February 2009

…this amazing Man agreed to marry me.

That’s right, for 15 years he has listened to me go on and on and on and on (and on and on). Think I talk a lot on my blog? Pfft. Come spend a weekend at our house. He puts up with my narcissistic ways and on most days actually manages to act interested instead of running out to the street into oncoming traffic. He takes care of everything around the house, sometimes with little to no thanks because I am wrapped up in work and usually don’t snap out of it until at least 8 pm. He even doesn’t mind when I sneak away for a weekend with a bunch of total strangers.

In short, The Man may be a candidate for sainthood at this point.

Please be a friend and leave your condolences for his years suffered at my hands in comment box. That or feel free to marvel about those crispy mall bangs I was sporting that appeared to defy gravity on the ski slope….go on…have a good time at my expense! Trust me, he’ll appreciate the support.

Oh, and by the way Man? I’d do it all over again…I love you.

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Ok, people….stay with me because this one is going to be longer than what I normally subject you to but it’s worth it to hear the goods plus how one published author totally embarassed the holy hell out of me. (Note to readers: Not Jen Lancaster…all the stories of how I stalked her and possibly embarassed myself to come Thursday. Sigh..)

After cooling my heels in the lovely Nashville airport waiting for my bags that took a different flight than I did, I made it to the conference just as it started. Let me tell you guys, if you have a chance to go to this event next year? You really need to. First of all, you just know that anything put on by Mrs. Fussypants and Blissfully Domestic is going to be as classy as it can be. Add in One2One Network and their founder Barbara Jones who comes from a long career in the music industry and you get all the glitz and glamor of being at a Hollywood Event…except in the comfort of the deep south in Nashville.

The conference was set up in two different “tracks”. Apprentice covered everything from blog design and photography to finding your voice and putting the best content out there you possibly can. Maven covered things like Affiliate Marketing (which blew my mind btw, did you know we can make a little money at this people? Did you?), branding your blog and even a panel on how to turn your blog into a book. Having been in online ad sales for 12 years, I sort of thought I knew everything (insert arrogance here).

Let me tell you…I didn’t know nearly as much as I thought I did and I walked away from this weekend with my head swimming with knowledge. The great news is, you can have an entire transcript and audio version of Blissdom ’09 next week and I’ll share the link with you as soon as I have it. I spent about a thousand bucks between airfare, hotel and everything else…you can get it for $75. See? I just saved you $925…who said reading me wouldn’t pay off!

It’s really worth it and I plan to buy it even though I was there. I won’t share all the info but here is one little tid bit to get you thinking. When you post a picture in your blog? Name it. And try to name it something memorable that people may search for. By doing so, you’ll get traffic from Google Images….maybe not a lot but try it, it works. I know this because I named one picture before and I’m still getting traffic from it months later. If you want the rest of the goods, and trust me, this was a teeny tiny tip, take my word for it and buy it Friday.

Friday was spent going to a few panels and then a PJ Party and screening of Mamma Mia. Got to bed early which was a very good thing because the next morning we were presented with a special screening of Disney’s latest effort “Yanni Voices”. I need to stop here and tell you, I was really over my Yanni phase about ten years ago but this? IS HOT. They’ve taken some of his songs and put words to them sung by young HOT opera singers. I know, you aren’t buying it yet. DID I MENTION THEY WERE HOT? I know this because after the performance was over (large screens everywhere, floor to ceiling speakers…it was like being there), two of the singers, Ender Thomas and Nathan Pacheco arrived to meet us personally and take pictures. It was one of my proudest moments when I got to the front of the line and did not blurt out “Oh My God! Do you know I am old enough to be your MOTHER???” immediately upon meeting them. I plan to file this moment under my “personal achievement” category.

Ender? Time to consider a tryout for the next Twighlight movie, seriously brother. Special thanks to Ramblings by Reba for swinging me this picture since my camera went dead!

The next day was filled with various panel discussions and then? MORE HOTNESS. Up and coming singer, Chris Mann, arrived to give us a private concert. Seriously? I am also old enough to be his mother but I think I may be in love. Here….take a peek at him then CLICK HERE to listen to the super sexy voice that goes along with the picture.

You’re Welcome.

All of this hotness was followed by a keynote by none other than my very favorite author of all time, Jen Lancaster. Have you read Bitter is the New Black, Bright Lights Big Ass and Such a Pretty Fat? No? Go buy them now. I don’t think we can be friends anymore if you don’t. Really.

Go on. I’ll wait.

Back? Okay. Her speech? Was freaking awesome. I’d share more info but I’m saving an entire post for this subject later in the week. Trust, you will want to know the depths of stalking I went to.

That night, we had a little cocktail party with karaoke (anyone from Blissdom reading this can thank me now for not singing…) and I met a ton of bloggers. Every single person there was so nice and willing to share information. Yet again another reason you should consider Blissdom ’10. Mrs. Fussypants sets a tone and everyone seems to follow it because, let’s face it, we all respect and lurve her.

