The One Where My Stalking Pays Off…

I may have mentioned maybe once or twice that I am a weensy bit of a huge fan of Jen Lancaster. Perhaps….here or here. You hadn’t heard? Try HERE.

Yeah, borderline stalker. The restraining order just cannot be that far away.

The good news is, sometimes (or maybe just this once), stalking pays off.

Last week, as I was minding my own business The Man walked into my office with a jaunty smile, package in hand asking, “Do you know a J Lancaster in Chicago? Because you just got a something from her.”

At which point I assumed the three point stance and launched at him. (He’s fine BTW…a few minor contusions…nothing a few stitches won’t clear up. No need to send flowers.)

It’s his fault really, he knew Jen had promised me an advance of Pretty in Plaid. I just never really thought she’d send it to me. (Because honestly? She is a New York Times best selling author and I am, well…me.) But, there it was proving she truly is just THAT NICE in real life.

So, I did what anyone as enthused, excited obnoxious as I am and immediately posted my bounty to facebook, twitter and every other platform I could imagine. Also, I hugged the book..and took pictures.

What does that say right there up at the top? “UNCORRECTED PROOFS FOR LIMITED DISTRIBUTION-NOT FOR SALE”, that’s what.

If you can get beyond what appears to be my ginormous forehead in this picture due to an unfortunate camera angle you can see in the upper corner it once again says “NOT FOR SALE”. Just cannot stress this enough in an effort to make myself look cooler than I really am.

After shouting from the rooftop with a megaphone, rolling around on the floor yelling AHAHAHAHAHA sucka’s I GOT THE ADVANCE!!!!, quietly looking at it…incredulous that a NYT best selling author sent silly little me an advance, I took a peek inside. Guess what? Autographed again. Look…..

Call me cah-razay…but that totally sounded like an invitation. Again.

Let me tell you, the house went into lock down. No one was allowed to make eye contact with me, let alone speak as I read MY ADVANCE of Pretty in Plaid. (Sorry, can’t seem to stop the rubbing in factor. You’d do the same thing…admit it.) Naomi Campbell? Bite me. I just re-defined the rules on how be a self absorbed bitch in my own home. Don’t test me, I’ll hit you with a blinged out Blackberry, just try it.

Pretty in Plaid is beyond awesome. I’d love to tell you all about it…but…I’m not going to because you really need to buy it when it comes out May 5th. All I’ll tell you is this, if you are a Jen Lancaster fan you need to read this book as it will make you understand so much about how she did, in fact, end up in the unemployment office carrying a Prada bag. That scene? Was a long time in the making.

Jen? You freaking rock. Thanks for about one million smiles.


  1. The Lawyer Mom said:

    Girlfriend, I am so jealous. I’m stalking Kyle Bass to no avail. Sent him a handwritten note and he STILL hasn’t called me. Will you give me some stalking tips?

  2. Domestic Chicky said:

    I knew you would love it-I read it on the airplane coming home, and it was like sitting with a new friend and having a thousand “omg-me too” moments…sort of like blissdom, huh? xoxo

  3. NGS said:

    Awww…that makes me so happy for you. I’m starting to get on the Jen Lancaster train and I’ve never read a single book!!

  4. Robin said:

    That’s just awesome. Isn’t it great to feel like a total rock star?
    PS- How psyched are you for Blogher?

  5. Ally said:

    how fun! I am totally jealous and will be stalking you until you let me see it in person!! And then, of course will be running to B&N to get the real thing on May 5th - I always need a good read, especially where you can work the words Prada and unemployment office into the same thought!

    hey, let’s get together before / after BlogHer.. you can teach me fun blogging things and I can get you some juice.. :)

  6. Captain Dumbass said:

    The Cup was on your street and now you’re getting advanced copies of books? Your coolness factor is off the charts.

  7. paige said:

    I love her too- –reading her books makes me wonder if there is a weird implant in my head, letting her read all my thoughts and then write them down.

    Cool for you–I cannot wait to get the book

  8. Jessica Bern said:

    How cool is that? VERY YOU GO BITCH!!!!

  9. vodkamom said:

    holy shit.

  10. Connie @ Young and Relentless said:

    I can’t wait for this to come out! I’m busting my ass to read all of her other books so that I can devour this one!

    I think we should declare May 5th Jen Lancaster Day!

  11. pamela said:

    Wow. You’re like the President of the Jen Lancaster Fan Club of Texas or something.

  12. michelle said:

    OMG! You so completely rock! I will have to go pre-order now so it is on my doorstep May 5th.

