And This Is Why I Can’t Be Trusted To Play With Technology

by Mary Anne on February 25, 2009

Today, I decided to try to learn something new, Skype. Yes, yes…I know it’s been around forever. I know this for a few reasons. First because you couldn’t miss the hype around it (it sold to ebay for 3.1 billion!). Secondly, because while at a wedding in London, I actually met the founder of Skype (also know as the dude who pocketed a bunch of the 3.1 billion btw) and did not know who he was and proceeded, as usual, to make a slight bit of an arse of myself in front of him. I know, shocking, right? Trust me, this is a pattern long in the making. I think my real talent here lies in my ability to appear normal around normal people but…if you bring anyone newsworthy into the picture it’s wheels off in very short order.

Anyway, until last night I’d never really had a use for it. It all went so well at first. I downloaded the program and managed to figure out how to chat on it right away. Success! So today, I decided to have another go at it.

I should at this point tell you the person I was chatting with last night was none other than the most fabulous Mrs. Fussypants. I know this may seem inconsequential right now, but stay with me, this is plot people. If you aren’t lucky enough to know Mrs. Fussypants like I do…you should know this…there is no finer example of a well mannered Southern Belle than she. She just exudes a mental image of sitting on a large veranda in a rocking chair, sipping mint juleps, all the while making you feel ohsoveryspecial.

Which is to say, the opposite of me.

So today, I logged on hoping to catch her to chat some more and noticed I had a few new people to follow, or whatever it is you call it in Skype world. So trying to be friendly, and immediately after pinging her and saying, “Oh Hiiiii darlin” to her (I am from Texas…not the best at the deep South thing but I try, you know?) I accepted this other persons friend request. At which point a message immediately popped up asking where this other person could see pictures of me.

What??? Why???

Turns out, this other person was A VERY BAD GIRL. And so, due to a naturally ridiculously obsessively high level of curiosity, combined with a healthy dose of stewpit, I clicked on her link.

My eyes!!!! They burn!!!!!

I can tell you two things. First of all, somewhere in America, there is a mother crying rivers of tears if she knows what her daughter is doing. Secondly, if my children ever ask where babies come from, I now have a very graphic picture to show them the exact location.

Now, back to my lack of common sense, the best bet here would have been to play it cool, but that’s just not how I roll so I immediately told Fussy what I had done, at which point she was all like, “Mary Anne…why would you friend A VERY BAD GIRL??? You need to block her right now!”

Which, yes, that is very good advice. Fussy is bonafide A list. She speaks? Stiletto listens. However, I have just no idea how to block on Skype and now find myself afraid to go back on there.

Come to think of it, I think I will go back. And? I think I’ll share pictures of myself as I appear first thing in the am with her. Messy hair, ugly flannel nighty, possibly fuzzy slippers and glasses.

Payback baby. Payback!

Programming Note: I won’t be here Friday….I’ll be back in Jolly Old England at Kat’s 3 Bedroom Bungalow. Stop by…learn the REAL name of The Man and learn how he made a bigger arse of himself in London than I did. And trust me, it took some work people! So mark your calendars, post a sticky note on your head…or, well… how about I just remind you Friday? Mkay?

{ 48 comments }

1 Sprite's Keeper February 25, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Skype? Never heard of it. And it made some guy billions? Oy, my rock is calling..

2 Michele February 25, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I can hardly figure out how to do the whole friend thing on Facebook. And what is with that writing on your wall thing? I can’t be expected to figure out Skype.

Can hardly wait until Friday.

3 Elizabeth February 25, 2009 at 8:08 pm

You won’t have to block her if you share those photos; she’ll block you! ;)

4 Dorsey February 25, 2009 at 8:14 pm

My hubby introduced me to Skype when he was in the Philippines. Its how we chat while he’s away on business trips. Good luck with Skype in the future. I’m not on there unless hubby’s out of the country, typically.

5 foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) February 25, 2009 at 8:30 pm

I haven’t Skyped in a couple years, and then I just did it for the free long distance calling. I didn’t talk to any Very Bad People, though. Well, one friend may have been a little shady…

Anyway, I haven’t done Skype for a long time. I get enough strange Very Bad Girls wanting to show me things my mama said never to look at on Yahoo IM from time to time!