Later that night, Mom It Forward threw an after party. I was looking forward to it, their concept is AMAZING. I say I was looking forward to it because I can’t say I actually attended. This is where one of my new very favorite people on the planet comes into play. White Trash Mom (who also has a great book…The White Trash Mom Handbook, which if you have not read, you must!) was standing at the door when I walked in. We met the day before when apparently I was wearing my “Please Jack With Me” sign on my forehead because when I walked in she belched REALLY LOUD. By really loud, I mean my hair blew back a little bit. That, in and of itself is not a big deal…but she did it at a moment that was sort of serious and quiet. Which would be bad enough but then she looked at me all wide eyed and said even louder….

Wow, thanks WTM. Dude, you are so on my payback list now. After grabbing her and dragging her out of the room (she’s quite small….wasn’t difficult at all) we stood outside and talked for over half an hour. She? Is the bomb and I think I’m a little bit of white trash in love with her.

All in all, Blissdom ’09 was possibly the best conference I’ve ever attended and you have to consider it next time. Just think…you’ll get to meet me…and chances are, I’ll make a fool of myself yet again.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: (Still love this. Am important in my own mind.) I am posting every day this week except Friday which I know is more of me than you could ever want. Come back Wednesday for a very special edition of The Stiletto Mom where you will get an opportunity to roast me on my own site. Thursday will bring a blow by blow account of my almost professional stalking efforts as I tracked Jen Lancaster throughout the conference and how Dallas, if it is even being considered, may not be a good idea on her book tour.

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It’s Sammanthia from My A Cup Runneth Over! Just when I thought she had changed her URL and stopped posting in attempt to ditch us all, she turned up at Blissdom. (She is TOTALLY adorable in real life btw) Turns out she has been buried under about 10 feet of ice in Kentucky for a week. With her three kids at home. With no electricity. Which means no TV. Or video games. Oy.

Anyway, I didn’t know she was going to be there so when I got a tweet from her telling me to come look for her, I immediately began assaulting every woman in the crowd with a bob haircut. I think I may have had a slightly crazed look in my eyes as well so to all you women whose name tags I grabbed while you were minding your own business? Thank you for being so sweet and not slapping me for getting too close to your breastesses.

Blissdom was AMAZING and I’ll have stuff to share with you all week. Nicest. People. Ever. I learned so much and met so many amazing women…it really blew my mind from start to finish.

I will tell you, I made it through the first day with no major embarassments. The second day? Different story. Oh well, I think you knew given the opportunity to stalk and possibly make an ass of myself in front of my favorite author that I was totally going to take the ball and stumble run with it, right?

Of course you did.

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Hitting the airport tomorrow to head to Nashville to attend Blissdom ’09. I’ve packed my bags, read a bunch of the blogs that will be in attendance, I’ve done all the work. I am officially ready to go…except…this weekend? I grew a zit garden.

Awesome.

While watching the Superbowl last Sunday, I mentioned to one of my girlfriends that I just could not believe the timing of this particular assault on my face since I was going out of town to hang out with a bunch of women (300!!!) I had never met in my life. Being the great friend she is, she didn’t even give me the side eye about why on earth I would do such a thing…she knows how much I’m into this whole bloggedy blog thing. Instead she told me to stop by the next night and grab a bottle something she had been given that she promised was a sure fire cure.

I went to her house Monday night to pick up said cure in a bottle, and her husband, who is big tall Southern guy, hung out talking to us. As my friend was telling me about this miracle cure (it really is…), he stood by with a curious look on his face. Finally when she and I were done extolling the virtues of this product and how it was going to save my life, or at least my face, her husband who I love dearly jumped into the conversation.

Hubs: “So where are you going this weekend?”
TSM: “To a blogging conference to hang out with 300 women I’ve never met.”
Hubs: “You nervous?”
TSM: “No. Why?”
Hubs: “Well because that’s the only reason your face would break out, right?”
TSM: “Well that or I’m on my period.”
Hubs: “OH.”

Yeah, he hightailed it out pretty quickly after that. I hung out and had a glass of wine and some girly chat with my friend…but I never saw him again that night. You men just don’t like hearing stories about our lady plumbing, do you? Hey, I was just being honest.

I’m happy to report that after walking around my house with this stuff dotting my face and scaring my children and husband for four days…it’s totally the bomb and worked like a champ clearing up my face. I’m not sure my children will ever get over the sight of me for the past few days walking around like I had some form of medieval potion on my skin, but in my mind? That’s what counseling is for. Note to self: “Start saving now.”

So, I’m off to Blissdom ’09. There are tons bloggers that I cannot wait to meet plus my favorite author, Jen Lancaster. It’s safe to say I have an author crush on her and want her to be my bestest friend forever and ever. Stalker much? PERHAPS.

So wish me luck, and remind me not to make an ass of myself. Chances are high I will and I promise I will tell you every detail upon my return!

You know what?

I just got REALLY nervous….

Oh PS? Google? Thanks for the narsty acne pics you are showing….I am proud to say next week I’m kickin’ you to the curb. But readers? My face looked almost that bad this week so you can see why I freaked out. So Google, thank you (and you will never hear me say that again) for illustrating my point. Pfft!

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