Not So Pretty Woman

by Mary Anne on June 2, 2009

A few weeks ago, I did a restock on my skin care and make up. In case you were wondering, I’m a Lancome girl. Bought some cleanser, little eyeshadow, blush…the usual suspects. Got a bonus bag. Bonus being the understatement of the year. In it was the most faboosh travel sized stuff, and as much as I travel…this was truly a gift from heaven.

In it was a moisturizer that I totally, head over heels, fell in love with….Secret De Vie. (note that you will need to practice saying this in your FANCIEST french accent for later…) So after scraping every last precious bit of the sample out, I decided I loved it enough to bite the bullet and off to a certain unnamed department store I went in search of the full sized product.

Stick with me now…this is going somewhere….

I had just dropped Miss G off at cheer practice and was looking less than “Stilettoish” if such a word exists. Slighty fug shirt, craptastic looking shorts and (gasp) croc flip flops. Also, you should know I had a mayonaisse stain on the shorts because I am all about the classy. I had originally gone to the store to buy a dress for a wedding this weekend and ended up spending a little more than I should have. Still feeling guilty, but totally enamored with this Secret De Vie, I headed to the cosmetic counter.

Did y’all see Pretty Woman? It was kinda like that scene where she tried to go shopping on Rodeo Drive only to be met by Marie “Snobby Salesperson #2″. In fact, the person who was “helping” me, looked just like her, only about 40 years older. With huge bi-focals. She even had a giant flower thing in her hair and the chandellier earrings. Sorta like this:

pretty-woman

So here’s how the conversation went down:

TSM: Walks up to counter in above described fug clothes….crickets chirp.
TSM: Looks around for person to sell her something….crickets continue to chirp. Finally, “Marie” takes pity, sighs and shuffles over.
Marie: …and how can I help you dear?
TSM: I got this sample of moisturizer, it was in a ball shape? I wanted to buy some.
Marie: Oh, you are talking about Secret De Vie! Bon! (This is where the fancy French accent comes in…in Texas…and she had a twang…which makes the entire thing RIDICULOUS.)
TSM: Well, yeah, thats fancier than I could ever say it but it was in the little ball shaped thingy?
Marie: Yes, Secret De Vie….it’s French.
TSM: Ok, and it’s in a ball shaped thingy.
Marie: *le sigh*
TSM: So yeah, that’s what I want to buy.
Marie: (Beginning grand movements to remove box from counter, lots of flourishing arm waves going on….)
TSM: That sure is a big box…
Marie: Well yes, but it will last you a full year! How would you like to pay?
TSM: Um, how much is that?
Marie: $240
TSM: TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY?
Marie: It is the best, it is Secret De Vie
TSM: Is the secret that there is gold in it?
Marie: It’s an investment.
TSM: In gold? No really, Marie….
TSM: Marie? Why are you walking away from me?
TSM: MARIE??????

*Le Sigh*

Shopping in a recession….good times.

{ 1 trackback }

The Stiletto Mom
June 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

{ 78 comments }

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