Hello there,
The shoes here. The Man has agreed to be kind enough to let us air a few grievances while The Stiletto Mom is away.
First of all, let us say that our lives are not all that bad. We are not overworked. We don’t have to go through many grimy city streets and we are overall, pretty well taken care of.
But, we are experiencing a little overcrowding in our living facilities.
As you can see, thanks to The Man, most of us have our own room. Lately though, some of us have been asked to share in order to accommodate the new arrivals. This has caused some consternation to those of us that feel that we deserve a little better treatment than say some of the lesser shoes in the closet. How does a Croc rate the same treatment as a Manolo or a Jimmy Choo? And to be left next to a pair of running shoes, you must be kidding! There has to be some kind of hierarchy based on sales price or country of origin (Italians and French being on top of course). We are being forced to live in some kind of Slumdog Millionaire shack city with no regard for our stations in life.
We ask you, her loyal readers, to petition her to stop the madness and either find us a bigger closet or stop buying shoes.
Thank you for your attention to this serious issue,
The Shoes
PS: Stiletto Mom here, with huge thanks to The Man for taking over my blog for a day while I’m in Atlanta. I love you honey….and I’m totally going to pay you back for this one!!!!
PSS: This post is the brain child of Tatooed Mini Van Mom who told me it would be a good idea to let The Man take over again for a day….and I always do what she says!
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
I think the least you can do is make some room in your closet for left over shoes.
Listen up Shoes. In case you didn’t know it, we’re in a down economy, so STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF SPOILED MANOLO BLAHNIK’S. Looks to me you’ve got a good home and easy duty. So shut up and take it like a Mandong sandal. Sheeesh!
It appears that The Stiletto Mom is a slob when it comes to organizing her shoes. You, The Man, have done your part by providing her the space she needs and now it is up to her to provide the proper care and hierarchy for the shoes. Some of those shoes are “so yesterday”!
I am loving your closet! I’d kill to have room like that for my shoes.
It kind of sounds like he’s promising to get you a bigger closet if you can’t stop buying shoes. And you have several witnesses…
Hey Shoes, You’ve all got some pretty good digs and very few have to double up. Now, my shoes should be the ones complaining. Very few have their own space and all of them have to double up or get kicked to the floor. The floor is not a good place to be at my house. Sometimes you become dog food.
Sweet Mother of All That’s Holy! I’m going to go kiss my wife. Maybe make her dinner.
Maybe order something in.
I think now is the perfect time while your wife is working hard in Atlanta to build her a second luxury home for the new shoes brought to the “family”. Wouldn’t that make a lovely surprise?
Wow. So you really are the ‘cat lady’ for shoes huh…
Um, I think I saw several things here. Did I or did I not see pink crocs? Did I or did I not see Christian Louboutin pumps? Those two should not be allowed to socialize under any circumstances. It’s just like the Montague and Capulets up in here. Maybe put a Frranco Sarto between them, you know, to even out the caste system.
I think that if my shoes were to have a voice, they would make me get rid of an old pair of flip flops that I’ve been hanging onto for YEARS. It would be like an episode of Survivor, but instead of putting out the torch, there would be a burning!
You are officially my shoe goddess… I know have a goal in my life…
*jealous*
Dear Ms. Marcos,
I understand you had to go into the witness protection program when your dumbass hubby fucked his job all up but come.on. You don’t think we know that’s really your closet in this post? Have a little restraint from here on out please. Don’t make the Marshalls move you again.
Holy Crap you have a lot of shoes woman!
Mr. Stiletto dude, I apoligize. I realize I just called you Ferdinand Marcos. And he’s short and ugly, so for that, I am sorry.
Holy sweet Jimmy Choo!! You have beautiful shoes!! I aspire to be you.
All shoes are equal in my eyes, I don’t discriminate. That Croc can sit wherever he wants.
Dear Shoes:
I think you suffer greatly. I mean … some of you must be neglected, right? She can only wear one shoe at a time. And your rigid caste system (Crocs on bottom and Manolos on top) is painful and needless. Let you all live together in peace and harmony. Your only purpose should be her pleasure and comfort. If you are not meeting those purposes, you should find new homes!
When my shoes start to complain I say to them, “Off you go to Goodwill”! and shove them in a bag.
omg you are in Atlanta again!!
mmmm. such organization. Me? my poor shoes have to sit piled on top of each other, in abject poverty. I need a closet.
Wait – what size are you shoes again? Cause, maybe some of you need a little vacation….I got a nice shoe rack you can stay in….
very amusing.
wowza! you have a LOT of shoes! ok, one day i will post a picture of my shoes and you can laugh at my sad little footwear. mostly i wear converse or flip flops. but you know, my kids are still little – this is about practicality and walking around seaworld all day.
The Louboutins can come stay with me. You know, like refugees. I will give them their own room. (My kids can double up in one room.)
Give me your tired, and your Manolos. Your huddled stilletos yearning to be free.
That’s one impressive wall of shoes… I’m showing that to my husband next time he tries to say that I have too many shoes…
I’ve got just FIVE words for ya boy:
Over the door shoe holder!!!
Just put them everywhere, every closet, every door … more space WOOT!
my shoes are homeless so suck it up!
Holy Crap! That is amazing! You have some seriously cute shoes.
Dear Shoes,
I suggest that you have a serious conversation with The Man regarding closet space. The way I see it, shoes trump all. Including, but not limited to, The Man’s closet space. I suggest that The Man move some clothing over and provide the proper living environment that you all deserve. In the spirit of our new administration–It is time to share the wealth!!!
Good luck on your new and expanded space,
Lisa
So The Man actually knows a Manolo from a Croc? That’s impressive. Way to go, Man.
Imelda Marcos, I never knew ye!
Hey shoes, I will be more than happy to take some of you in at my place.
Just sayin’.
Bigger closet……………..
Home addition………….
Sell some children………………
Anything to make room for more shoes!
Dear Shoes,
It’s time for a hostile take over. Take over the Man’s Closet.
I am sure there is room in there.
Signed,
Sneakers
My sensible pair of black work tennis shoes, which I tossed off and are in a pile in the corner, kind of cower in a blend of respect and jealousy at the sight of all those hot shoes!
Sweet baby jesus that’s a lot of shoes.
Dear Shoes,
Stop complaining! If you lived in a closet with only a few of you, you would have to work almost every day until your soles have holes, your tops are shabby and your heels break – forced labor! So suck it up and get over it! And I bet more are coming, so you might just get used to it.
To The Man – plastic containers for individual pairs of shoes or boots (The Container Store, starting at $1.75 each) are a great way to store out of season shoes. Summer is coming and I am pretty sure TSM has several pairs of boots she won’t be needing for several months. You can then stack them at the topmost shelf on the closet (works for out of season purses too). Come winter, up go the sandals and down come the boots.
XO
M
Consternation? Really? That’s a big word for shoes. The only words my shoes know are “Ugh gum.” and “Ugh dog shit.”