A Most Interesting Book Report

by Mary Anne on March 6, 2009

Last week, Mr. C had a book report due. Usually this sets off alarms in The Stiletto house. Not because he isn’t good on the homework front (save the procrastination), but mainly because of the production that can be involved in these things. We’ve had costume requirements, dioramas (he chose the Bald Eagle…guess how much fun it was gathering supplies for that one), even lifelike puppets. It’s been a drill for two years since we started working on these. I don’t even want to talk about the Turkey disguised as the Easter Bunny, I’m still recovering from that one.

This time, we got off easy. He had to do a report that required nothing but drawing the illustrations and his well thought out observations on the book. He put the entire thing together so thoughtfully, it looked really great. Divided into four easy to read sections, The Man and I started to read through the report. Come on…join us on this journey.

The Pinballs by Betsy Byar

1. I give this book 4 stars because it shows you that friendship can go for miles and that life back in the time of this book wasn’t so great. I enjoyed every part because it is truly a great book. I think that just about anyone would like this book, but I would change the ending to where they get back to their families.

Us: Oh, that is so sweet, he sees the value in friendships and families.

2. The problem in this story is that these three kids have to go to a foster home because something happened to their guardians. Like Thomas J., his guardians break their hips and end up dying. Also, Harvey’s Dad accidentally ran over his legs.

Us: Um, break their hips and end up dying? And those broken legs? How did THAT happen? Was Harvey’s dad just a really bad driver?

3. This story takes place in the 1900’s at a small town foster home. This is important because without the setting , there couldn’t be a book. Also, because if they were sent anywhere else, they would be too far from their families.

Us: Okay, good we are back on track again. We were sort of concerned about the turn the story seemed to be taking.

4. The characters in this book are very realistic because they face real tragedies in life. For Thomas J., his life is now rock bottom. His mother abandoned him and then his guardians died. Carlie probably has it the most easy. She is only there because her Dad is really mean. Harvey is in the middle. His Dad was driving drunk and ran over both of his legs and broke them.

Us: What. THE HELL. Is our kid reading??? OMG!!!

The good news is, Mr. C managed to get through the book without slipping into any sort of deep depression.

It may take The Man and I a while to bounce back from that book report though.

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

1 foradifferentkindofgirl (fakdog) March 6, 2009 at 9:29 am

FIRST?!?!?

2 foradifferentkindofgirl (fakdog) March 6, 2009 at 9:30 am

WOO HOO!!

OK, I have never heard of this book, which is odd when you consider how many young reader books I touch in a work day, but after reading the gist of it, I’m kind of glad I don’t know this one, because I have a hard enough time dealing with some of the stuff I do at the store. Adding this to my duties would just put me over the edge, I think!

3 Michele March 6, 2009 at 9:40 am

OK, what are the ages of the kids in the book–I may want my 12 yr old to read it. I love an opportunity to make him realize he has a great life even though no cell phone, no email address for him.

4 Becky March 6, 2009 at 9:43 am

Lord! That is gritty! It’s a hard-knock life, I guess. Good preparation for reading the newspaper.

5 April March 6, 2009 at 10:25 am

That’s interesting to say the least. Guess it shows life could always be worse. Your son sounds like a pretty smart kiddo.

6 Sprite's Keeper March 6, 2009 at 10:32 am

They’re banning books like Harry Potter for THIS? At least Mr. C made it through and gave a thought provoking presentation.

7 michelle March 6, 2009 at 11:13 am

My daughter is doing a biography on Helen Keller. You will be pleased to know:
“Helen Keller was deaf, blind and dumb. Not dumb like our dogs. They run into walls and eat bugs. She was the kind of dumb where you can’t talk and don’t know how to communicate with people. She became famous when her teacher talked to her hands and then brought her to college. Where she learned to do plays on stage to support herself for her life. She earned the presidents honor medal. But it wasn’t Barracks medal, it was another president that is dead now Helen lived her life, had a stroke, but never had a seeing eye dog that blind people have today. They were not invented yet then. But cars were.”

8 Mary Anne March 6, 2009 at 11:23 am

@michelle: if there was an award for most relevant and hilarious comment in the history of EVER…I’d be handing it to you right now!

9 Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy March 6, 2009 at 11:24 am

hahahaha, I TOTALLY remember that book. And it being really fucked up and depressing.

Nice book report though! I am impressed!

10 Dana's Brain March 6, 2009 at 11:26 am

Wow. Just…wow. Give me good ole Anne of Green Gables any day!

On a side note – michelle? That Helen Keller report seriously made me laugh out loud!!

11 Dana's Brain March 6, 2009 at 11:28 am

Stupid thing lost my comment! Which was:

Give me good ole Anne of Green Gables any day!

On a side note – michelle? Funniest things I have read in a looooong time! Hilarious!!

12 Sarah March 6, 2009 at 11:29 am

Makes Annie look like a big sissy! : )

13 Dana's Brain March 6, 2009 at 11:40 am

Something weird is happening to my comments. And if they all show up at once I’m going to be annoyed!

