The Silence Of The Bunnies
File this under stuff that is totally not in my job description as a Mom.
Tonight, Miss G and I were hanging out on the back porch doing the stuff we love to do. For me, this means sitting with my computer, for her it means spending time on the swings showing me all of her exciting new tricks. You can imagine my shock when suddenly I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs. I totally freaked out and raced around the corner to make sure she hadn’t broken something or fallen on her head which thankfully she had not.
What I did see stopped me dead in my tracks. Our 38 pound pug, Mr. Potter, had decided to mirror another character from a movie and go totally Hannibal Lecter on a teensy bunny in our back yard. By teensy I mean all of four inches long with big floppy ears and by moment of death I mean 15 minutes of prolonged cruelty that resulted in something that may take years of therapy to erase from my precious daughter’s head. It was so unreal that at one point I fully expected him to start talking and tell me he enjoyed the bunny with a nice chianti and some fava beans because it was just that gruesome.
It bears noting that this of course happened when The Man was not here because that is just the way it had to go down.
It also bears noting that this particular dog only moves approximately 1.5 times per day because he is not only amazingly fat, but lazy as well. This is a dog that appears to be too scared of the bigger bunnies that actually eat all of our landscaping to do anything. I’m not sure, but it seems they actually taunt him and I am not kidding when I tell you it would not shock me to see one of them crawl up on his back while he dozes in the back yard and start jumping up and down in an effort to see if he will actually move. Give him a smaller, slower moving bunny, however, and apparently it is game on.
We tried everything to make it stop. Miss G threw rocks at him while sobbing uncontrollably, I went after him with a broom yelling at the top of my lungs, “OH MY GOD….THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD!!!!” I can only imagine what on earth my neighbors thought. If you think for one moment I was going to swoop in and pick up that lump of lard mid bite, you’ve got another think coming.
Also, did you know bunnies can scream?
They can. Really loud too.
Finally, I realized I could not stop this bunny murdering pug in his thirst for blood letting in our back yard, grabbed a screaming and crying Miss G and ran inside and locked the door and then made the unfortunate choice of trying to serve her ravioli for dinner which incidentally, did not go over well for either of us after what we had just seen because as a mother, I am just that awesome and thoughtful.
After the flashback subsided from the unfortunate ravioli incident, I managed to bathe her and get her to bed….in our room of course. The dog was finally allowed back inside and he is now laying on the floor, resting from his big kill, looking like this:
Is it just me, or does his stomach look just a little bit larger tonight?
Rest in peace bunny friend….
I think this calls for therapy for Miss G AND the dog.
Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..Spin Cycle: "What’s your sign?"
That’s terrible! But your description is hilarious. Note to self: still not getting a dog.
Kate Coveny Hoods last blog post..The Big Reveal: Womily Cuff Links
I see it in his eyes. That’s the face and lolling tongue of a vicious, vicious bunny killer.
blissfully caffeinateds last blog post..Six more and we’ll have a softball team
OMG! Both hubby and I laughed until we were crying! And the Ravioli…PRICELESS!!! Did MR. Potter tear it into four bits and leave it on a spit in four places in the yard as a warning to other small slow bunnies? No…then I guess it COULD be worse!
Dorseys last blog post..Hair today, sore tomorrow…
Dorsey: Much like William Wallace in Braveheart, the bunny was sectioned and his bits posted to the four corners of our yard as a warning to the other bunnies. How the dog did it without thumbs is a mystery to all of us.
I feel absolutely awful! Awful for what you and your daughter saw and awful for giggling at your retelling of the bloody tale. Oh my goodness. (Shame on me! – Still laughing – Ugh!)
Well, you were saving up for some kind of therapy, right?
Oh Mary Anne. I think I’ll pass on the ravioli for a while :->
Anns last blog post..Feeling A Little Silly
If that pug burps up a bunny tail tonight, I WILL LOSE IT!
Oh, and also?
OMG!!!
(oh, and yeah, this also….oh, ok, it’s Silence of the Lambs quotes I probably shouldn’t put here…anyway…)
I know cats go after rabbits but little pugs?! Little, snorty pugs?! Woman, you better sleep with one eye open tonight…
foradifferentkindofgirl (fakdog)s last blog post..a post about nothing? oh, you shouldn’t have!
mr. potter looks pretty pleased with himself. so he had a moment of animalistic, carnal desire. he doesn’t have BALLS anymore! as long as this is an isolated incident it probably isn’t worth worrying about – outside of miss g’s damaged psyche of course.
you did a great job taking her in the house. you are a great mom and don’t go doubting yourself!
bexs last blog post..RTT: what i am doing at my computer
When I was a kid, we watched “Mutual of Omaha” . . . right before Wonderful World of Disney. But still, this is too much!
And old Potter had the nerve to carve out his territory with the carcass of bunny all over your yard?
Good God Almighty. Poor little Gracie!
Oh, and the ravioli? Nice touch, Stiletto Mom! ; )
The Lawyer Moms last blog post..Sorry Elizabeth, but I Can’t Relate
That is a vicious bunny eating dog you have there. My Corgie ignores the bunnies and the huge ass Goldendoople is afraid of them. Poor Miss G. Hope she doesn’t have nightmares.
