Dr. Laura? Give Me A Break.

Warning: I’m about to GO OFF.

Dr. Laura, already an unpopular topic in the Stiletto House is out with a new book. “In Praise Of Stay At Home Moms”. Also, as a “special” gift to us all, she is allowing everyone to pay money to see her movie on May 5th and 6th. We will be treated to what I am sure will be heart warming stories of people paying tribute to their Mom which is a nice thing. We will also, however, be treated to her endless judgement of people who do not have the same choices in life she has….mainly the choice of whether or not to be a Stay at Home Mom.

Now before we go any further, let’s be clear. I love Stay at Home Moms, I was one for four years with Miss G, our second child. I know how hard it is. Many of my closest friends are Stay at Home Moms. I remember the endless days of thankless labor, laundry and conversations with someone who was only two feet tall and more demanding than the worst boss I ever worked for. I get it. Also? I miss it sometimes. I miss the mid-day play-dates and subsequent naps where I watched them sleep, I miss the little arts and crafts, I miss teaching them things, I miss….all of it. I would be lying if I told you I missed the sleepless nights, the tantrums and endless cleaning but that was part of the bigger picture and I understood that.

However, when my son was born, I had a really amazing job with great perks and a generous salary. To leave that job would have been financial suicide so The Man and I made a decision. One of us needed to stay home and the most logical choice at that point was him. It wasn’t an easy choice for either of us, I missed most of my son’s milestones and he gave up his career. But I was providing for our family and in turn, my husband was raising our son and we both knew this was the best answer for us and our future.

Dr. Laura, however, does not agree. A quote from her interview with the Wall Street Journal:

WSJ: Where do stay-at-home dads fit into the picture?

Dr. Schlessinger: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom — unless she’s incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

Listen, there is something you should know about my breasts. They are REAL and they are FANTASTIC (well perky, supple, adequate…whatever…I’ve been waiting almost a year to throw that line out) but I’m pretty sure they aren’t the magical boobies that will render perfectly balanced children.

And also, flip a coin? Really? What about when that child is in fourth grade and starting to change into a tween with the insecurities that go with it? Is that less important? What about when the same kid is in junior high and getting exposed to things that make me shudder at the very thought? Do you flip a coin then? Did she? Because I’ve heard stories about her son that if we found ourselves in a similar situation The Man would straighten his business out with immediate haste. I’m just not even going to touch “incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial” because she has clearly gone off her rocker.

Here’s the thing. Dr. Laura discounts the role of the family as whole in my book. Some families cannot afford for one parent to stay at home. Both parents have to work to keep the ship afloat. Others, like mine, have the fortunate ability to make the choice to have one parent stay at home…in this case my husband. Decisions have to be made for the greater good of the family in the long run and that is exactly what we did.

For her to discount my husbands ability to love our children and raise them as well as I could is quite frankly an insult to both of us. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that perhaps he is the better choice of the two of us because when I was at home, I had a pretty active social life that included going out for lunches, bunco, PTA….all the things that women need to remain sane. It is, to be sure, a thankless job most days and outlets for Moms are not only needed, but necessary. He, however, is one of a very few stay at home Dads in our neighborhood and as such, he doesn’t have a whole lot to distract him during the day which means 100% of his focus goes on the kids and our home. That’s a little tough for me to beat.

Dr. Laura goes on to recount how she would get up, get her son ready for school and then head in to do her radio show. She could even make it home in time to greet her son as he returned from school and then tend to all her motherly duties of the remainder of the evening.

That’s really great and all but Dr. Laura? People pay you millions of dollars a year to shoot your mouth off and speak your mind for a few hours a day. My employers always kind of expected me to show up and give a full days work and for a whole lot less money. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say 99.9% of the population doesn’t get paid what you do to espouse your views, no matter how misguided I think they are, of reality to the American public.

My son, who I might add once again, was raised the first two and half years by my husband, is one of the most caring, sweet, loving human beings you will ever meet. I credit a lot of that to The Man. He taught him respect, hugged him constantly, did “guy” things with him. He’s a great kid and my husband deserves a ton of praise for that. There is truly something to be said for Stay At Home Dads and the fact that they are every bit as capable to be the backbone of the family. I know my husband is.

Here’s the thing, we are all in this together…this bringing up of the next generation. However you choose to do it is your choice. We all want our kids to have a better life than we did, how we get there is up to us and it’s not an easy decision. Whatever choice you make to raise your kids? I support you. Bring them up as best you can and damn anyone who judges you along the way.

Dr. Laura? You feed a bunch of guilt to a whole lot of women who believe you because of your stature and presence in the media. You make a lot of women question themselves and their situations. Women who are just trying to survive on what is surely not a seven figure annual paycheck like you enjoy.

Shame on you.