Hopefully third time is the charm:

Give me good ole Anne of Green Gables any day!!

And on a side note – michelle? Freakin’ HILARIOUS!!

14 pamela March 6, 2009 at 11:45 am

Oh, I can’t wait until my kids have to write book reports. But maybe they’ll be assigned something that hasn’t been invented yet, like Helen Keller and her not-available-for-retail-sale seeing eye dogs.

15 The Dental Maven March 6, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Now that’s just the limit! What the hell is going on in our schools these days? Why not have him read something kinder and gentler? For instance: “Strangers Have the Best Candy,” or “The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables.” Honestly, I don’t know where this country is going. Hmmmf.

16 Cathy March 6, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Just wait until your son starts doing Roald Dahl. Seriously twisted stuff — but oh so fun! And I loved the Helen Keller book report, Michelle. Listen, I live near Ivy Green, her birthplace, and I think you should send them a copy of that for their archives. Seriously — the ladies there would love it!!!

17 Amo March 6, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Yet another reason to homeschool.

Which I am not.

Because my children would dumber (not the deaf kind but the dog that eats bugs and runs into walls kind) rather than just traumatized from screwed up books.

18 The Mother March 6, 2009 at 2:24 pm

While I am not the kind of mom who shields her children from bad stuff, I really don’t think they need to have it shoved at them in school.

Worst book reports:
The Bridge to Teribithia (kid dies) 4th grade
The Outsiders (kids die, kids go to prison) 6th grade

Diary of Anne Frank (6th grade)–my half Jewish kids didn’t really need to read this at this age.

But I’m really lucky, because a friend of mine has kids in an IB program at a private school, and they read “A CLOCKWORK ORANGE” in 9th grade.

I get that we should expose the kids to literature. I just don’t think that they’re emotionally equipped to handle some of this stuff at these ages.

19 Casey March 6, 2009 at 5:12 pm

OMG, that’s nuts about the drunk driving dad. And a turkey disguised as the Easter Bunny? Huh?

20 colepack March 6, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Um, my kids can not read Harry Potter but they can read this? WTF? If they will read it, I say let them read both!

21 HeatherPride March 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm

I remember reading this book as a kid!! But I do not remember it taking place in the 1900s. More like the 1970s or something. So that is a total crackup that your kid said that life back in that time wasn’t so great!!! Dude, being a kid in the 70s and 80s ROCKED. (unless your dad was a drunk who ran over both your legs. Then it probably sucked.)

22 Jenni Jiggety March 6, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer…

23 Cameron March 6, 2009 at 7:37 pm

A little Xanax should take care of that funk right away.

24 Chris March 6, 2009 at 7:57 pm

LOL — I don’t know which was funnier… Mr C’s book report, the Helen Keller report… or watching Dana’s Brain argue with the comments.

25 Cyndi March 6, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Oh, man.

26 Jessica March 6, 2009 at 9:35 pm

I remember reading this book as a kid. Totally pulled me in, but I loved those angsty books. Oh, and Michelle’s comment cracked me up. FWIW I loved Helen Keller’s book too!

27 Jen W March 7, 2009 at 8:39 am

That.is.awesome! I may need to put this on my must read list.

28 Mary Anna March 7, 2009 at 8:28 pm

Oh, how I love you and Mr. C. and the account of Helen Keller! I busted a gut at my mom’s, but she obviously doesn’t appreciate the humor. Oh, how I wish I was at home … Paul would declare this “awesome.”

29 Captain Dumbass March 7, 2009 at 9:16 pm

I’m really happy I never had to read that book.

30 Janna March 8, 2009 at 5:00 pm

THANK YOU! I have been trying to remember the name of this horrible book I had to read for school. This was the horrible book.

PS I left you something on my blog :)

31 Weezy March 8, 2009 at 6:26 pm

As I am currently in diorama mode for our 2ND ORAL book report (have I mentioned he’s in 3rd grade?), I feel your pain but LOVED the report! Glad he was able to see through the carnage and realize that friendship trumps all. Guess this is what I have to look forward next year. WooHoo!

32 Beth March 8, 2009 at 9:26 pm

The things you learn when your children have crazy books assigned to read. Good luck.

33 Michelle Frick March 8, 2009 at 10:43 pm

OMG – laughing with you as I just survived this exact project with Miss K! Thankfully, all done now and she did well on it! WHEW!!! Big sigh of relief in our house!!!

34 Gotchy March 9, 2009 at 6:59 am

I think I might need to have a word with Mr. C’s teacher!

35 Gotchy March 9, 2009 at 7:45 am

On second thought you should consider sending him to a Catholic School.

36 Meli March 11, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Oh my goodness, the memories!! The Pinballs!! I read this book was I in elementary school and I wrote a book report on it. I loved it. They were called the pinballs because they bounced around from foster home to foster home. At the time I didn’t realize just how heartbreaking the story was. I loved it because to a 7 year old it showed how strong friendship could be, your best friend would always be your best friend no matter what and nothing else mattered. But as an adult the details of the kids lives bring tears to my eyes. I still think it is a great book but I never think that I can read it again.

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