6 Shell February 25, 2009 at 8:42 pm

You are toooooooooooooo funny girlie! Have fun in London town!

7 Cyntha February 25, 2009 at 8:51 pm

I have been meaning to catch up with you. What a hilarious story and good for you to get back at her. You are one superfabulous lady. Love your blog.

8 Robin February 25, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Well it could have been worse. You could’ve accidentally posted dirty pictures of yourself. Um, not that you have any of those! :)

9 Cameron February 25, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Sorry bout that. As it turns out, my Skype name is ‘A Very Bad Girl’. The picture…just found it on Google images.

10 Kate Coveny Hood February 25, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Maybe this is why Chris made me take Skype off our computer. (I downloaded it record a phone interview – but I never actually used the recording for anything.) He’s far savvier than me and probably knew I would be virtually molested by bad people.

11 pamela February 25, 2009 at 11:12 pm

Sometimes we need to have a Very Bad Girl in our lives to remind us that we actually are Very Good Girls.

And London? I loved London. Can’t cross the street there, but I loved London.

12 Captain Dumbass February 25, 2009 at 11:20 pm

I prefer being a recluse so I’ll skip the skype.

13 jessica February 25, 2009 at 11:29 pm

curiosity killed the cat or at the very least blinded her. Haven’t you ever heard that expression before?

14 Tara February 26, 2009 at 3:09 am

Not another thing to suck more life out of me.
I’ve avoided Facebook like the plague because everyone seems to get sucked into that vortex and am only just about managing to keep my head above water with Twitter.
Have a great time over here in Blighty. x

15 The Dental Maven February 26, 2009 at 4:59 am

Okay, I’m freaked out. No Skyping in The Maven household.

16 Michelle February 26, 2009 at 8:39 am

I just started using it too since my mom is in AZ and she wanted to be able to see Peanut while she was away. It’s a lot of fun, but if I don’t know someone (or if the profile says “hey, you can see my picture here!”) I likely will just block them. It’s just spam in Skype form. (You can also report her. When you block there is the option to report abuse… report it!)

17 Janna February 26, 2009 at 8:39 am

For a second there I thought you were calling her “a very bad girl” not that her name was “A Very Bad Girl”.

Am officially scared of Skype. The thought being scarred by ANY very bad girls on skype is enough to scare me away.

Besides, Twitter’s got me confused enough, thankyouverymuch.

18 Connie @ Young and Relentless February 26, 2009 at 9:00 am

We use skype to talk to my in laws and sometimes my father in law doesn’t wear his shirt.

19 Mama Dawg February 26, 2009 at 9:32 am

There are times when I’m grateful that I do not have a home computer. This would be one of those times.

20 Beth February 26, 2009 at 10:04 am

My virgin eyes and ears will have none of that. I’ll skip Skype, too.

21 HeatherPride February 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Oops, that was me. Sorry!

Love,
AVBG

22 Jenni Jiggety February 26, 2009 at 5:50 pm

I have skype but none of my friends do…so I talk to myself.

Good times.

23 The Lawyer Mom February 26, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Oh dear. I don’t know what Skype is either. When you mentioned it in your post, I thought you were going to write about in-flight magazines. Too daunting for me.

But hey, guess what. Notice I am actually leaving a comment after weeks of an involuntary sabbatical? New computer came today. Yes it surely did. And it appears to be working. I can now report that refurbed computers, bought sight unseen off of the internet do work out ccasionally, if you have the patience of Job.

24 Jen W February 26, 2009 at 6:53 pm

We have Skype, too. For some reason, there seem to be a lot of strangers from China who want to “chat”. I’ve never had the guts to answer.

25 Keely February 26, 2009 at 8:06 pm

So….this is different than msn or any other VOIP chatty thing how?

26 Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy February 27, 2009 at 6:54 am

That is so funny! Don’t tell my husband, or he might trip over himself signing up for Skype. LOL.

27 bex February 27, 2009 at 9:11 am

curiosity killed the cat – in your case, your innocence.

28 shauna February 28, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Ok – I keep hearing about this on Skype and I have not dealt with it yet….crazy. Look forward to meeting you tonight at the blogger dinner – should be a blast.

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I am googling Skype now…..

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