Last night, Miss G ran out to show us that she had literally ripped a toof out of her mouth. Blood gushing everywhere, she was so proud, bless her. Mind you, this is not the first toof, it is the third but this one proved to be especially difficult in it’s desire to stay in the mouth of the Princess forever. As she jumped up and down exclaiming, “My toof! My toof!” it was all I could do not to gag at the bloody rag hanging out of her mouth. I’m a bit of a wuss, I admit. The Man and I talked to her about how she should be so excited that the tooth fairy was soon going to make her RICH! Miss G listened very closely and agreed to leave the toof in a place that would make it easy for the magical Tooth Fairy to get in and out and leave her wad of cash as she is ever so busy with so many teef to get to.
Yeah well, Miss G is a tricky little princess. She decided to hide the toof and see if the Tooth Fairy could find it. Miss G also demanded to sleep in our room which ruined our Saturday night and added a new level of difficulty to our toof fairy operation.
The Man and I go to bed after several glasses (a bottle) of wine. A few minutes into those wonderful moments between sleep and consciousness I hear some massive fumbling going on on his side of the room. The Man is looking for the toof and it ain’t nowhere to be found. Typical. We’ve been duped again by a little blondie with green eyes and freckles. The Man searches and searches, no toof. Still a promise is a promise and said Tooth Fairy leaves five bucks.
First thing in the morning, Miss G gets up and promptly begins her search for the loot. She and The Man come running into my office where I was stalking surfing my favorite blogs, and The Man is looking slightly alarmed. We still believe in Santa Clause in our house, and the notion of a giant bunny leaving eggs throughout our house is not only accepted but embraced. We don’t need the Tooth Fairy jacking up our well constructed fantasy life with our kids. However, there it is, in all it’s glory…a grocery list in my writing attached to the five bucks. How it got there, I do not know. All I know is I quickly had to explain to Miss G that the Tooth Fairy must be really busy and she must have been the last stop on the list before her trip to the grocery store to purchase such staples as sliced turkey, swiss cheese, health nut bread, avocado, red onion and tomato. Sounds to me like the Tooth Fairy wanted her some California Club Sammies! There really is no explanation for the Dog Food as we all know the Tooth Fairy is to busy to care for a canine, right? Thank God, she cannot read my writing for this was the one answer I was not prepared to give.
After much interrogation as to where the toof was, Miss G admitted to hiding it in her blanket. She was still giving us the evil eye, we think she may be on to us and our little scheme where fat men fit through the chimneys, bunnies have opposable thumbs that can carry baskets and some winged female creature collects teeth and does God Knows What with them.
The good news is, The Man is a sneaky one and was able to distract her with some well placed sugary breakfast treats buying him the needed time to find the toof. Score one for the Tooth Fairy who lives to collect bloody toofus stumps another day!
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Funny! We once forgot to actually take the tooth when we left the money and our sneak son wanted to leave it AGAIN to get more money. When we explained that he could not do that, that the tooth fairy would know, he DEMANDED to know HOW could she POSSIBLY know when she had FORGOTTEN the tooth in the first place so she had NOTHING to compare it to???? To what my husband, quick thinker, said “she’ll count your gaps to see how many teeth you’ve lost and will be really mad when she realizes you’re trying to pull a fast one on her. Which will mean no more visits from the Tooth Fairy”.
That settled it.
M
And why oh why the add with the bags????? Don’t you know we are in a recession and I can’t possibly justify yet another bag?
M
That is too funny. Trying to stump the toothfairy lol. Now I know what my little one might be up to when that time comes, thanks for the heads up LOL.
That’s so funny! It’s a lot of pressure to keep this whole fantasy world of S.C. and the Easter Bunny going. I’m glad we don’t yet have the Tooth Fairy to contend with.
That The Man distracted her with SUGARY breakfast treats…oh the irony. Could he be giving the Toof Fairy more business?
And thanks so much for the linky love!
Rookies! If you can’t find the tooth, you don’t leave the money. She’s gonna be onto you in no time!
Oh, and 5 dollars? Check out this post.
Suburban Correspondent, you crack me up. We really are rookies comared to you…just spent some time on your blog…I have SO MUCH to learn!
I fear for you during her teenage years… Sounds like she’s always a few steps ahead. My oldest is only 3 – so we haven’t gotten to the Tooth Fairy stage yet. But I remember going through it myself and getting a quarter per tooth. And after walking three miles in the snow to school, I was glad to have that quarter! But seriously – it makes me wonder what our grandchildren’s expectations will be… possibly $100/week for a 6 year old’s allowance – because those $10 candy bars really add up.
Oh, you guys were lucky! She sounds like a samrt one. You might have to step up your game. Love it!
All hail the Toof Fairy!
She surprises the kiddies once again.
And may I add, Wow! Five bucks?!? My children’s teeth have been grossly undervalued.
And here’s a “grown-up” question, you mentioned wine. What kind of wine did YOU have last night? My husband and I enjoyed a cab. from a new winery in Washington state. I bought it just for the label. It’s made by a mother of 4 daughter’s. The wine’s name? Tantrum.
(It was yummy!)
Yeah Ann, I went the cheap route due to the high value of my childrens teeth. Clos Du Bois Chard…year unknown…on sale for 10.99. Damn these kids and their expensive teeth…your route sounds so much better. And Tantrum? I think I need to know about that.
Also, I’d like to add that we tried to go the 1 buck route to no avail. My son promptly informed me some of his friends got TWENTY BUCKS for their front teeth AND a toy. Either he is one hell of a negotiator or I need to move before the car discussion starts. Hmmm…possibly I have a topic for my post tomorrow.
We have gone through two toofs so far. The biggest challenge we had was searching up a couple of bucks late at night! Is it wrong to take money out of your kid’s piggy-bank to leave from the Tooth Fairy?
Yeah, I thought so.
You should have hid the five and left a note that read, “Tell me where the tooth is and I’ll tell you where the loot is. You can’t break tradition, kid.”
Yeah, we had to do some fast talking when we moved into a house with no chimney. I’d like an updated version of Santa, please. One who does not have to have a chimney in which to leave presents under the tree!
Hey Mary Anne, I’m laughing because I had no idea of what you were referrencing with “…and congrats with your Mom of the Week” award.
I kept looking at those words going ‘Wha’? Where?’
I did find it eventually.
Thank you for letting me know!
$5 for a tooth?! We only got a quarter back in the day. I know times have changed but not that much. Heck what could I get for a kidney? I have 2 if anyone is interested.
Not to alarm you but she may just be on to you after the Abe Lincoln Grocery List debacle (Abe’s the prez on the five dollar bill….I had to wiki it)–she might just dust for prints on the next bill–might be time to pull out the latex gloves….just saying…
Blessings!
Octamom….I think i have to take your warning to heart…you officially know WAY MORE of this than I do!! Friends, go check her out…she has eight kids and has her act together!
Uhm- the tooth fairy RECYCLES the teeth and gives them to babies… duh! Once totally spaced on the tooth switcheroo and had to make up a big story about how sometimes the tooth fairy gets overbooked and can’t some the same night!
i only got a quarter when i was a kid. i always thought the tooth fairy ate the teeth.
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