The Time I Met Tom Cruise…Also Know As “Why Wine Tastings Aren’t Your Friend At 22″

by Mary Anne on March 23, 2009

So a while ago (okay let’s be honest about 10 posts ago because I have been sucky about posting at best…) when I was going on and on…

and on and on…

and maybe a little bit on and on…about Jen Lancaster, I mentioned I had a run in with Tom Cruise. Thousands, Hundreds, Dozens, ONE OF YOU threatened to scour my archives to find the story. But I’ve never told you. So Bex? This one’s for you girlfriend.

The year was 1987 or 1988…all I know is Tom Cruise was in Dallas filming “Born On The Fourth Of July” and I was at a wine tasting. (Okay do the math real quick. Me? Old? Why yes, I am…)

Let’s start with the wine tasting, shall we? Now a normal person, of a certain age, would know that wine tasting is just that. A tasting. But in 1987 or so I was 22, and a wine tasting mean one thing. Wine gulping. Hell, if I was going to pay to be there and they were going to give me those tiny glasses…I was going to get my money’s worth. Period.

Yeah, okay, not smart. Go back in time and talk some smack to 22 year old me and see how far you get. Go on. I’ll wait.

Ok, back? You didn’t win because 22 year old me slurred some horrible response to you that made you go cry in the bathroom?

Yeah. I thought so.

So anyway, I was there with my boyfriends sister. It’s important to note my boyfriend at that time was named Leslie Nutt. He went by Les. Les Nutt. Nope, not kidding. Dated him for four years, thought I’d marry him, at which point I would have been Mary Anne Nutt…which in retrospect is apropos. Still, unfortunate name for him. Les? If you are reading this? Sorry I was kind of a shit back in the day, but you were too, friends? No? Well, whatever.


So his sister and I went to this wine tasting, slung back…oh…I’d say a dozen small wine glasses…and realized after embarassing ourselves that perhaps it would be a good idea to stumble across the street to Terelli’s and get some food.

You know what a bad idea after drinking too much wine at a wine tasting is? Martini’s. That’s what.

So we got to Terrellis, ordered some Italchos (crispy pizza crust covered in whatever you want…in my case, cheese, shrimp, artichoke hearts and capers…yummmm) and proceeded to drink our bowls of loud mouth soup. It was all going swimmingly until Alison looked at me and said, “Phsssssssssthhhh….don’t look now but, Tom Cruishh is is shitting right behind you…” (Authors note: he was not shitting, he was in fact SITTING but man, we were in a bad state.)

At which point, I did what any drunk 22 year old would do and I whipped around to look. By whipped, I mean I turned my head so fast I simultaneously gave myself whip lash and threw myself halfway off my chair, legs akimbo, glazed look on my face. IMPRESSIVE.

The conversation, as best I can recollect, and based on corroboration the next day from other friends who were there laughing their asses off
paying attention, went something like this:

Me: Shyou are Tom Cruishe? SHOMG…am totally freaking out jusht a shlittle bit.
Tom: Yes, I am.
Me: Whose that with you? She looks oooolllllddddd….
Tom: That would be my WIFE, Mimi. (You young ‘uns? That’s his first wife Mimi Rogers which made her about 32 or 33 at the time…which makes me an ass. Also? She had gone to the bathroom and I am eternally thankful she did not hear this exchange…)
Me: Really? Becauzzzzz she really looks oooollllldddd…
Tom: *Blank Stare*
Me: Alsho, why are you so skinnnnny?
(Authors note: He was, and? He is incredibly short. I’d take him in a cage match twice on Sunday.)
Tom: Because I’m filming a movie about a disabled war veteran and I had to lose weight for the role.
Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…Wait. WHAT??? (Sort of missed the point here, in case you didn’t catch that…thought I was being charming laughing at his imagined witty commentary when in fact, I wasn’t listening and managed to disrespect the armed forces everywhere. THE SHAME.)

Me? = ASS.

Tom: Perhaps you should call a cab?
Me: Perhapsh.

So there you have it. My run in with Tom Cruise before he was all weird and stuff. The good news is, he was a nice guy, put up with me and even cared enough to remind me to call a cab.

Which I did.

Thanks, Tom.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • TwitThis

{ 1 trackback }

You Never Know Where The Path May Lead…
April 13, 2010 at 6:29 am


1 Keven Lafromboise September 24, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Tom Cruise daughter Suri is so cute and adorable. What a lucky child to have beautiful and popular parents. I wonder if some day she can also be a famous star.

2 2964813 June 10, 2011 at 11:30 am

2964813 beers on the wall.

3 Corporate Web Design June 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I am delighted that I discovered this web blog, exactly the right information that I was looking for!

4 Gertude Deangelo June 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

This blog appears to recieve a great deal of visitors. How do you get traffic to it? It offers a nice individual spin on things. I guess having something useful or substantial to talk about is the most important thing.

5 Orange County Website Design June 10, 2011 at 1:53 pm

What’s Taking place i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively helpful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & aid other customers like its helped me. Good job.

6 Marijuana Doctor in Palm Springs June 10, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Would love to perpetually get updated great website!

7 Kasandra Drehmer June 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I’d be inclined to buy into with you on this. Which is not something I typically do! I really like reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!

8 HTC Trophy Accessories June 10, 2011 at 6:16 pm

A moment ago accidentally came upon this webpage, this is very useful stuff and I hope i might seen this before. Thank you for mentioning this and looking forward to visit shortly. Enjoy coming across stuff regarding stuff like this.

9 lose weight hypnotherapy June 10, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Great blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Bless you!

10 stock picking software June 10, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

11 simpsons drinking game June 11, 2011 at 3:34 am

There are some attention-grabbing closing dates on this article however I don’t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I’ll take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article, thanks and we would like extra! Added to FeedBurner as well

12 Theola Parzych June 12, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Superb blog post, I have book marked this internet site so ideally I’ll see much more on this subject in the foreseeable future!

13 create software June 12, 2011 at 10:00 pm

The root of your writing while sounding reasonable originally, did not really sit properly with me after some time. Someplace throughout the sentences you managed to make me a believer unfortunately only for a short while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your leaps in logic and one would do well to fill in all those gaps. In the event you actually can accomplish that, I could surely be fascinated.

14 mygalid June 13, 2011 at 2:50 am

Robbing Philip to spend John is completely not a way to reside in, and even in fact to work with the word are located is without a doubt imprecise, relating to stay in such a way is only just everyday living.

15 full episode hd June 13, 2011 at 3:13 am

my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it with ‘we leave it to you to decide’.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: