I Am Glam…But You Already Knew That

Ok, I’m going to share my weekend plans with you even though I know it will make yours pale in comparison.

Tonight? Magical. Fantastic. An evening to be remembered for months to come….if you are a 7 year old girl anyway. Tonight I will be hosting 12 adorable little girls to a spa night at American Girl. I know, I’m sorta glamorous that way.

Spa? For Dolls? Why, yes! And guess what? It costs an arm and a leg too. From what I hear, the dolls are each given little spa robes and slippers, get their hair done and even have little cucumber slices to soothe their tired little doll eyes. Yes, really.

I’ve only had a few experiences at American Girl. The first was last year when I thought it would be fun for Miss G and I to have a girls day at the store while we were in NYC. We had shopping planned and a luncheon with Sophie (the doll) all cued up. We got there in time for Sophie’s hair appointment. Of course she had to get into a special robe for her treatment, at which point we discovered she had a full body tattoo going on. I looked at Miss G and she said, “Wow, how did THAT get THERE?” Hmmm…no idea but those smiley faces and daisies sure do look familiar.

I should have known the excitement was going to be way too much for her and it was confirmed for me when we were mid debate as to whether or not we would be buying anything for Bitty Baby (yet another way AG takes money out of my pockets). After firmly telling her in no uncertain terms that we would NOT be buying things for Bitty, I stepped onto the escalator with her hand in mine…and then she pulled her hand out and ran back into the store, on the third floor…in downtown freaking Manhattan…OMG! I totally freaked and I was doing the running man back up the down escalator but I was weighted down with bags. Talk about freaking out…lose your kid in downtown NYC, that will put 10 years on you in a second. Finally a very grumpy employee dragged her back to the escalator and delivered her to me. I assume this kind of shenanigans happens all the time, and if it were my job? I’d be grumpy too.

The next time we made the trek to American Girl, everything was much easier. The MIL had flown into town and brought my future rock star attorney niece with her. Both girls used their best manners and shopped thoughtfully for outfits for their dolls. (Plus? The MIL was buying so I was in an even better mood!) We started with lunch which was amazingly good. Again, both girls acting their best. There are these little chairs that you can attach to the table so your doll can sit with you while you eat. Which is so cute. IF YOU ARE A CHILD. So like I said, it’s all going well, until, these two women…one in her forties the other I think was her mom…came and sat next to us and I’m all like “Oh, Hell No….”. Yep Dolls. They both had dolls. Got them little chairs and everything, smoothed their hair, set napkins in front of them. So of course I had to stare, because I have about the same mental maturity as my seven year old, and Miss G was staring too. The difference is, I can keep my voice down when I need to, and little G can’t. Later on while we were shopping, we saw these two grown women with their dolls again and Miss G asks a logical question, “Mamma, aren’t they too old for that?” Hey, it’s a fair question. I still don’t know if they heard her or not…I was too busy covering her mouth with my hand and dragging her behind some massive Kit display…where she found the $150 tree house she couldn’t live without. (She’s still living without it btw.)

So tonight, just think about me as I help all these little angels apply mud masks and cucumbers to their dolls. And try not to hate me for having such a rockin’ life.

UPDATE: I’m home and in one piece if you can believe it. Personally, I am shocked. These American Girl people? Were apparently sent from heaven because they were all, “Oh no, Mrs. Stiletto Mom..let me take care of that for you.” and “Please, sit and enjoy your salmon while I cut 15 (yep, had three extras) individual pizzas into bite size pieces.” Really…they served me salmon…I adore them. I thank alll of you for your support as I was checking to see if you felt sorry for me from my Blackberry. Plus, every single little girl was an angel. Oh, and Vodka Mom? Yeah, no alcohol which is probably a good thing bc I would have been curled up in a corner in fear from the get go nursing a scotch which would have probably been really frowned upon I think. You may have a business idea that needs to be entertained though. Have your people call my people and let’s put the pen to the paper on this baby. We’re gonna be RICH! If we don’t get arrested first anyway.

Tagged as: American Girl