Micheles last blog post..RTT -
OMG. They DO scream. The screaming is worse than the blood. I’m laughing yet so sorry you two had to witness that.
Reason 427,645 not to have a dog.
AmyAnnes last blog post..Potty Time
The only thing you can really do now is sit Miss G down and give her the “food chain” talk and try not to flinch when you say it. The disgusting facts of life.
Akin to the time I took Loopy to the Wal Mart to get some goldfish and the filters were horribly loud and grumbling and clogged… with goldfish!! The goldfish were nibbling on their STILL ALIVE kin folk as they tried to squiggle free from the vacuum draw of the filter. Eventually the snackers also became the snacks in the buffet line, it was a gruesome sight that Loopy could not shake for weeks. But a screaming bunny? Beyond hideous. Book a therapist, STAT.
Sashas last blog post..drumroll please…
Mr. Potter appears about as smug as a pug on a rug… I’m sorry that you and your little one had to witness such a vicious attack
…hopefully, you can forgive and she can forget, eventually.
Reinventing Dads last blog post..Random Tuesday all over again
Mr. Potter better stay indoors from now on, the big bunnies will be plotting blood vengeance.
Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Random Tuesday: Allergy Edition
Before Mr Potter starts getting too full of himself, it might be a good idea to dress him up in one of those frou frou sweaters and maybe a hair ribbon – that seems to subdue their inner carnivore a tad.
The Dental Mavens last blog post..A Mommy Meme!
Bunnies give my dog diarrhea. Here’s to hoping you aren’t ‘updating’ this post tomorrow…
But the screaming, holy hell. There is truly nothing worse.
Amos last blog post..It’s kind of like own a pit bull, but without the ability to tie them in the yard.
We’ve always wondered what would happen if Scooter caught one of the landscape-destroying Evil Fluffy Bunnies that live in a commune underneath our deck.
You’ll excuse me if I my reaction is somewhat different than yours and I do my Mr. Burns impression.
“Eeeeexcellent…”
Jans last blog post..Bachelors #1, Bachelor #2, Bachelor #…Whoops
Am typing. this. from. fetal position.
Seriously, I knew someone whose dog killed a chicken and they made the dog wear the carcass on its back for a few days (outdoor dog) and it never touched one of their chickens again.
I hope this doesn’t mean that Gracie grows up and becomes an F.B.I. agent.
That is worse than the bunny scene in FATAL ATTRACTION!!! EW. I would have had to call 911.
Sues last blog post..Let’s Just Add One More Piece of Shit to My Life
Kids these days are not subjected to the endless atrocities of nature, serve up every Sunday night on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.
It’s a dog eat rabbit world out there.
One night a few years ago, I was entertaining some friends, and we had consumed our fair share of adult-ish beverages, which is really key to the story.
We heard The Screaming of The Tiny Bunnies. And then they started JUMPING INTO THE SCREENS OF MY HOUSE. Repeatedly.
That’s hard to process when you’re slightly intoxicated.
And the next morning, the FOUR bodies were lined up on the sidewalk. Cats are considerate like that.
pamelas last blog post..wordless wednesday: flower girl
OMG! At least it didn’t happen on Easter!
Rabbit stew for dinner, anyone?
Ohmygod. I’ve been through something similar. We used to call our last dog The Great White Huntress because she had a thing for birds. Most of the time we only saw the remnants of her attacks, but one day I saw the whole thing.
She and I were out front working on the yard. By this point she was 10, her kidneys had been shutting down for the past year and she was as mellow as can be. All of the sudden a baby bird flew out of its nest, and because it was probably the first time this thing got airborne, it was too low. Callie woke out of a dead sleep, chased it for a second and snatched it out of the air. She sprawled out on the lawn to enjoy her little snack, and when the parents started to dive bomb her for eating their baby, she calmly sauntered into the house, bird in mouth, like it was a Milk Bone. I ran in, shooed her out and closed the door.
A while later, I found her snoozing on the front porch, totally satisfied with feathers strewn around her.
It was absolutely the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Mos last blog post..Random Tuesday Crap
I have bunnies living under my big pine trees, and I worry I am going to get one of them with the mower.
I would need therapy if I saw the dog episode!
Stiletto, you inspired me today. I had something else entirely planned for my post, but here’s what I got: http://gooseyspot.blogspot.com/2009/05/inspired-by-stiletto-mom.html
Lisas last blog post..inspired by stiletto mom
This was priceless! My cats used to kill stuff all the time, but a 38-lb lazy pug??? I can only imagine the horror!
Suzys last blog post..Body Cavity Search
Oh, man…I just read that while eating my dinner. That put an end to that meal! Poor bunny!
I just watched the video and it looks like Miss G (who is ADORABLE) is still processing the Bunny Experience.
Poor Miss G! And poor bunny! I am having secondary trauma from reading about it.
I don’t think I would have done anything different from what you did–just flee the scene!
Beckys last blog post..Wedding OMG Moments
omg how horrible! poor Miss G!
and the dog .. just looking all smug and bunny-full .. ugh.
i caught my cat eating her babies when i was about Miss G’s age .. yeah, pretty traumatic.
