The Scene: A darkened hotel room somewhere in Austin where I am reveling in the extra half hour sleep I am going to get since I don’t have to get up with kids.
The Evening Before: Room Service order placed at 10 pm right before going to sleep. Woken up at 11 pm for what was close to the Spanish Inquisition as to what type of juice I would like and if, in fact, I actually wanted a large pot of coffee. Which yes, I did.
Flash Forward to Present Day: The time? 6:30 AM
Ring Ring!
Me: Blarghgah…um, hello? (knocking over water on the way to phone and now wet)
RS: Hello.
RS: …..insert lengthy silence here….
Me: Hello?
RS: Good Morning.
Me: Did you need something?
RS: Yeah.
Me: Do you want to tell me?
RS: Yes, I wanna talk to you about your order.
Me: You mean the order that isn’t supposed to be here until SEVEN THIRTY???
RS: Yes. That one.
Me: …waiting…absorbing fact that I have been woken up a full hour before I wanted.
RS: …breathing into phone…
Me: Is it my turn to ask the question?
RS: Huh?
Me: Gah! Okay, what about my order did you want to talk to me about?
RS: We don’t got any tomato juice and we wanna know if you want somethin’ else.
Me: …and you needed to know this an hour before you bring it up.
RS: Yes, we are gettin’ everything together now.
Me: But it’s not supposed to be here for another hour. AT SEVEN THIRTY.
RS: Yes.
Me: Yes, what?
RS: Yes we are getting it together to serve to you in an hour.
Me: But it’s eggs?
RS: Yeah.
Me: Don’t you think they will get, well, gross?
RS: Dunno but they won’t be coming with your tomato juice.
Me: How about we just cancel the eggs for today, huh?
RS: But do you still want the juice?
Me: Hangs up phone and screams into pillow.
Business travel, it’s the stuff of dreams.
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