    Now, about your stalking tactics…. There is this movie vampire guy I<3….. along with every teenager and mom in America of course. Can you help me out?

  13. Michele said:

    Looks like stalking paid off big time. Nice job! And that was a total invitation.

  14. MommyNamedApril said:

    how freaking cool! and OMG, nice ROCK!!!

  15. Kat said:

    That totally sounded like an invitation to her lawn. I am completely jealous that I am not going to get to BlogHer.

  16. Dana's Brain said:

    Awesome!! I saw that post on facebook and knew you must be so totally psyched!

  17. a H.I.T. said:

    I am beyond jealous. So happy to hear that it’s worth the wait for the rest of us!

  18. Becky said:

    Cool! And I don’t think it’s stalking if she initiated contact. Just sayin’, you’re in the clear.

  19. Mo said:

    I’d comment and tell you how completely freaking awesome this is, but I’m a little selfish and a lot jealous!

    PS: It is pretty freaking cool and I can’t wait to buy the book.

  20. Amo said:

    And to think, momma always said stalking wouldn’t pay off! Good job!

    P.S. I still like yous…them was just jokes. ;) I guess I’ll go buy my own in a couple of months!

  21. ShoozieShoes said:

    How cute are you… forehead and all!

  22. Elisa said:

    Ok, if you weren’t so nice I’d really dislike you right now, because I am so damn jealous :-)

    I can’t wait for Pretty in Plaid to come out! Because you know, us mortals have to get it at the bookstore ;-)

    Which one of the other 3 was your fave? For me it was definitely Such a Pretty Fat.

  23. Maria S. said:

    Like I told you when you called me to tell me you “just. got. the. book. straight. from. the. source”, I am way beyond jealous at this point. May 5th can’t come soon enough…wonder if it will be available on Kindle? But I still love you, BTW - even you are now a rock star and will soon forget your lovely-non-rockstar friends… (sigh)

  24. foradifferentkindofgirl (fakdog) said:

    That is so incredibly cool! I keep checking the stockpile of advance reader books we get at the bookstore, hoping there’s one there I can nab, but I guess I’m going to have to wait until I can buy it like those who aren’t superstars (hehe!). Hey, at least I’ll have an employee discount to rock on it!


  25. The Dental Maven said:

    Girl! I Hope you bought your O’Hare ticket, ’cause it sure sounds like a lawn invitation to me!

  26. An Undomestic Goddess said:

    Words cannot describe how jealous I am. Care to start a book swap ;) I’m currently banned from buying any new books until I actually read everything I already own…sadly, my book buying habit has far outpaced my reading habits so it may be a while before I can actually enjoy Lancaster’s widsom!

  27. colepack said:

    bitch…… :)
    Dang, that is cool. Um, that I know someone that got the book early.
    Wonder what she would do if you really ended up on her lawn…..

  28. Bobbi said:

    I’m so jealous, I LOVE Jen Lancaster!

  29. Jenni Jiggety said:

    You’re a rock star! How awesome!

  30. Ellie said:

    You ARE supercool. There is just no getting around that one. And nobody stalks better.

  31. Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy said:

    Wow, you are the coolest. Every day I get more and more jealous of you.

    Can’t wait to read it when it comes out!

  32. bex said:

    i have not read jen lancaster but i so totally am buying her book based on your blog post. and for me to buy a book is HUGE - i am library girl.

  33. tuesday said:

    here I thought you just loved me enough to stalk. Hrumph!

  34. Michelle Frick said:

    You go girl! How awesome are you? You’re having a pretty banner year so far - work it out girlfriend!!!!

  35. Beth said:

    That’s a really nice thing Jen has done. Cannot wait to read the book myself.

  36. Ally B said:

    HOLY SHIT, woman! JEALOUS!! JEALOUS!! JEALOUS!! You. Are. My. Hero. (After Jen, of course.) Did I mention JEALOUS!!

  37. the mayor said:

    You are nominated to conduct a continuing education seminar on “How to Stalk Effectively Without Alienating Your Prey”. Since you’re in Texas where it is warm maybe we could just come camp out in your front yard!
    Just kidding… I don’t camp but I am begging for a reason to get out of Michigan for a few sunny days.

  38. Casey said:

    Wow, you’re totally her number one fan if you got an autographed advance copy. Congrats! I think she wants you to be her new manager…

  39. Jessica said:

    I agree with the mayor. We need sessions on stalking! Totally jealous!

  40. OHmommy said:

    I can’t wait to read it. I had no idea she is going to Blogher as well. Now I am stoked!

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