I’m sure, it should be right up here…
4:55
The Man: Sweetie? I think we went too far.
TSM: No, it clearly says here to exit Bee Caves road…it has to be coming right up…are you sure you looked at the mileage?
5:00
The Man: Hon? That’s a dead end to the highway right up there.
TSM: *inserts dread into range of emotions*
5:05
TSM: Uh oh. I read the map wrong, we were only supposed to go .04 miles on Mopac to Bee Caves? And what is this 2244?
The Man: Um, that would be the sign we should be looking for, it goes by highways not street names.
TSM: Oh. Still think I’m a good navigator?
The Man: Still think it’s a good idea not to use the GPS?
After taking the map away from me, we finally arrived at the church at 5:25 right as the wedding ended. We did however, after yet another hit and miss, find the reception which was only one mile down the same road.
A few pictures:
So Tom and Ashley….my very best wishes to the two of you for lifetime of happiness. Judging from the smiles on your faces and the way you two act around each other, I cannot imagine anything but lifetime of love and devotion that will come from your wedding.
I just wish I’d been there to see it.
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
I think I remember getting lost once in Austin and Bee Caves Road being in the mix; but I probably blocked it out.
Drama Queen Jenners last blog post..ATM theft update
You sure The Man hasn’t done that before? He sure looks happy getting that grope down.
The Dental Mavens last blog post..Texas Grillin’
I totally want a GPS – except when it talks. Because my sister has one and it kind of drives me crazy with the talking.
Really, I just want to be able to plug the address in to my car and have it drive there for me. Is that too much to ask?
I quit listening to my GPS when I was married.
Who needed two voices screaming at you at the same time????
zelzees last blog post..Hot Mama
GPS = need to take the xanax.
pamelas last blog post..a tribute to a missing woman
John took our GPS to Texas and it saved him a lot of time. I didn’t need the GPS to find the airport when I went to pick him up and I STILL missed the entrance.
Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..HASAY: There’s a child in the way of my diet..
We took a journey to the middle of nowheres-ville this past weekend to stay in a beautiful little cabin. And guess what? We used an old-fashioned paper map. Didn’t even get lost either!
But damn, I do want to get a GPS
lisas last blog post..Up
This is why I can only travel by landmarks. Cripes, I still have the shakes from the time the homeowners cut down the tree I needed to look for to turn the right corner and make it home when I was in first grade!
foradifferentkindofgirl (fakdog)s last blog post..if you like it then you better watch it six or seven more times. now put your hands up. seriously. where are your hands? oh oh oh oh oh oh!
Everywhere I go I get lost. If I say go left, you should go right. My nickname is Map.
DCUrbanDads last blog post..Don’t stop believing
This is random, but I’m one of the few males great with directions. I could be like GPS Live and ride around in the passenger seat. Kind of like a taxi but instead of driving I tell YOU where to go. Then I get out at that location and help the next lost driver. Is there a career in this, I don’t know. And what would starting pay be?
PAPAs last blog post..Goodbye
You and my wife went to the same map reading school.
My GPS steered me wrong just the other day. Thank goodness I have a back up GPS on my iPhone.
What exactly are you hubby and that man doing together and what did they drink to cause this behavior?
Connie @ Young and Relentlesss last blog post..Weekend Update…Come Fly With Me
Navigation is hard! Even with a GPS.
And at least you made it to the reception, which is more important anyhow!
Beckys last blog post..Where I’ve Gone
Been there -done that!
Never turn off the GPS. It’s really the only thing between a man and total confusion.
How did those old frontier guys manage?
Oh, right. They were gone for months at a time. Probably because they wouldn’t ask for directions.
The Mothers last blog post..Boys and Girls ARE Different. TRUST Me.
This is like a dear diary entry from my childhood (with more technology and less yelling)
Great pictoral.
Kate Coveny Hoods last blog post..Guido Beach
What a good lookin’ couple! (the bride and groom, not your husband and the random gay dude)
Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommys last blog post..Letter To My Son’s Friends
It is easy to get lost in Austin. AS long as I know where the college is I’m good. Anywhere else….no way.
Micheles last blog post..Grilled Greek Portabella Mushrooms
Yet another reason to never leave the house.
Keelys last blog post..HASAY update, and some ducks
i prefer a map to the GPS. then again, i don’t know how to operate a GPS but a map on the other hand…
so do you think goggles are the next fashion trend? jody looks good in them. and i HEART her nail polish!
bexs last blog post..HASAY: margheritas, naps and other excuses
I once relied on Mapquest to get me to an airport. I swear I was almost in Germany before I turned around and headed in another direction thanks to those idiots
jessicas last blog post..Mission Impossible
You know that you went wrong the moment you shared the “You ARE SUCH a good navigator.” moment. It’s best not to tempt fate by sharing and enjoying such moments. If you had said “Aww shucks we’ll be up the proverbial creek any moment” you would have been fine.
Every time I use my GPS, it sends me a different way.
I think it does that so I will have to rely on it to find home in this damn town…
Amos last blog post..Step-and-fetch-it.
uhg, we’ve been there and done that. at least you were able to make the reception though!
MommyNamedAprils last blog post..Stalling…
You should have taken out that kitchen for fun and blamed the GPS. Your refusal to use one may have been more understandable then
Jims last blog post..The Canoe Trip
I have a love hate relationship with my GPS!
carries last blog post..TRT – I’m still a little green……
My husband got some crazy sounding thing . . . Tom Tom maybe? But the great thing about GPS systems is that when you DO get lost, “The Man” can’t blame YOU!
The Lawyer Moms last blog post..How Am I Awesome? Let’s Reverse the Meme.
So did anyone think to get the happy couple a GPS for a wedding gift??
Saucys last blog post..building a better blog week starts today!
One of those stupid Garmin GPS thingies got me stuck in a roundabout near Palm Springs. They can be handy, but they can also be tiny little assholes.
blissfully caffeinateds last blog post..Stuck In A Box