The Scene: A darkened hotel room somewhere in Austin where I am reveling in the extra half hour sleep I am going to get since I don’t have to get up with kids.
The Evening Before: Room Service order placed at 10 pm right before going to sleep. Woken up at 11 pm for what was close to the Spanish Inquisition as to what type of juice I would like and if, in fact, I actually wanted a large pot of coffee. Which yes, I did.
Flash Forward to Present Day: The time? 6:30 AM
Ring Ring!
Me: Blarghgah…um, hello? (knocking over water on the way to phone and now wet)
RS: Hello.
RS: …..insert lengthy silence here….
Me: Hello?
RS: Good Morning.
Me: Did you need something?
RS: Yeah.
Me: Do you want to tell me?
RS: Yes, I wanna talk to you about your order.
Me: You mean the order that isn’t supposed to be here until SEVEN THIRTY???
RS: Yes. That one.
Me: …waiting…absorbing fact that I have been woken up a full hour before I wanted.
RS: …breathing into phone…
Me: Is it my turn to ask the question?
RS: Huh?
Me: Gah! Okay, what about my order did you want to talk to me about?
RS: We don’t got any tomato juice and we wanna know if you want somethin’ else.
Me: …and you needed to know this an hour before you bring it up.
RS: Yes, we are gettin’ everything together now.
Me: But it’s not supposed to be here for another hour. AT SEVEN THIRTY.
RS: Yes.
Me: Yes, what?
RS: Yes we are getting it together to serve to you in an hour.
Me: But it’s eggs?
RS: Yeah.
Me: Don’t you think they will get, well, gross?
RS: Dunno but they won’t be coming with your tomato juice.
Me: How about we just cancel the eggs for today, huh?
RS: But do you still want the juice?
Me: Hangs up phone and screams into pillow.
Business travel, it’s the stuff of dreams.
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH. That made me want to scream FOR you!
No. That is not me laughing at you. You can totally not hear me all the way from England laughing.
I’m speechless. As someone who works in the industry that is just, ugh. SO horrible!!! I’m not sure what’s worse – the eggs an hour early or being woken up an hour early. Scratch that, it’s the sleep. Bastards!
Nothing annoys me more than a planned morning of sleeping in which goes awry!! I would strangle the room service dude for you!
You have got to tell me which hotel. I think I’ll have to go to Austin like the first week I start and I’ll want to avoid it.
Ewww! I would definitely complain. that sucks. business hotels I usually go to with my husband would never do that. They want your repeat business.
As for the eggs one hour ahead? Um, hullo food poisoning.
Gross.
An one hour early wake up. That is murder worthy. Grrrr…
Oh no. That is no way to wake up. I hope that nobody died as a direct result of sucky room service.
Oh My god I think I would have smashed something! : )
Holy crap.
That is SO WRONG!
The whole ordering breakfast the night before is fraught with peril. I’ve heard lots of stories of disappointment.
Hope you got back to sleep?
And don’t you love the fancy-schmancy phone right next to the toilet? Like you’re really going to want to answer the phone in that circumstance.
Okay, so did you actually get any juice? An apology? An extra newspaper delivered later?! The name of the mystery caller? (Did you ask your husband what he was doing at 6:30 a.m.?)
Now, I have a craving for tomato juice….
ewwwwwwww. eggs that have been sitting there for an hour? Are you at the La Quinta?
1st time visitor, funniest post I read today (I put it in my shared on my sidebar) …. put ya in my reader, I’ll be back =)
Well, so did you get the juice or not?
oops
At least tell me they brought the large pot of coffee as a peace offering…
I don’t even want to ask where you stayed. So good to hear that they are prompt, and that the eggs were probably cooked the night before.
I agree with Steenky… did you at least get the coffee??
Hotels just aren’t what they used to be…. But I hear Austin is nice!
Hopefully drinks later in the afternoon made up for the morning!
i love how you just hung up. that is so funny! your life is very funny. i wish my life were more like yours!
After a while, you just get used to stupid human tricks at hotels and learn to expect it. Only when spending exorbitant amounts of money at a hotel do expected actions fall into place- and not always, even then. It irks me that I have to pay (a lot) for God-given common sense.
Wow. That’s like a really bad comedy routine. You were probably wise to cancel the order. I wouldn’t want someone that stupid cooking me a damn freaking thing!
well, anyway… her’s your order of boiled tomato egg juice- that *is* what you ordered right? Served in an old boot? LOL
I am so sorry you got woken up, but this was hilarious
Of course I wouldn’t think it was hilarious if it happened to me. Not until at least 48 hours later, at least 
That is just so, so wrong. I would find that dude and slap him!
Well, in my mind I would….
Ah, this makes traveling seem like such a beautiful fairy tale! I hope the next attempt fared far better!
‘The Hell kinda hotel pulls that crap?
omg. I guess that teaches you to order tomato juice, huh?
Aaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkkkkkk! That frustrated me, and I wasn’t even there!
Okay – so the system isn’t always perfect – but I LOVE room service. Everything about it. Even when the order is late or wrong – the fact that I didn’t have to do any cooking or cleaning thrills me. I don’t really travel for work now – so I miss room service. I wish you could get it at home…Do you think I’d have to add a second kitchen?
I am totally in suspense about what they DID bring you.
Also, I think you were perfectly delightful for someone who was woken up early.
Really? People are actually that stupid and rude? Argh!
hi! i’m commenting twice because i have an award waiting for you at my blog!
Thank you for helping squelch my jealousy over Dean’s occasional business trip….sorry it didn’t work out as you’d dreamed. I could almost strangle him for you. Better luck next time :hug:
I wish I had your phone number cuz I would SOOOO call you right now and ask you if you still wanted your juice. Where’s the rest of the story? Where you skipped your happy butt down to the kitchen and smacked someone in the noggin?
What??? A hotel in Austin treated you this way? Well, that’s taking the “Keep Austin Weird” slogan just a little too far. Let me know which hotel and I’ll head straight over there and kick some hotelier ass.
Oh yes, I would.
every Thursday morning is MY morning, the one where my kid is waking up at my ex’s home. inevitably, SOMEONE will call at 7am. Meanwhile. I can go DAAYYYYS and no one calls me.
so, did you get to eat breakfast that morning? Just askin.
I decided that since you made me laugh I would forgive you for being in Austin and going to bed at 10PM.
Wow. I could feel the swell of my throat just reading that. I wanted to scream into the phone, “You stupid bastard. Cancel my order and never call me again.” NEVER wake a sleeping woman unless it is an emergency. Tomato juice does NOT constitute an emergency.