Have I told you how much I love Jen Lancaster? Have I? If not, let me recap. I bought “Bitter Is The New Black” the day it came out. It was a fluke, because I had never heard of her at that point. But still. Seredipity I tell you.
I had already signed up for Blissdom when I heard she was coming which makes me slightly less of a stalker…but not really. Leading up to the event, I re-read Bitter is the New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass in TWO DAYS. I should also tell you that this came on the heels of me devouring all four Twilight books in the course of one month. The Man thought he was finally going to be able to have a conversation with me again. That is, until he saw me with my Jen Lancaster books and immediately said, “Oh God, not HER again!”. Yep….she was back with vengence in our lives.
Also, you should know that I sent her an email in advance of Blissdom. Having never sent fan mail before, I felt like a total ass but felt it was only fair to warn her that I might perhaps be a bit, JUST A TINY BIT of a full time resident of Jennsylvania and her number one fan. (Not number one fan like Stephen King’s Misery, more like I’d like to kidnap her and force her to go for mannies and peddies and then come back home, bake brownies, braid each others hair and watch American Idol….just to be clear.)
I had private coaching sessions with myself in the weeks leading up to Blissdom where I repeatedly lectured myself to maintain control. “You are not going to freak out. You are not going to make an ass of yourself. You are not going to GUSH ALL OVER HER.”
Really?
OH YES I WAS.
I saw Jen the first night at the cocktail party, walked up, introduced myself and she said “Oh, you’re The Stiletto Mom? I asked someone else if they were you earlier today.”
Control flew out the door and I proceeded to vomit tiny pink hearts and daisies at her feet.
OhMyGod…YouWon’tBelieveThisButIReReadTheFirstTwoBooksBecause
IHadToGetInTouchWithMyInnerJenBeforeICameThereAndOMGTheyWereStill
EveryBitAsGoodMyHusbandIsAboutToKillMeBecauseITotallyStoppedTalking
ToHimDidYouLikeTwighlight?AnywayIJustWantedToIntroduceMyself
BecauseIJustLoveAllOfYourBooksAndYouAreTheEntireReasonIHaveABlog…
Deep Breath…and…
Ahem.
Thankfully, she is probably one of the Nicest. People. Ever. because not only did she allow me to vault myself at her and give her a hug, she continued to talk to me for several minutes after. Seriously people? She could have been standoffish given that little stalky moment I threw out but she made me feel like I had known her forever. When someone else walked up to her she was nice enough to say “Come find me tomorrow, we’ll finish talking.”
Wait. That sounded like an invitation.
So, of course I found her. I asked for a picture with her first thing in the morning.
In the afternoon, I sat through her panel on book deals and then her keynote address which was nothing short of awesome. She listed some tenents she lives by, they were all great but my favorite by far was “Learn to embrace your failures.” Not only is this my favorite because I totally agree, but also because she is living proof that if you take the time to really examine what happened and how you played a roll in it, not only do you learn from it but you can change the course of your life by building on that knowledge. I have many failures I can wrap my arms around so I figure I’ve got a really good start on this one and plan to put it in action quickly.
No, really, I’m being serious. I am the proud owner of a truckload of FAIL, I’m hoping I may be on to something here.
After listening to her speech, I ran out to the table where they were selling books for her to autograph. Sure, this marks the fourth time I’ve bought Bitter is the New Black (twice while I was reading it because I lost one, one before leaving Dallas for her to autograph that I left behind and now this) but who’s counting? I waited in a very long line and when I finally made it up to the front, I told her that really my stalking would not be complete if I didn’t have the chance to wait in line and buy her book for the fourth time. I am serious about my stalking and I think she appreciated it because look how she signed my book…
Wait. Was that another invitation? Probably not. But why let a silly thing like a possible restraining order stop me from entertaining myself the rest of the conference? Pfft.
Later that night, after the belching incident with my tiny friend, White Trash Mom, she and I joined a table in the restaurant where Poppy Buxom, Domestic Chicky, Vintage Squirrel and of course, Jen Lancaster, were sitting. (pretty sure she knew she wasn’t gonna get away from me at this point…) I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun it was…total silliness, lots of giggling and for me, perhaps one drink too many. When it was time to call it a night (which they chose to call it a night…I chose to continue my stupidity with Tara from Ligit Amy at OutDoorDogs and Michelle from Vintage Squirrel who also chose to soldier on…) I had to start the whole unfortunate hugging thing again. What can I say, I’m a lovah. I’m not sure, BUT, I think I stepped on Jen’s toes or maybe it was Poppy Buxom…either way, probably not my proudest moment. Way to leave a mark, and by mark, I mean a possible bruise.
So there you have it, the story of how I met someone I’ve been dying to meet for several years and made a bigger fool of myself than the time I met Tom Cruise.
Yes, really.
Good thing she told us all about that “Embracing your failures” thing….looks like I’ve got something to bear hug after this conference!


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