Happy Halloween!

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Last night marked the official start to the Halloween weekend in the Stiletto house and that can only mean one thing…time to carve the pumpkins! The kids carefully selected the designs they wanted and then we went to work. And by we, I mean me and The Man because beyond picking the designs the kids didn’t really want much to do with it unless it involved very sharp tools which we generally find to be a bad idea. We were able to momentarily enlist the talents of Miss G who really enjoyed digging the guts out…

…and there are no pictures of Mr. C because he was more interested in watching Total Drama Island and popping in and out ocassionally to supervise myself and The Man.

Almost two hours later with sore arms and covered in pumpkin guts “the kids” had finished their pumpkins.

Not bad, huh? And it was all worth it too, because now I am a hanging with the cool kids over at Sprite’s Keeper in her weekly Spin Cycle. Happy Halloween you guys…hope it is a safe and happy one with lots of treats and not too many tricks!

Told Ya So

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I knew it, I just knew it! My good friend Ann of at Ann Again…And Again just gave me the heads up on some breaking news.

As predicted, Joe The Plumber is going to extend his 15 minutes of fame….BY BECOMING A COUNTRY MUSIC STAR. Well yee-haw y’all!

Says his spokesperson:

“He’s had a deluge of requests. Right now we’re just planning on getting him through the week. There’s going to be life far beyond the election for Joe the Plumber.”

Told ya so. And? I’m fairly sure the producers of Dancing With The Stars are probably already in touch with him. I sense that he will start speaking in the third person any day now. “Joe the Plumber thinks it’s a nice day” “Joe the Plumber likes what you are wearing” “Joe the Plumber would like to flush your pipes”…wait, that wasn’t nice.

We have to end the drinking game after election night or we are all doomed as it would appear that this nonsense will never end. God help us all.

Joe The Plumber, The Drinking Game

McCain 2008 Joe the Plumber

I’d like to propose a drinking game. I think it will make it easier for all of us to endure these last painful few days of this mess we call an election.

Introducing: Joe The Plumber….The Drinking Game. Every time while you are watching the evening news and someone from either party says “Joe The Plumber”, take a big drink. Sure we will all be a hammered hot mess of bloggers but it’s better than watching the news, right? If you don’t drink…have some water and get some serious hydration…just join me on this one.

I applaud this guy for asking a logical question, I feel sorry for him that at one moment he was a normal member of society and now he has an official Wiki entry and cameras following him around. Also? I am jealous because I am fairly certain he will be able to turn this into a seven figure book deal and I can’t seem to get myself into a good position to ask either party a good question. But good for him.

I just need this madness to stop. And by stop, I mean right effing now. The phrase is making me crazy on both sides. Tell me what you think…are you in on this drinking game? And by tell me what you think, I mean tell me what you think about this drinking game of mine…BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, POLITICAL DIATRIBES ON EITHER SIDE WILL BE DELETED…the The Stiletto Mom just doesn’t roll that way. Go forth and be the champion of your own political destiny….just not here.

The one thing I hope we can all agree on regarding the topic of Joe the Plumber is this saying:

Now pardon me while I go curl up in a corner and listen to more newsh….hiccup…

Premature Ornamentation

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Two weeks ago I went to the mall while Miss G was at cheer practice and saw the most amazing thing ever. So amazing that I had to go back some two weeks later and take pictures to share with all of you. Now, before I get into it, let’s really define what two weeks ago means. I saw this for the first time on October 14th which in and of itself is not significant other than the fact it is too many days before Halloween and WAY too many days before Thanksgiving. Two holidays which I believe deserve their own attention.

Apparently not.

On October 14th, I walked into the mall and saw this:

I think I actually said “Oh. Hell. No.” out loud because the slack jawed man standing next to me said “Looks like a Hell Yes to me.”.

I love Christmas, I really do but I think it needs to know it’s place which is BEHIND HALLOWEEN AND THANKSGIVING.