Divine Chaoss last blog post..Favorite TV quotes of the day …
My cat Noelle LOVES baby bunnies. She brings them into our little fenced patio area and tortures them (the SCREAMS Cherise!). Then she eviscerates them and leaves pieces of bunny all through the garden, like she’s set up a scavenger hunt… here and ear, there a leg, and under the hosta, the tail. So sweet.
Yeah.
So last year, somehow it fell onto me to be the cleanup crew of every bunny massacre. That was, of course, until a bunny leg got stuck on one of the prongs of my cultivator and I had to PULL IT OFF WITH MY FINGERS. After that, bunny cleanup became Steve’s job.
Lynn @ human, beings last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Poor bunny! That’s horrible!
I’m sure the same thing would happen if my dogs ever got a hold of one, it would be a massacre.
My female dog Taylor got a hold of a chicken once but thankfully didn’t kill it.
Bobbis last blog post..When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Go Crazy.
PSH – I think *I* need therapy after that!!
Yeah…I was going to try to write something clever and all. But I’m feeling a little sick, so I think I’ll skip it.
Hope you and Ms. G get through the therapy okay!!
OMG!!! Your daughter is PRECIOUS!! That dog needs a good talking to. Too bad you don’t know any 75 lb. bunnies who’d be interested in taking on the job.
I have heard the screaming of the bunnies in my day. It is hellacious.
I once beat on my big dog Thor thiking he was eating a bunny–but he was not, he was hiding it from me on my mower, by putting it somewhere I could not mow it.
Thor was better people than I ever thought of being
paiges last blog post..Games Babies Play
Bless your hearts! That is a terrible sight. Brought up repressed memories of watching my sweet, tiny cute kitten, Belle, be eaten by my three dogs when I was 5. I must make an appointment a therapist now…
WildlyBlands last blog post.."There’s No Need…"
I think I’ve detected star quality in the way Miss G earnestly delivered her last line, ” rest in peace bunny”. Definitely could dominate in sales, or maybe a televangelist?
the mayors last blog post..Wet Leonard
I laughed out loud at the part of the ravioli and then I felt guilty because I LOVE baby bunnies.
I’m going to go and have a good cry now. *weeps*
Sammanthias last blog post..My Kids Are Totally Ready For The Mullet To Make A Comeback
OMG, I never knew that bunnies screamed. I am traumatized just reading about it.
I hope that Mr. Potter realizes he traumatized Miss G.
Melis last blog post..Catching up slowly
omg, dude. Poor Miss G. I’m sure she’ll weather it okay. I saw dead rodents all the time as a kid and I’m fine.
*twitch*
Keelys last blog post..Ferengi in Training
Oooh gross! And so funny. And so gross. It’s like some kind of evolutionary drive compelled him, and neither his cute layers of fat nor his normal sweetness could stop him. Poor Miss G.
Amber Warrens last blog post..Recession Brings Out the Worst in Clients
Aww.. poor girl. That’s rough! What a sweet heart, though. Love the video!
Taiyas last blog post..A Few Things Done
YIKES!
(Call Michael Vick! You’ve got a contender!)
Jenni Jiggetys last blog post..Aloha Jon and Kate! The "Who Cares"? Edition!
But what we all learned from this is that bunnies should not play near dogs. I mean, if you were a bunny it would be pretty damn stupid to prance around in front of a dog, or a fox, or my wife’s Grandad…
Loved your comment at Vodka Mom’s. There really SHOULD be a ‘First at Vodka Mom’s’ award, the most prized award out there dammit!
Oh my gosh.
I’d have been freaking out too. I feel faint when I see blood.
Ambers last blog post..On Children and disliking Pampered Chef
Poor bunny! I tried to rescue a bunny from a pack of dog once. I ended up picking up bunny parts out of the yard. Ick.
dogs, dammit. It should say “dogs.”
HeatherPrides last blog post..Rainy Day Revelations
Lil Miss G … I want to eat her up (in the she’s-totally-adorable-and-almost-makes-me-wanna-try-for-No.-3-in-hopes-for-a-girl way). Almost.
Thank GOD Maxi Lou is an inside kitty. I don’t even want to think of what she’d bring in. (We’ve had foxes and tarantulas and other wildlife in our yard.)
Mary Annas last blog post..Fantastic Day
Oh, and I can add this to my list for when Thing 1 asks why he can’t have a dog. I may even show him Miss G’s recount so he can really feel the emotion!
Mary Annas last blog post..Fantastic Day
OMG! Girl!!!!! How awful – OK you need to have a water hose close by and aim it at the dog, that should help – not that I’m thinking it will happen again.
We had a mass suicide of bunnies in our pool last summer…and Lizzie brough in her mouth (another day) a half dead mini bunny and dropped it at my feed while I was watching tv. David had to pull a Kavorkian with a ziplog bag….Bunnies and dogs: they don’t mix well.
And Miss G? That video? It’s her in all her glory! God I love that girl!!!!!!
Poor bunny and Miss G!
CUte dog!
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