I’m not ready to hear Christmas carols and I know they are just around the corner too. I understand we are in a recession (or not depending on who you listen to….I personally AM in a recession) and they need to boost holiday sales but I don’t think acing out two other holidays is the way to do it either. Additionally, I would like to think the least amount possible about how much money I’ll have to spend at the holidays this year rather than start hyper-ventilating about it in October.

Also? That globe thing? Is that some type of hyperbolic chamber for Santa? Is he suffering from some illness I’m not aware of? Or is this some type of a play on that Boy in the Bubble movie with John Travolata from years ago? I think my children would fear going into what looks to be an oxygen chamber with a person they don’t know, even if it is Santa Claus.

Santa rules the roost of the holiday peeps but being the magnanamous guy he is he needs to not steal the thunder of The Great Pumpkin and Turkey Day. No matter how much I love him, everyone needs to know their place and his place is NOT YET no matter how cool of a guy he is.

I hope this doesn’t put me on the “bad” list…though there is so much else that would qualify me for that distinguished honor this year, I guess I shouldn’t sweat this one too much.

Premature Ornamentation is so much like a another certain phrase that starts with the word premature. Lots of excitement leading up to it, and then a finish that disappoints because you were expecting to get your stocking stuffed and all you got was a lump of coal. Just sayin’.

A Break From Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

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Well hello everyone. I’m not here today, even though it looks like I am. I’m here….at A Month of Stuff. What is a month of stuff you ask? Well, just like it implies, it runs the course of a month and contains stuff. This month it contains stuff related to fantasy. And not fantasy like THAT, get your mind out of the gutter. So if you want a guided look into the shallow state of my fantasy life, CLICK HERE. Be nice and leave comments for me too so I don’t look like a huge loser. Hey, I’d do it for you.

AND SPEAKING OF LOSERS…

….I’ve been a horrible friend and bad blogger. I’ve gotten a few awards and have not acknowledged them as I should have. Even though it would appear that this is a result of be being a huge bitch (which I am)…it’s actually because I’m stupid. As my mother would say, “Stupid and Bitchy is just no way to go through life honey” but there you have it.

I have a confession to make, I have no idea how to work my blog. There…I’ve said it.

See those buttons over there to the right? Yeah, I had to pay my web developer to post those for me. It would appear it’s time again top open up my checkbook to Creative Streak, the lovely people who are responsible for the fact you now have to endure me on a daily basis.

So without furter adieu and with greatest thanks, take a look at my trophy shelf!

Tina from The Adventures of a Working Mom was kind enough to share this with me:

I have no idea what that means, thankfully Tina sensed that and posted an explanation for me:

This is a very cool Portuguese Award and it means this blog invests in and believes that blogging makes us close. Proximidade translated to English means vicinity, or neighbourhood.

I really love this particular award because of the description. It’s so strange to have only been doing this for a few months and to have come across such amazing people and feel like I’ve known them forever, Tina being one of the first I met. Plus, I adore imports! Thanks, Tina!!!!

My buddy Keely over at A Letter to Xander surpised me next with this little gem:

…aw, Keely, I totally heart you right back. Reading your Letters To Xander makes me want to run out and have another baby. Then I pick up the phone and call my gynocologist to thank him for taking care of that little impulse for me. That baby of yours is DANGEROUS!

Then my buddy Heinous from Irregularly Periodic Ruminations shared this one with me:

Heinous, I love your ass and you know it. Well, I mean, not your actual ass because I don’t know what it looks like. Besides that, your wife would kill me for loving your ass. The Man would likely also be highly unamused. So to be safe, I’m going to change that comment to the more generic….I love you man!

You are supposed to pass these awards on to various numbers of people. Another thing with this whole “it takes a village to build a post for Stiletto Mom” is that most of you have one or all of these! So in addition to being stupid and bitchy as I ‘ve covered above, I’m going to also add rule breaker to my set of unpleasant issues my friends and family have to deal with on a daily basis. If you don’t have one of these awards, consider yourself awarded by me!

…and I swear I’ll figure out how to work my blog eventually!!!!

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